the (not so) great breakin (dinotown part 5)

43 000 016 BC

okay so i needed to bust into dinotown for a bunch of really righteous reasons...

after spending the night at my car considering my options only one course was clear. or rather a bunch of courses. okay i'm confused too... i think my brains a little jolted after today's events

so this morning i had to come up with what i was going to do. now i've watched movies like impossible mission, peter bond 007, and home alone. the key to this sort of thing is to come up with a plan...

so that's what i did...


plan 1

operation: chain fence link (a popular evolutionary theory by the way)

objective: to scale the protective fence around enemy stronghold

procedure: climb the fence

planned implementation: 1100 hours


11:09 all operatives carried out phase 1 without incident. enemy position was approached with extreme stealth (just like batman!).

11:14 team leader codenamed peanut fountain initiated phase 2 at approximately 1120 hours. enemy fence proved deceptively easy to climb

11:15 mid phase 3 (reaching top of fence) team met with extreme enemy resistance.

11:23 after the initial lose of cohesion and clear leadership, team was able to regroup... one casualty was identified in the field. team member codenamed juciy fruit was reported lost in combat...


okay so climbing the fence wasn't the best idea i've ever had. who would have known those electricy fence looking wires at the top would ACTUALLY be electricy?!?

so these planteaters may have kaputted that idea... what fun would it have been to win so easy... oh wait, a lot!

STUPID planteaters. oh well i had another plan that was sure to succeed


plan 2

operation: great wall of BC

objective: to surprise assualt enemy defensive wall

procedure: sneak up on wall and climb it!

planned implementation: 1200 hours


1206 operatives using extreme caution and stealth (like batman!) were able to faint retreat, and sneak into forest to approach enemies flank.

1212 enemy fortifications detected, and within strike teams projected attack vectors (that's military lingo for... uh you know classified type stuff).

1213 enemy peripheral defenses tripped. team caught in midst of gorilla ambush (it was actaully a lot more electricity... though the switch could have been thrown by a damn dirty ape!).

1246 yet more casualties were identified in aftermath of this defeat. operative codenamed shortterm memory lost in action...


man i'm getting sick of this electrocution thing! man these guys are good. planting electric weeds! wonder how much those seeds cost them, and how hard they are too grow?


plan 3

operation: trojan town

objective: build replica dinotown to lure enemy out their position

procedure: build my own way cooler dinotown, and

when locals of real dinotown go to move in, i get into their dinotown

implementation: 1400 hours

1405 contact local design, and develop blueprint of planned decoy location. also contracters and workers are hired to build neo dinotown

1415 all nessecary plans and people are in place. construction on neo dinotown begin

1535 constuction on neo dinotown complete.

1547 no sign of enemy reconnaissance. however a bus of swedish tourists arrive to check out neo dinotown due to the big sign

1555 strike team approaches enemy fortress, and begin loud casual conversation about "new better then the old dinotown". enemy commications intercepted in which enemy expresses how neo dinotown is too commerical and touristy, and thus they will stay where they are.


okay so maybe i shoulda thought this one through a bit more before i spent my whole life savings and took out 3 bank loans on this new town... one the plus side the swedish bought 4 t-shirts for $19.99 a piece. at that rate i should be outta debt in a thousand years!


plan 4

operation: stringray (coolest operation name ever!)

objective: to scale the protective fence around enemy stronghold

procedure: climb the fence

planned implementation: 1600 hours


1602 operatives were able to sneak up on enemy position with relative ease... agent codenamed common sense has vague feeling this is all too familiar...

1605 after initiating operation team meets predictable resistence.

1606 operative codenamed dignified pride declared killed in action...


right the electricyness of the fence...


oh man this is no good! i'm outta plans people of the innerweb! unless a movie type miracle happens i'm not getting into dinotown...

so rambo should show up now with a boozeoka and fix this... okay now!... now???

1 comment:

Kirstin said...

tee hee