5th hatching day...

[Production Note: Please just imagine we got this up a month ago on time. Thanks- Prehistoric Insanity Productions]

Wow a whole year gone, and another hatching day is here again... can you believe, people of the web wide world, i'm 5 years old!

five years to this day i was found by my discoverer, and soon legal guardian, craig... which brings up all sorts of emotional type stuff people of the innerweb.

just the story surrounding my actual discovery makes me feel all sorts of things. i only know bits and pieces of the tale, and it really raises more questions than answers any.

the only concrete fact i know is that craig was definitely out prospecting for fossils. okay and that he was searching around huxley alberta.

the rest is kinda dodgy on reliability. craig mentioned something on my last hatching day about being out looking for lost quarries (those are fossils digs for which no location was recorded. the location information is very important these days for palaeontology), but i'm not sure whose old dig or why. the most puzzling part of the tale i've got is from a photograph of craig's expedition in which craig and my JERK! of a cousin larry are in the badlands searching together (or at least based on the photo their out together!)???

than of course is the whole question of why my egg was there at all... okay obviously it fossilized, but i wonder why it wasn't a normal fossilized egg... how did it become a vivus-fossil (as professor paradigm calls us prehistoric critters who should be extinct but yet have popped up here in the present)?

other emotional things are stirred up too though, leaving me with plenty of guilt and shame. after letting larry talk me into being as big a JERK! as he is, i totally brushed off craig in the middle of his trying to help me resist the pack of the primordial feather. afterwards when i went to try and apologize for what i'd done i discovered craig had disappeared from new zealand entirely!... i have no clue where he went or how to contact him. i just really want to patch things up with my legal guardian. he is the only family i have.

fortunately i have a lot of friends on the innerweb, and in particular facebook who helped cheer me up, and distract me from all the mystery of my hatching day. among those nice enough to give me a nice shout out (or would that be type out?) were:

the most intelligent brain... er i mean brian from one of my favourite blogs Laelaps.
my great virtual buddy glendon from The Flying Trilobite (i'm not as he is virtual whether he himself if a flying trilobite or not... so to be on the safe side i included this picture that could be of him and his family) wrote this nice little message.

Happy Hatching Day, Traumador! Eat lots and lots of meaty cake!
from my special talent agent peter bond i got this:

"It's your party/you can hatch if you want to/hatch if you want to hatch if you want to..." but seriously, HAPPY Hatching DAY, Traum-baby!

You're one more year older and one more year wise....um, one more year making money!

K... Read More eep it up, Big Man, and we'll be swimming in the green stuff by your next hatching day!

Your Talent Agent,Peter Bond, ATA

i also got a message from someone i'd forgotten about, and haven't talked to in way too long (not that i really want to...) agent hamilton of the new zealand department of conservation.

Traumador, I see from your personal file that it is the anniversary of your hatching day today. I'm wishing you a happy birthday from the Department of Conservation.

I also have reason to believe you are not currently in ... Read More the country, and that you have not been in Dunedin at your job or abode for several weeks. Be aware that your status as an Extracontinental Organism requires that you inform the Department of Conservation immediately of any changes of address or movements around the country or abroad. I have had reports of sightings of a small dinosaur as far north as Whangarei. There have also been worrying reports of unusual lights and creatures in areas you have been seen. Please advise me immediately of your return date. I will need to see you in person to discuss these issues.

Yours sincerely,

Agent A. Hamilton Department of Conservation
oh boy... i'd totally forgotten about contacting agent hamilton about my whole new zealand wide museum quest adventure... she was really annoyed last time i left my home in the botanic garden without informing her! that time i'd only moved a block down to avoid a week long flood. what about this time months and months out of dunedin, and now new zealand!!!
i need to remember to phone her.
the weirdest thing though people of the web wide world...
i got a hatching day present!
now don't get me wrong, i know that people get presents for their birthday all the time. i'm not a person though. typically the only person who would get me anything would be craig. again he's gone bye bye. furthermore no one knew i'd be going to australia for my hatching day (especially me!!!).
yet it arrived for me at the hotel i'm staying at none the less. no name. just a card telling me to enjoy the present. no name or even return address on the envelope.
my present. i can hardly believe it! a plane ticket.
you're never going to believe for where to though people of the innerweb...
DRUMHELLER canada!!!!!!!!!!
i haven't been back "home" in over almost two years now. to be honest it is definitely the most memorable thing anyone has ever gotten me.
i can't help but worry though about it at the same time. who sent it to me? why? HOW?
at the same time it might be nice to go visit all my old friends back where i grew up. i have a ton of stories and adventures to tell them about!
though the one person (well okay dinosaur) who i want to see more than any is here in melbourne now! more to the point i have a date with her tomorrow!!! so i'm not going to worry about this plane ticket till after my DATE WITH LILLIAN the ALBERTOSAUR!!!


the big picture (new horizons part 1)

now as you know people of the innerweb i've had a rather interesting year so far. mostly on account of work... in fact VERY much so because of work.

when my boss ms. rhonwyn gave me a promotion a year ago (due to my being able to put up with my JERK! of a cousin larry's visit) i had NO idea what i was in for...

back in canada at the tyrrell museum life had been pretty normal for me. in fact almost boringly so! most of the time i just sat around pretending to be a statue (so i didn't bother the guests by talking to them...). apart from my brief gig hanging out with the museum's summer camp (which was primo fun! i'll have to post about it sometime) i always knew what to expect.

at first working at the otago museum was the same thing. being a security guard is pretty predictable. so when ms. rhonwyn made me her personal assistant i just thought it'd be the same. a low key repetitive task... man was i wrong! (don't believe me check out the museum quest she sent me on ALL over new zealand!).

the scary thing is she just offered me ANOTHER promotion... what on earth could this lead too i don't know?!? as if being chased by maori gods wasn't crazy enough!!!

of course the other big thing was not only did she just offer me another promotion. i just found out that ms. rhonwyn while here in australia (during my whole museum quest adventure) has made a ton of new dinosaur friends and acquaintances.

including one dip serendipaceratops. who in some ways is probably the most amazing dinosaur i've come across over the years. she's not just a museum exhibit or resident... dip serendipaceratops is an actual PHD candidate. in other words not only has she somehow gotten into skool, but she is going to be a real scientist soon!

can you imagine it people of the innerweb?... maybe not easily come to think of it. for you its probably normal for someone to at least potentially do anything they want.

for us dinosaurs still left alive in the cenozoic things are not quite that easy. you're best hope is to become a movie star or a museum's key attraction. even then you're at the whim of your popularity with the human public. if they lose interest you're back at the bottom. that bottom being a pushed around part of a museum's collection or worse a under appreciated spectacle of some tourist town or theme park...

yet here is dip rising above all that to something resembling a human being. imagine if her example takes off? i've always dreamed of becoming a curator someday. maybe with someone like dip pioneering the way that'll be possible for me someday.

at the same time i really don't like her. now don't get me wrong people of the web wide world. i appreciate what dip is doing for my kind. at the same time she is really mean. frankly i don't really like mean people (or dinosaurs... does anyone?).

anyways i'm way off tangent. point being that now dip is hanging out with my boss ms. rhonwyn, and their working on sciency type stuff together (though what sort of science ms. rhonwyn does is beyond me). i don't like it. with my brain size problem, and dip being more legitimate i am going to level with you people of the innerweb that i'm worried that ms. rhonwyn won't have a use for me anymore. even despite her offering me a promotion today.

right the promotion!

so ms. rhonwyn had taken me away from dip and the other aussie dinosaur of the melbourne museum to the human half of the gallery. here she wanted to discuss my future. or at least that's what i thought at first... it turned out she more wanted to wrap up the museum quest once and for all.

she brought me to a display of aboriginal australian baskets... but i at first glance i thought they were maori flax baskets... or as the new zealand brand are called kete among which were the kete o te wananga which i'd carried all around new zealand...

seeing these i kinda freaked a bit! i was SO not going on another museum quest!!! no matter what she offered me, i was going to tell ms. rhonwyn i quit that instant. there was no way i was going to be hunted by anymore angry deities EVER (so i hope anyway...).

ms. rhonwyn just laughed when i refused to transport any of these baskets. "no, no silly," she giggled. "the kete o te wananga are gone for good thanks to you. there will be no more quests like yours ever again."

"have there been any before?" i wondered out loud.

ms. rhonwyn frowned a bit at the question as though i'd hit a sore point... seriously i hadn't meant too. seriously! "no," she answered simply, which answered my question, but ms. rhonwyn sounded as though she thought this wasn't enough for some reason. she took in a slight breath thinking of how to answer further. "the truth is though, traumador, there should never have been a need for your quest. if the kete o te wananga had been left in the care of the maori as tane had intended then none of this year's debacle would have occurred."

"though we don't understand the exact timing or nature of their origin, the kete o te wananga appear to indeed, as the legends say, be the source of all maori mystic knowledge. whether how they ended up in the possession of the maori as described in stories may well remain a highly debated question among mystical scholars. all we do know is that somehow three immensely concentrated chunks of mystical gradient essence were endowed within three flax kete with the purpose of fostering and powering maori magics."

"wow," i said impressed. that was cool. somehow in the distant past the maori had taken pure magic from beyond our world and trapped it in something they had made to harness the power for their betterment and use. normally a story like this would have been a bit above my head, but somehow i already knew the story... i'd touched this power first hand so in a way i was now a part of this story... the end of it.

ms. rhonwyn took my comment to be a sign of boredom or something and changed her train of thought. "anyways," so i'm not the only one who can go off topic like that! "as the maori's culture succumbed to european expansion into the country, eventually the three kete were acquired by various new zealand museums. the kete tuauri [basket of benign magics and the occult] was purchased in 1896, the kete aronui [magics beneficial to humanity] traded to the fledgling otago in 1900, and the maori successful hide the kete tuateu [basket of harmful and "black" magic] until 1956 when the faithful guardians finally passed on with no heirs. can you believe in the end that one of the most feared artifacts of an entire culture was simply donated of all things?!?"

"with the kete out of the protective care of their creators the maori they simply sat on display or in collections across the country collecting dust" ms. rhonwyn grew sad, "a true waste. on all fronts. the maori had relied on them for centuries. so it was a real loss for them, and to the world's knowledge as we didn't learn a damn thing from them till it was too late."

"the whole time they leaked and oozed their high level mystic gradient radiation. under the watchful eye of a tohunga [maori shaman] these residues would have been contained and hidden. we idiots of the west just held onto their treasure because that's what we do. hold on to treasure. never bloodly learning why it is treasure! i thought i'd made the discover of a lifetime last year when i connected the three spread out baskets to their true identities."

ms. rhonwyn turned to me sympathetically. "my own quest to find the baskets was why i was away so much of last year."

"of course i did this only to find out that they were being sought by things of a otherworldly nature, and more than likely not too friendly a disposition."

"as you now know traumador, you leave a trail of mystic gradient radiation lying around, and something is going to pick it up. i realized quickly that the baskets were no longer safe in our realm. if they were to fall into the hands of mystic creature in our dimensional plane the results could be unimaginable," she cautioned. though i could imagine it. i'd seen ghostbusters, and i had nothing with which to cross the streams! "the only solution was to re-disperse them to the magical realms from which they came!"

"there were tales among the tohunga of the ill effects of taking the kete close to places of great mana [maori concept of power and supreme presence]. thus why i had you go to the places you did. i figured either the locations of maori reverence or their artifacts of old might have enough power left in them to tigger the baskets."

"why me?" i asked.

ms. rhonwyn frowned, clearly feeling as though she'd let down more than me by not taking the baskets around NZ herself. "because i had no choice," she admitted. "the league couldn't make up its mind as to whether dispose the baskets before a threat or after."

"the league?" i asked completely confused and excited. did she mean the justice league?!? wow i soooooo wanted to meet superman!

crushing this hope of mine ms. rhonwyn looked at me puzzled for a moment. "the australasia heritage league," she declared. when it clearly didn't ring a bell she looked at me bewildered. "your current employer?"

"the otago museum?" i answered her with a unsure question. wasn't the museum who i worked for.

ms. rhonwyn looked more baffled than before. "you haven't worked for them officially since last year!"

"WHAT?!?" i thought and said at the same time... how could that be?!? i'd been getting pay checks from them this whole time... or had i come to think of it. apart from two pay checks i'd been out of town on the quest, and i hadn't paid (pun intended i guess) that close of attention to my checks at that point.

"traumador i only work out of the otago as my base of operations. my duties with the league take me all over the region of new zealand, australia, and further. as my personal assistant you're in the same boat," she informed me.

i was still reeling from the news i didn't work at the otago. "this league, they aren't top secret are they?" i asked expecting yet another palaeo central story with more things lurking in the shadows and everything...

"no hardly," ms. rhonwyn laughed. "its quite public knowledge that the various museum, universities, and other research institutions of the southern hemisphere have tried to work together to safe guard the various historic and heritage resources we possess down here. its just a question of how successful we've been."

"the kete being one the first of what will surely be, sadly, many challenges we have in this regards," she sighed at some unknown to me knowledge of hard battles and decisions coming up. "a clear issue like them, and the league has no idea how to react. that's the problem with noble intentions. they sound good till you find out everyone has different ideas and degrees of nobility."

ms. rhonwyn turned to me earnestly. "which is why i'm offering you this new promotion. you won't just be my reserve assistant anymore traumador. you'll be an actual field agent in the thick of new zealand's historic resources."

"you mean like a researcher?!?" i jumped in the air eagerly with excitement.

"well i wasn't going to mention that part till we had a chance to sit down and really figure this out. to be honest the league has no idea what it is doing. i forced this kete mission down their throats, and having been proven right i might be able to form more policy of a proactive nature. which might than allow me to get you in a few places you'd never think possible," she answered me smugly, but cautioned. "at the same time that is a big maybe. i've got a few things to sort out, and you have a lot to learn in the meantime. for now i just need to know traumador, are you able and ready to take a more active role in the finding, collecting, and protecting of ancient materials?"

it was a dream come true. maybe all this exposure to dip wasn't such a bad thing after all! "you bet!!!" i nearly shouted with excitement.

"excellent," ms. rhonwyn smiled. "well in that case i have some paperwork to process. we'll discuss your new position in depth, once i've figured out exactly what it shall be," she smirked. "in the meantime have a relaxing evening. i hear you have a BIG day ahead of your tomorrow," she winked at me and started walking me to the door.

tomorrow was indeed a big day! i had my date with lillian albertosaur!

not just that now my career within the museum world might actually take off and lead somewhere! instead of looking forward to being just another attraction i might actually get to be one of the thinkers of the research world!

i won't lie people of the web wide world, today i feel like anything is possible!


i remember why i moved to new zealand!!!

(From Ms. Rhonwyn's personal diary)

Seriously where is Traumador?

It's been over 3 hours since his check up with Professor Paradigm. I've not only had the time for Lillian the Albertosaur to find me for a chat, but for Paradigm to also come and give me the checkups results!

One of the benefits on my extended visit to Melbourne has been my chance to meet its local Dinosaur residents. I was aware of museums elsewhere in the world having employed the few living Dinosaurs still alive to work at their institutions in efforts to increase museum attendance. Traumador himself has told me a great deal about his former home in Canada the Tyrrell Museum having such Dinosaurs.

Despite this awareness, it came as a surprise when I learned of Australia's current vivus-fossil program [traumador encountered part of this program here]. With its very ambitious goal of having a Dinosaur in every Australian museum be 2010. Considering the rarity of local Mesozoic material, that alone vivus-fossil specimens, I'm very skeptical of it succeeding.

Yet at the same time here in Melbourne the piloting of the program has yield very positive results so far. Results that I am happy to say I am now a part of. Ever since my encounter with Traumador's cousin, I've been aiming to increase my interactions with Dinosaurs. I think I can safely say that the Melbourne vivus-fossil attractions are now among my friends.

As of such I called in both of them in and asked them to help track down my wayward Tyrannosaur. Both of them being who (what?) they are and of course Australian, were more than eager to please! Off they ran into the museum determined at nothing less than finding me Traumador, and bring him to check in with me...

[End Entry]
3 hours earlier...

man oh man i still can't express how much i HATE medical checkups people of the innerweb!

at least it was over, and now i could get ready for my date with lillian albertosaur!

there was only one thing left to do here at the museum, and that was check in with ms. rhonwyn so i could hopefully check out right away! i had a lot of stuff to prepare for tomorrow.

of course there was just one problem. how to get to ms. rhonwyn?

now don't get me wrong the melbourne museum does not have a very difficult to follow layout (unlike te papa in wellington). however professor paradigm had hauled me up to the top floor which i had not explored at all. there wasn't a whole lot up there... well okay other than a human brain display. which i won't lie to you people of the world wide web, didn't interest me at all. last thing i want to learn about is how much smaller and primitive my brain is than a mammals!...

i had no clue how to get to the museum's temperate forest gallery from where i was.

there was one benefit though. i got to check out the balcony above the dinosaur hall. from here i got a pretty up close view of the mamenchisaurus. when in the last 145 million years has a theropod managed to get this high up a sauropods neck when it was in the air? (well if sauropods could lift them this high in the air. scientists can't decide if they could or not. i couldn't say myself. we t-rexs didn't really have sauropods to hunt!).

from the dino hall (once you skipped the demeaning human brain display) you end up on this upper causeway. as you can see it doesn't have a whole lot to engage visitors, but it did have a glyptodon to engage me.

which was sweet as! i'd never seen one before!

though i usually find mammals very boring, but glyptodons are just really neat. their the mammalian tank which is a crazy set of adaptation. there have been all sorts of times this has convergently (that is to say coincidental) evolved. everything from fish, reptiles, dinosaurs, and mammals have produced heavily armoured herbivores (well okay and in the case of the fish predators). i do have to note though scientifically i think the armoured dinosaur ankylosaurs were cool, i'd never admit that in public (uh again anyway!) as my kind had the misfortune of running into them in the late cretaceous.

so after checking out this rather sweet (cast) skeleton i pushed on to try and finish up here at the museum for the day...

turns out the forest is what this "empty" section of the museum was. only, here on the second floor you're above the forest, so they put in the glyptodon to tide you over while you're switching upper sections of the museum.

great so the good news i'd found the forest... the slight bad news, i was directly above it and had to figure out how to get down to it.

again because they have a fairly straight forward layout here in melbourne it didn't take me long to get down to the forest level.

it was pretty cool in here. just like my old home the cretaceous garden in the royal tyrrell... only this place was about a million times BIGGER!!!

funny enough just like the cretaceous garden and the tyrrell this place ALSO had dinosaurs in it! definitely not something i was expecting...

the first was the lambeosaur that had been accompanying professor paradigm when i first ran into him earlier today.

immediately i couldn't help but notice, again, how this duckbill's entire hide was covered in scars. all of them clearly from theropod attacks... what had happened to him? (i initially guessed he was a him as it can be hard to gender us dinosaurs. however based on his bright colouration i was pretty sure he was a dude... hadrosaur males tend to need to be pretty flash to attract girlfriends).

i decided to try and be polite. "hey. it's nice to see another north american here down under. you won't happen to be from alberta would you?" i inquired. though most lambeosaurs are from my neck of the woods in canada some have been found in montana and even mexico!

he turned his head in a very aggressive manner towards me... though not directly at me as hadrosaurs eyes don't both point straight forward like a t-rexs or a humans... as though he was threatened by me. confirming this, he started to breath heavily through his nose causing loud sounds to emanate through his crest (that whole ornament on his head though shaped like an axe is actually more like a hollow horn that connects directly to his nostrils making his entire skull one giant musical instrument!)

"do not come any closer to me primordial feather!" the lambeosaur ordered. his voice confirming he was a dude.

ah, now his being threatened made sense. he thought i was one of my JERK of a cousin's cronies for the coelurosaur only club the pack of the primordial feather. "i'm not in the pack," i tried to assure this stranger.

"yes, so you have claimed, but you aren't fooling me like the professor tyrannosaur," the lambeosaur coldly stated.

i was stunned at this reply. maybe due to my small brain or just the plain surprise of an accusation 2 seconds into a introduction i tried to backtrack. "i beg your pardon," i requested. "i think you have me mistaken for a different tyrannosaur." maybe one of larry and teresa's offspring i thought. they'd still be small juvenile sized tyrannosaurs, and thus look like me.

"i work for paradigm, traumador. i assure you there is no mistake. i know all about you," his eye narrowed in on me suspiciously. "already among vivus dinosaurs you are becoming famous as the one tyrannosaur who defied the pack. what a perfect little deception you and your masters have created. send the most pathetic of you out as a spy on the rest of us. i don't believe it for one second."

i was both shocked and suddenly really angry at this duckbill. to be fair some of that rage was caused by my tyrannosaurian instincts welling up for a moment (i for a second planned out how to bring him down and eat him... creepy. that kind thing is hardwired into me?!?). he had not only called me a liar, but implied i was nothing more than a puppet of my cousin's.

so he worked for the professor, big deal! i know lots of dinosaurs who work with palaeontologists and researchers. "yeah so who cares what you think duckbill!" i dismissed him, and started to try and walk past him.

he lunged slightly forward, causing me to yelp and jump back... yes not the bravest move i admit people of the innerweb, but look at it from my point of view. he's a fully grown lambeosaur at 14 meters long compared to me at mere single meter! i won't even go into the weight difference. the point being i had something the size (though not as heavy) as a skool bus coming at me. that's a bit scary!

"i am lance, traumador," he informed me in a somewhat arrogant manner if you ask me. i didn't ask him for his name. "though you may not have heard of me, you're kind certainly has. they have left their marks upon my hide. something i'm sure you'll understand i do not forget easily. tell the leaders of the pack i'll be warning the ornithischians of the world about you. the ruse will soon be over."

with that lance the lambeosaur marched off... okay i never thought i'd say this, but i'd just met a dinosaur who just matched larry in JERKiness!

though as he walked by i got a close up look at the scars on lance. holy crow. some theropods sure did do a number on him! he is lucky to be alive based on what i saw.

some of the marks could not have been left by anything but a tyrannosaurid. lance had nearly had his spine crushed at least twice by one of us by the looks of it, and these close misses had left damage none the less. there were some clear dromaeosaur attacks among the scars too. the rest i wasn't sure of. i'd only really had contact and knowledge with coelurosaurid killing tactics in canada growing up. definitely some other types large theropods had had a go at lance, but i couldn't be sure which. probably allosaurids, abelisauroids, or carcharodontosaurids but i again am not sure...

he was lucky to be alive. seriously he should have played the lottery or something. he'd survived no less than 10 major assaults on his person (or is that duckbill?) based on my quick glance at this scarred body. so maybe his dislike of me and my kind was justified. at the same time i still didn't like him!

not that my next dinosaur encounter went any better...

i wasted a long time stewing about lance and he's ubber hatred of tyrannosaurids. this distracted me from focusing on finding ms. rhonwyn, and it turns out i walked around in a circle for over an hour!

as i resumed trying to find ms. rhonwyn (and my way around the forest gallery) i entered a cool stone enclosed path that led to some displays on the waterways of australia.

it was here i bumped into another dinosaur. a neoceratopsian to be specific... though i made the mistake of thinking it was a protoceratops. a mistake i'd learn when i again tried to be friendly... which i have to say sadly i may stop doing. which is too bad, because i think a world without friendliness is a world not living in...

"hi there!" i started off. "i'm traumador the tyrannosaur. who are you?"

the "proto"ceratops cautiously replied. "dip." a female based on the voice. dip was a little concerned by my being a theropod (instinct is instinct afterall) but she was no where near as agitated as lance had been.

"are you here with the annex corp exhibit?" i asked thinking clearly the only way an asian dinosaur would be here in australia was with a travelling display.

"no," she answered shocked in a very condescending manner. there was a pause. i had no idea what to say in response. as though she thought i wasn't capable of any thought at all, dip added. "i'm a researcher here at the museum."

what and WOW! that was something i'd never heard of before! sure lots of dinosaurs like lance work with researchers, but never, not once, had i even heard of the idea of a dinosaur doing research!!!

"that is awesome!" i enthusiastically said. my dream had always to become a museum curator someday. if this dip was saying what i thought she was saying than there was a chance that maybe i could one day!

sadly i let me imagination take over my tiny brain, and i didn't think about what i said next. "i've always wanted to study palaeontology too! how did you start? in mongolia? or did you have to goto china first?" i asked thinking that of course as a protoceratops, dip would have been from mongolia. however due to mongolia's being not the richest country in the world she may have had to goto nearby china to get started on her scientific career.

she just starred at me contemptuously for a moment. "what ever are you blathering about?"

i hesitantly mentioned her being a protoceratops to which dip harshly corrected me. "a protoceratops?!? do you know anything? i am a serendipaceratops!"

stupidly playing into her accusations of being dumb, i babbled out. "a what?" not because i didn't know what it was, i'd just learned about her kind in the dinosaur hall, but because it's quite the mouth full to say. try it yourself... seren-dip-a-cer-atops.

she rolled her eyes in perfect human fashion... the first dinosaur i'd ever seen do this apart from me! "before wandering around a new country try acquainting yourself with the local inhabitants rather than trying reassigning them to places you are familiar with!" she than started to talk like what i picture an encyclopaedia would sound like... you know if it could talk. "serendipaceratops, australia's thus far only known native ceratopsian genus. though initially only known from partial fossil remains the discovery of, my, vivusly preserved egg added a great deal of insight to the species. this egg, specimen BA 4204, was the first vivus-fossil discovered in australasia..."

"wow how do you remember all that?" i eagerly inquired, and also kinda interrupted dip. which come to think of it probably made me look dumb... again!

even though i've read TONS of dinosaur and palaeontology books i can never remember that much detail. i remember the gist, but the tiny details always ooze out of my brain.

"remember that?" she asked as though she couldn't believe i'd asked it. "and you said you wanted to study palaeontology? you'd never be able to manage a basic degree that alone a PHD if you can't retain that level of information."

what? did she just say PHD. "you mean you're an actually palaeontologist?!?" i ignored the insult she'd just given me.

for the first time dip the serendipaceratops was slightly humble and modest. "not yet. i'm just a PHD student. hopefully in another year i'll have my doctorate."

"how did you get into university?" i wanted it know.

"i applied for it. now if you'll please excuse me i have a friend to meet," dip cut off the conversation and walked away.

it was about here that i remembered all the problems i'd had with dinosaurs over the years. the dinotown incident in particular came to mind. there were so few places for us dinosaurs in the human world that we all had to compete with each other way more than in the mesozoic. considering all the art out there of prehistoric dinosaurs clawing and killing each other it's hard to imagine us modern ones being worse, but trust me even if we're not actually killing each other we are. if we could kill each other it be a great life as sick as that sounds...

i was starting to yearn for good old dinosaur-less new zealand (well okay the south island anyway). meaning i should meet up with ms. rhonwyn not only so i could prepare for my date with lillian (the one dinosaur in the world i still wanted to see!), but also so i could ask her how and when we were going to get home to dunedin.

within seconds of dip rudely walking away, two very energetic voices came from above me.

"dip certainly didn't take a shining to you," said one voice. immediately it was followed by another. "no she most certainly didn't."

it was a pair of hypsilophodontids who stood on the rock wall above me. they must have just arrived as i hadn't noticed them there while talking to dip.

"great," i thought out loud. just what i wanted to put up with after the last couple hours, more dinosaurs!

"oh not to worry mate," one quipped. "we're not grumpy know-it alls like dip." the other followed.

"so than you'd be what?" i crankily asked starting to resume down the path. which of course was rude of me, but that was the point. i really should have done a three strike system on being polite. it turns out i would have won here...

blocking my route suddenly, the two hypsilophodontids leapt down from up top in front of me. "oh telling you would be no fun," the bigger one said. "i don't really feel like..." i started, but the other one cut me off. "just be a sport and play the guessing game. it's not like we're challenging you to something hard like rugby or anything." than as you probably are predicting people of the innerweb, again they traded speaking roles and the first one added. "it'll make you feel smart after having dip tear into you like she did."

stopping to think about it i realized they were right. it was not a hard game, and starting to think of my guess i did start to feel a bit smarter.

based on some of the slang they'd been using it was clear they were from the southern hemisphere. now as new zealand hadn't produced any dinosaur eggs i'd heard of, that meant they were probably from here in australia. than it occurred to me that i recognized them... from TV no less!

"you're the leaellynasaura from walking with dinosaurs aren't you?!?" i asked as i made the connection.

"guilty as charged. i'm boom," said, well boom. "and i'm rang," followed rang.

"now don't you feel heaps better?" boom asked.

"a bit to be honest," i admitted.

"no worries mate. dip is a little full on. to be honest she doesn't get along with most at the best of times. that alone theropods," rang assured me.

"we'd apologize, but to be honest we don't like her much either," boom dismissed her.

"wait, aren't you guys a little put off by my being a theropod?" i inquired.

"no," rang laughed. "if you were one of the bad ones you'd have tried to eat us by now."

"we only just met," i pointed out.

"exactly!" boom agreed. "a dangerous theropod wouldn't have waited for us to show ourselves. it'd have hunted us down first."

"besides your reputation precedes you," rang exclaimed. "traumador the tyrannosaur. the first true blooded tyrannosaurus rex to oppose the pack of the primordial feather!"

"you obviously haven't been talking to lance," i grumbled.

"you ran into lance too?!?" boom stated. "no wonder you're so late!"

"late for what?" i asked.

"meeting up with your boss," rang replied.

"you know ms. rhonwyn?" i asked shocked.

"oh yeah," boom answered. "we've been hanging with her a lot the last couple months. a good true blue aussie that one!"

wait ms. rhonwyn was an australian? i'd never caught that. oh uh! i'd always just assumed she was a kiwi cause she was working at the otago!

"come on she's been getting kinda bored and sick of waiting for you," rang informed me, and they took off back towards the inside of the museum.

"what did lance want with you?" boom inquired curiously.

i informed them of my encounter with lance.

"wow, if not for the fact he doesn't like you, you should feel lucky! lance doesn't talk to many, and those that he does are usually important," rang related.

"important to what?" i asked confused. since when were dinosaurs ever considered important? the only time i'd seen it at all was when larry's visit to dunedin had caused an uproar with the unprepared kiwis.

"you know," boom paused as though scarred. "the dark side of palaeontology."

"dark side?" i repeated sceptically. "you mean like dark vadar and star wars?"

"no no no," rang countered. "the negative side effects and consequences of fossils and palaeontology. you know the stuff like illegal fossils trading, rogue research, and us dinosaurs forming secret groups like the packs."

when i was a young hatchling, my legal guardian craig had warned me of such things. they'd always scarred me, but i'd thought they were overplayed into ghost stories (come to think of it i happen to know ghosts are real... so it only makes sense the dark side of palaeontology would be true too).

"why would a hadrosaur be interested in that?" i inquired. especially a hadrosaur who seemed to get in enough trouble with us theropods?

"don't you know anything?" boom demanded... great just when i was starting to like these two they had to go and start sounding like dip!

"know what?" i grumpily grumbled.

"who professor paradigm is!" rang commented really weirdly.

"the world expert on vivus-fossils," i echoed what the professor had told me himself during my checkup.

"not just that... he's the head of palaeo central!" boom revealed.

"what's that?" i instinctively asked, not that i was seeing the reason for the hypsilophodontids' fear of the subject.

"its the initiative entrusted with the monitoring and defence of fossils and the science of palaeontology," rang whispered.

a million thoughts and ideas went through my head upon hearing that description. the foremost of all was my realization i may have heard of it before...

when craig confronted larry in dunedin the only reason craig wasn't a t-rex snack was that he threatened larry with something he called "central". was this the same thing? than that would mean craig hadn't just been telling me stories when i was a hatchling... he might have been telling me about his real life!?!?!

rather than ask that outright about craig as they probably didn't know him (though they did know ms. rhonwyn come to think of it...), i asked the leaellynasaura one of my other million thoughts. "who works for palaeo central than?"

"that's the thing no one knows," boom stated. "there's no question that it exists, but somehow it keeps to the shadows of the palaeontology community. lurking unseen in the world's museums, universities, and fossil sites invisible. yet every present."

okay so we'd gone right past ghost story into a fishing story.

rang got back to my question by explaining. "what boom was getting at, i think, is that palaeo central appears to have people, and probably dinosaurs, situated in key places throughout the scientific world. who they are, and how their brought into central isn't advertised. all that is public and official is that professor paradigm launched palaeo central a while back. though he's never said it, i think it's safe to say lance the lambeosaur is pretty high up in the organization. what being paradigm's personal assistant and all."

wow today was seriously getting to a point on the epic weird scale i haven't ever reached before in my life... and i was being chased by a maori god not all that long ago i will point out!!!

boom got himself a little less crazed and added. "every year tons of big fossil crimes go down, and we're talking fossils of every kind including us vivus ones! at the same time a lot of them miraculously get thwarted at the last moment. according to the news or official records the wrong doers were stopped but the key details on how are always skipped over. that's central covering its tracks disappearing into the shadows again. every time palaeo central somehow steps in and stops it though. if you ask me its reassuring knowing they're out there watching out over us!"

we spent the rest of the time walking through the museum talking about this mysterious palaeo central. in the end i couldn't get anymore useful information about it though. the leaellynasaura didn't know anything more, and were kind of frieghtened and in fan boy awe of it all at the same time... they just knew that it seemed to be international, secretive, run by paradigm, and boom kept insisting it was lurking in the shadows.

i had serious questions over it though compared to these two. not whether it was in the shadows... was craig in it? or had he simply name dropped with larry as i had about paradigm? if he was than maybe paradigm would know where my legal guardian had disappeared after i'd attacked him for trying to help me with larry... i wanted almost nothing more (other than success with lillian tomorrow) than to apologize to craig for what i'd done to him...

i wasn't going to get an answer today... we finally made it to ms. rhonwyn. for a moment i thought this day was trying to kill me!

sitting down beside ms. rhonwyn was none other than my new "friend" dip the serendipaceratops.

"there you are!" ms. rhonwyn sounded annoyed, bored, relieved, and ecstatic all at once.

the leaellynasaura jumped in to tell her my excuses for me, which gave my reasons more of an air of legitimacy. dip angrily glared at the two hypsilophodontids when they relayed her part in my being delayed word for word. i now scratch my yearning for dinosaur-less new zealand people of the innerweb. boom and rang are officially dudes... i think. come to think of it i never did figure out if they were boys or girls! oops! anyways i like the two of them a lot now!

"well after hearing that you're out of trouble," ms. rhonwyn winked at me, as she told me this more for the benefit of the eager leaellynasaura who happily started bouncing around thinking they'd saved me from some terrible fate.

"as for you," ms. rhonwyn turned towards dip. "i would very much appreciate it if you were nicer to my employees. i wouldn't want to have to speak with your supervisor about professional conduct."

dip shifted in a very embrassed manner, though on her tiny frame it looked quite energetic compared to what i was used to. i'd only dealt with true huge ceratopsians, not smaller primitive neo-ceratopsians in drumheller. "i apologize," she said to ms. rhonwyn, but not me.

though she was proof that what i wanted in life might be possible, i wasn't too keen on this serendipaceratops so far...

"well i must be off with my man traumador here," ms. rhonwyn informed all the surrounding australian dinosaurs. "dip i'll see you later tonight to discuss that paper. boom and rang i'll be coming in, in a couple days from now to say good bye so make sure you're findable please. no more adventures in the air ducts till after i fly off please!"

with that ms. rhonwyn walked me off towards the human history half of the museum.

"you know dip too?" i asked shocked. ms. rhonwyn had told me when larry had visited i was the first dinosaur she'd ever seen or worked with.

"i know a lot of dinosaurs now traumador," she assured me. "you've met them all now. their just the ones here at this museum, but i'm hoping through my job and you to meet a lot more in the future. at the same time you're the most important one to me by quite a bit."

"really," i said embarrassedly and unbelieving.

"remember that promotion i gave you a year ago?" she asked me.

"yes," i answered. how could i forget it. without it i'd never have ended up here in australia!

"well its nothing compared to what i'm about to offer you," she told me with a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

to be continued...


Boneyard 23 is up

be sure to check out the latest boneyard up at zach's always fun site when flying pigs return.
[Production Note: We at Prehistoric Insanity apologize for the HUGE delay currently going on here at The Tyrannosaur Chronicles. Due to the hectic schedule of travelling not enough time has been available to finish any new posts (though we have them started). Expect them to resume in the next day or two.
Though this delay has not been ideal for either ourselves or you our readers, we assure you that the Traumador photos and storyline that will emerge from this trip are among his best ever! So please bear with us another couple days.
Thanks Prehistoric Insanity Exec]

A Stroll Through the Museum Forest

(From Ms. Rhonwyn's personal diary)

Where to start. Obviously the fact that Traumador managed to dispose of the kete o te wananga safely is a great relief, and the biggest success of this year. Actually that is an understatment. The greatest success of my career.

Though I'm finding his actual presence here in Melbourne the greatest relief of all. I still feel extremely guilty that duty pulled me away from New Zealand when the crisis unfolded. More to the point I'm not sure why the Australasian Heritage League would not allow me to rendevous with poor Traumador and help him with the task. All the more reason I've felt so much better since he made it here safe and sound (at least I hope safe and sound at moment not having heard back from Paradigm yet).

I must say Traumador has surprised me greatly with his performance. I was expecting him to be something of a barely capable fool, and granted the fact he opened the baskets against specific instructions initially confirmed my fears. In the end even with a level 3 mystical entity trailing him, he somehow prevailed.

Indeed most surprising. The timing couldn't be better though. The field position has been vacant for too long. Coupled with the companies considerable escalation in New Zealand I need someone I can trust to help counter their efforts. Hopefully Traumador will be willing to take up these new responsibilities.

Reminder to self: I must remember to begin filing the paperwork with Otago [Museum] for Traumador's immediate reassignment.

[End of this entry]

[New entry from later in the day]

I've forgotten how much I enjoy the Melbourne Museum. It has been a long time since I have been able to just simply enjoy being home in Australia. This museum is definitely one of the reasons I miss home.

For example the Australian temperate forest gallery in the heart of the museum has been a treat this afternoon. Being able to wander this seemingly natural space while waiting for Traumador and Paradigm to conclude has helped put my mind a bit more at ease. Sadly not completely though. I must admit I'm very anxious about the results. Traumador exposed himself to such high level of mystic gradient radiation that I fear the side effects could be dire.

My worries about what could be happening to my poor Saurian employ occupied much of my time in the forest gallery. That is until mid afternoon a unexpected visitor allowed me some distraction.

Lillian the Albertosaur had sought me out during her afternoon break (I must say I highly disapprove of her current job!). She had come to inquire some more about Traumador. Naturally I was more than willing to tell Lillian what she wanted to know in hopes of getting some gossip!

Come to think of it, Traumador probably has no idea that I'm now capable of slightly understanding rudimentary theropod language. Not the complex dialect of Tyrannosaurids mind you, but the simple universal speak that all theropods have in common.

I wonder what Traumador would have to say if he knew I'd been in correspondence with Professor Paradigm since my encounter with his cousin Larry last year. I had so much wanted to meet more Dinosaurs since Traumador started working for me. It is just I hadn't considered how much more intimidating and frankly frightening a fully grown Theropod would be in comparison to the very harmless and pleasant Traumador. With the help of literature and instruction from Dr. Paradigm I have been able to gain a fairly good grasp of basic Theropod (further aided by my skill with languages).

I was excited to get some more practise with listening to the language. Despite the fact I couldn't speak Theropod (due in part to lack of proper vocal cords) Lillian has a firm grasp on English. Which funny enough she too can't speak. Making our conversation no doubt quite odd or amusing to the casual observer!

Lillian wanted to know more about Traumador's exploits in New Zealand (I had of course given her a few brief stories when I first learned that she and Traumador knew each other a few days ago). She seemed very fixated at first with the visit from Larry. A situation to which I was not privy to many of the details to. Traumador had kept much of this "ordeal" to himself. As I understood it, Traumador blamed himself for the departure of his guardian Craig due to his conduct during the visit. Sadly due to my work obligations I was out of the country and thus unable to be there for Traumador, and learn more about this situation.

Lillian seemed worried by my reporting the departure of Craig. She informed me that she too knew this man from her time back in Canada (I personally had never met Traumador's guardian). Oddly she asked if Paradigm had any information on Craig's whereabouts, to which I did not know.

We than entered a topic I was most curious to learn about. Traumador's intentions toward Lillian. The only time I'd ever heard of Lillian from Traumador was while eating lunch with him once last year. I'd asked him about his hometown, and in the course of his answer Lillian came up many times. In very complementary terms too. Though he hadn't specifically stated it through the number of times she came up, the affectionate nature of his remembrances, and he's caginess about key details I gathered he had a very big crush her.

After relaying this theory to Lillian I suddenly felt a little guilt. Poor Traumador hadn't meant to give those details away. It's just that due to his upbringing by humans being contrary to his Tyrannosaurian nature (I now know through both my time dealing with Lillian and Larry) he often gives away things in the most cute of manners. Very much like a child, which I guess isn't to be unexpected considering his age. Oh that reminds me.

Reminder to self: With Traum's birthday this week make sure to pick him up a present tonight.

Fortunately Lillian already knew of Traumador's affection for her. She informed me of his apparently uncalled for and awkward advances on her in Canada 2 years ago. Granted I suspect he was not as rude or brash as she presented it. Paradigm had warned me theropods (especially big ones) often conveyed events they didn't find favourable in a very self serving manner.

She'd directed our conversation this way to find out what I think she'd wanted to know all along. Whether Traumador still had these sort of intentions towards her or not. I wasn't sure how to answer. Clearly in my opinion he did. Especially considering the big (cute) hug he gave me after his reunion with her an hour ago.

I just didn't want to betray his sensitivities. Given that from what Paradigm has told me Theropods will exploit such shows of "weakness", and thus be very brutal to one another. At the same time I didn't want to give Lillian a false impression. Otherwise I'd be setting up a trap for both of them if and when Traumador made his move.

So I opted to give her a conditional response. Stating I believed he was still interested, but that I was not certain. To this she surprised me. I had assumed she had no interest in him what so ever. Instead she asked me for my opinion on him as a "potential mate".

Needless to say I was astounded, and didn't know what to say. It would be a hard enough question if one of my human friends asked me her opinion of a boy. That alone a predator species known to use potentially lethal force on one another in disagreements.

I opted to tell her his accomplishments, including the new promotion I was hoping to add to his current one, rather than his personal characteristics. Again Traumador is rather human in a number of his qualities and values, and I'd rather Lillian judge those herself through her own Tyrannosaurian filters.

She seemed satisfied with my reply, and said she looked forward to seeing Traumador tomorrow. With that she thanked me, and excused herself in order to get back to work.

I'm uncertain as to whether I helped him or not. With my human friends I like to think I'm quite good at "girl talks", but I have to say "female talks" are a whole new frontier for me. I can only hope Traumador luck for tomorrow.

[End of this entry]

[New entry from later in the day]

After nearly two hours one of the two boys came and found me in the forest. It was Paradigm with Traumador's results. I braced for the worst.

As the good scientist that he is disclaimed his current results as simply initial impressions. He would have to take further time to assure his hypothesises. Naturally I agreed with him. Not that I doubt his current judgements. He is the top specialist by far when it comes to vivus-fossils.

Much to my surprise he had almost nothing but good news. The primary of which being that Traumador was in no immediate danger. At least not from the traditional threats of overdosing in MGR.

The professor was rather excited about his new findings in fact, and was eager to ask my opinion on a number of aspects of MGR. As this is one of my own specialities from my earlier career (the fact that he knew this however was a concern to be looked into later), I was happy to venture the answers that I could.

What I heard intrigued me. From what Paradigm could ascertain Dinosaurs did not react to magic anywhere near the way mammals do. This was a fascinating development. Little work has been done on none human species reactions to MGR, and this case could open up a whole new field of research!

In humans magic coats the outer surface, and thus exposes the "victim" to a multitude of dimensional hazards as outlined by modern string theory. However in less technological civilizations and cultures there do exist individuals with both the skills and training to physical manipulate these energies and channel them in a more controlled (though not necessarily dangerous) manner. Typically in modern Anthropology we refer to these MGR manipulators as Shaman, Witch Doctors, or Priests. Of course use of such unreliable and often perilous power diminished in face of growing abilities in man made and controllable technology.

Paradigm's findings are indicating that Traumador has instead somehow absorbed the Gradient, and thus is now something of an organic MGR detector. This would make sense based on Traumador giving accounts of mystic mechanics only previously described by authentic cultural magic users. In essence due to the radiation being distributed throughout Traumador's system he can now feel shifts in the mystic gradient around him the way an average person feels a change in the air around them caused by wind.

Though this removed many of the risks a human might face with such a high exposure it presented different problems for Traumador. Paradigm believes due to the incredibly slow rate of radioactive dissipation his instruments recorded, that Trauamdor's body won't discharge the MGR to a safe level for another 150+ years. Meaning that he will have this condition for the rest of his life.

Even without the dimensional risks a human would face, Traumador is now going to be more likely to experience mystic phenomenon. Also due to his full MGR saturation these phenomenon will be more able to interact with him. Meaning in essence the random tiny Mystic Gradient flares that occur everyday that the average person would be unaware will effect Traumador. I will have to be careful to keep on eye on him to see how bad this potential problem turns out to be.

Than came the true surprise of the conversation. Paradigm was naturally eager to publish these findings in a paper, but much to my surprise he asked if I'd be willing to coauthor it with him! Not only was it an extreme honour for a researcher of his prowess to ask me, but he acknowledged me as something of an expert. I naturally was very excited to participate, and gladly accepted the offer.

With that much like Lillian, Professor Paradigm said he had elsewhere to be, and just departed.

My walk in the forest had been a very eventful one to be sure! Maybe I was a little hasty previously in saying that this was what I missed most about Australia. Frankly I'd never had such an interesting string of conversations in the middle of a museum before.

It was here I realized, why had Paradigm found me first? Where the heck was Traumador?