the price i pay...

i forgot how much i liked vancouver.

as far as human cities go this one has to be among my favourites. especially at night...

can you blame me really? it is just so pretty at night.

as much as i would have liked to just linger and enjoy the coloured darkness of vancouver i had business to attend to.

that business being the dinosaur OH-lympics organized by my special talent agent peter bond. he'd summoned a bunch of other dinosaur from around the world and wanted us all to compete against each other in some winter sports...
`

the problem is i had no idea how or why.

`
peter organized a meeting to discuss just that. funny enough he picked the same place where we first met, and i signed him on as my special talent agent...
`


i immediately complained how peter hadn't given me any notice before committing me to these "OH-lympics" of his. "traum, baby when you're dealing in the world of talent and fame you have to be ready to react to opportunities in an instant," he tried to assure me.

`
"what about the opportunities in new york?" i demanded.
`

"ah yes, new york," peter paused, as he seems to a lot, and after moment. "though new york was defiantly chance for lillian to regain her status as a museum attraction. it would have been just that, regaining. she'd have been nothing more than she was before. lillian would be just another dinosaur in a museum. these olympics could very well catapult her to a whole new level of stardom and fame. besides you were getting nothing out of our being in new york."
`

i was getting lots i thought! i was giving the girl of my dreams happiness and a chance at the life she'd always wanted. through that i was hoping i'd gain a lot more. her heart namely! not that these OH-lympics were hurting that plan, i had to hand it too peter. if anything this put me in position to collect on my winnings if they were to be had!
`

that and it would be nice if things were to go my way too!
`

good now that i had that rant out of my system time to get to these OH-lympics.
`

peter outlined how he was hoping to run several events for us dinosaurs. some of them i'd heard of like ice hockey and uh... okay ice hockey was the only one i'd heard of. i am a canadian dinosaur afterall :P
`

some of these other ones though... figure skating, whats that? the skinniest on the ice wins? cross-country skiing, man why couldn't he have organized that in a nice small country like new zealand? canada is way to big to ski across! ski jumping sounds silly. even i know that skis aren't alive or have legs capable of jumping! curling just sounds like we're all going to get sick tummies! bob-sled takes the cake as the sport that sounds the most ridiculous! none of us dinosaurs are even named bob, why not dino sled or saurus sled... oh wait sledosaurus!
`
peter then grabbed my glass and clanged his own into mine... i'm not sure why. he called it a toast, but i KNOW that happens to be a breakfast with bread (something i would never have! it would make my carnivorous tummy upset). "here's to the olympics!"

still not sure what this had to do with breakfast toast, i asked. "where's to them?"

"what?" peter asked me back.

"you said 'here's to the OH-lympics', but that doesn't make sense. they're not here now, and you didn't give me proper directions to where they're going to be," i pointed out, not sure why this was confusing peter... though i guess if he always gives bad directions like that he might not understand my problem.

peter just laughed. "good one, traum," i just blinked. "okay never mind," peter dismissed the whole conversation. "moving on then."

i saw a good point to bring up something i'd wanted to say in relation to the OH-lympics. "it sure was nice of the city to let us host the games here," i complimented our large host. "you must have asked them really nice."

peter chuckled confidently. "nothing says please like several thousand dollars."

i paused thinking about that for a second. "where did you get that much money?"

"from you of course," peter pointed out.

"WHAT?!?" i yelled.

people from all over the restaurant started to look at us really funny. "finish your drink, and calm down!" peter instructed me as he looked frantically around worried about all the probing eyes.

as i angrily chugged on my vanilla cola, peter anxiously sipped on his drink, a metro something or other. i'd given peter permission to fund a world tour for him and lillian. i hadn't given him permission to use my money for funding big sporting events!

i didn't have that much money to begin with... just a museum security guard's meager savings.

peter finally finished, and more to the point was comfortable that no one was watching us argue anymore. "look big guy, i know it sounds like a lot of money, but you can't make money if you don't spend money."

"i wasn't wanting to make money!" i stated. "i just wanted you to make lillian famous again!"

`
"not want to make..." peter couldn't believe his ears.
`
"what have i been paying for?" i wondered outloud.

"nothing much," peter started. "just the application of a event to the city, renting the venues, insuring the venues, the flights for all the competitors and their coaches, renting a TV studio and equipment, oh speaking of which i'm going to need to buy a suit for when i am doing the play by plays, hiring an artist to make the games logo, and..." he looked up to my glare. "well you get the idea traum."

"how much do i have left? " i demanded.

peter looked sort of sheepish. "not much."

"how am i supposed to get back to new zealand and my job?!?"

"ah now there you have nothing to worry about," peter tried to calm me down. "see with all the marketing tie ins i'm hoping this will generate we'll see you getting double your investment back out of this little venture," i didn't look convinced. "come on traum, with all big name museums i'm drawn into the games how can we not make a mint?"

i just looked away overwhelmed. a tiny part of my tiny brain had wondered if it was a good idea to give peter total access to my money... now i knew!

noting my concerns peter tried to summarize. "look traum, i know this looks like it was a waste of your money, but i assure you i've only spent money where it was absolutely needed! from here on in we won't spend anymore unless it is absolutely necessary!"

i'd paid for the whole thing to happen, but for what reason? simply to make back what i'd spent on it in the first place! there was no guarantee with all these other dinosaurs around me and lillian would come out as the stars of the whole thing. more to the point, what did peter consider absolutely necessary spending?

as if to answer my question fireworks broke out on the harbour! oh man, i better not be paying for those too!!!

`
peter noticing my anxiety. "oh yeah, i forgot about those."

what am i going to do people of the innerweb?... especially now that we were in the thick of it all. i couldn't pull the plug now can i?

next: preparation for the first event!

pain in the neck!

after all the stuff peter has had me up to with these OH-lympics of his, i haven't had much time to myself.

so today i decided to sneak off and check out vancouver a little bit on my own.

holy smokes! i have to say there has been a lot of change since the last time i'd been here in town!

a weird forest made of paper had grown in the middle of downtown... which i thought was really weird. isn't paper made from trees? not that other way around.

not that i had to worry about this problem for very long!

you see despite sneaking off by myself, i hadn't planned to stay alone. hanging out with peter the whole time so far, i hadn't had a chance to properly catch up with who i'd really wanted too...

that was of course the theropod of my eye... lillian the albertosaur!!!

i'd paid for her and peter to go on a tour of the world, in an attempt to get lillian famous again (she'd been fired from the tyrrell like me). the last i'd heard from the two of them (before we all suddenly showed up here in vancouver anyway) both of them had been in new york city... which led me to the natural question. why weren't they still there anymore?

not that i was in a hurry to find out. i just enjoyed the stroll through the paper forest (though seriously what is up with it?!?) with lillian!

our destination was the beach front in west vancouver. the last time i'd been here, had marked a major shift in my life. i was kind of hoping for that again. only this time with lillian involved. oh and nose snuggling (a theropod's version of kissing... on account of our lack of proper mammalian style lips), lots of nose snuggling!

this time around i couldn't help but notice the giant inukshuk that stood by the beach. according to the arctic house, these big stone statues of people are the symbol of the OH-lympics. so i guess, despite not knowing what these OH-lympics are about yet, there is a connection between us dinosaurs and the OH-lympics for peter to try and make. inukshuks are made of stone, and we dinosaurs are found in stone...

which didn't really matter today!

i was for all intents and purposes on another date with lillian!!!

unlike all my other dates with lillian, this time i'd overcome her dislike of me. heck last time i saw her, lillian had given me a small nose snuggle! the equivalent of a human peck on the cheek, maybe not a full on smooch, but considering she tried to eat me the first time i asked her out... i was possibly really close to making lillian my mate!!!

of course one can't just rush into these things. especially since we had a lot of catching up to do. i'd had all my adventures in drumheller and calgary to tell her about! lillian thought they were quite amazing, and didn't entirely believe me in parts (especially dr. paradigm's kung fu!). not that i blame her, but they were the only stories i had to tell. believable or otherwise...

as for her adventures, i was surprised by what i heard. as far as lillian could tell peter had pulled them out of new york for no reason at all. she'd been a big hit in the american museum of natural history's galleries. peter had maintained that lillian was a welcome addition to the museum. yet lillian leveled with me, peter had always seemed to be constantly arguing with the museum's staff about something. though she couldn't figure out what about, as the staff was really nice towards her (and usually peter... just not when he talked to them about one thing things got a little tense).

oh well. i trust peter with making lilllian famous again. what else are special talent agents for?

with the catch up complete it was now time to try and win over lillian's heart. the problem is i don't have a whole lot of experience with wooing the ladies... so i had to kind of make stuff up.

humans are all about touching and stuff, something we theropods aren't naturally all that into. physical contact usually means we're having problems with each other, and will lead more often to a fight then a date. still sadly i'm more human in some ways than t-rex. so i tried something i'd seen humans do on the TV a few times.

i started rubbing lillian's shoulders. at first she didn't notice, on account of how light i am in comparison. if you think a human shoulder can be tense, wait till you try a full grown tyrannosaurid one! as i worked my full weight into the task of massaging lillian she began to notice.

at first i worried i'd anger her, but much to my surprise lillian was really enjoying the neck rub.

"oh my," she said rather blissful. "what are you doing?"

"its called a massage," i informed her, almost panting. it was a ton of effort to smooth out muscle bundles that were as big as me!!!

"i've never had anything this amazing before," she said arching her whole front half into me, so that i could work deeper into the muscle.

okay so now we were getting somewhere! now i just had to think of what to do after this... though for the time being the neck massage was going so well i could just continue while i tried to think of my next move.

i'm sure i would have thought of something, but the most unexpected thing ruined the moment. a number of scents had been gently rolling in from behind us. i'd been trying to ignore them and focus on the great moments i was having with lillian. especially as i figured like most weird smells in the big city they'd fade away.

however these smells didn't go away. if anything more of them started to build up. finally one particularly good waft of wind caused both me and lillian instinctively raised our heads. "are those..." lillian started to ask, but before she could finish we both looked up to the obvious answer.

all around us were a bunch of other dinosaurs!!!

a few of whom i knew, but most i didn't... not that it mattered.

all that mattered was that they'd all just interrupted my best date with lillian yet! the worst part, i didn't even know why. though i had my suspicions that peter knew a thing or two about it...

next: let the games begin!

a blazing start... (Oh-limpics Part 1)

[Production Note: Please pretend we'd managed to get this post up 4 days ago like we'd planned. With the creative team busy helping Traum have his current Vancouver adventures at the real events, we haven't had a lot of time for blogging. So please enjoy, and stay tuned for upcoming live posts that will be up with current events at the 2010 games!]

my special talent agent peter bond, had called me up and given me an HOUR to get to the airport in calgary. doing so, i suddenly found myself in vancouver again... it has been a long time since i'd last been here!

why i'm here, i can't say. peter insisted it was an emergancy, hence the last minute flight over here. i was worried something really bad had happened to lillian the albertosaur, who i'd entrusted peter to look after.

what had me the most confused was last i'd heard from both peter and lillian they'd been in new york. what were they do back in canada, and on the opposite side of the country?

peter had left me some pretty speific instructions on where and when to met him. i had to race straight there from the airport upon landing to make it in time mind you. good thing i didn't have any luggage (either to bring here or pack in calgary! i won't have been able to bring in either case!!!).

"glad you could make it!" peter greeted me as i walked up to him.

"i didn't have much choice did i," i replied. for an emergancy peter was seeming pretty happy... "what happened to lillian?"

peter looked confused for a moment. "the emergancy you brought me here for," i tried to prompt him.

"oh no, lillian's fine. in fact she's better then fine. they love her at the japan house!" peter proudly declared. i wasn't following a thing he said. "though speaking of that emergancy, thanks for reminding me!"

he beckoned me over to a red carpet. "welcome to your welcoming here at vancouver traum baby!"

i didn't get it. i told peter so. "what's not to get?" he thought i was joking.

"i'm not famous," i answered. "why would they put out a red carpet for me?"

this seemed to offend peter to an extent. "well to start off with, you'll never be famous with that attitude. think you're a super star traum, and you will be..." he zoned out for a moment looking about, as though he was worried people would be watching us. "as for why the red carpet would be out for you. well they may not have technically put it out for you," he side noted out loud. "but one can always come up with a reason after the fact to make it so it should have been!"

with that peter snuck off... snuck off on an empty red carpet mind you. which i found a bit weird. at least all the people who'd been checking it out (whoever had been on it) earlier had all left the carpet, and so they didn't see how silly peter looked sneaking on a red carpet. there wasn't a person around us, everyone was lined up on the sidewalk looking for something that must have been coming down the road.

suddenly peter reappeared, trying to hide a really big white stick (thingy?).

"what's that?" i wondered.

"a torch," peter informed me. though i didn't quite follow him. was it a torch torch like those sticks people lite on fire in the olden days? or was it a flashlight and just called a torch (like in new zealand) to confuse me?

"what's it for?" i tried to find out.

instead of answering, peter shoved the wand stick thing into my arms. "here take this!" i instinctively grabbed it so i didn't drop it and scuff its pretty white polish.

flciking a futuristic switch on the torch, he caused it to suddenly burst into flames! i nearly dropped it out of surprise.

"there we go," peter said statisfied. "time to make history..." he suddenly shooved me towards the road. "run traumador! run along the red carpet as fast as those little t-rex legs will take you!"

not sure what to do, other than follow peter's instructions, i took off down the carpet. i'd only run a few seconds when i suddenly hit the wall of people lining the sidewalk. the red carpet ended on the road, and i needed to get through to get there.

"uh excuse me," i asked politely of the many backs that were turned to me. "excuse me, please! this stick is getting kind of hot!"

one of the dudes in line turned to me looking annoyed. yet his face changed to absolute delight when he saw the white wand i was holding. "the torch is back here everyone!" he screamed, causing everyone to turn around. upon seeing me the crowd all broke out into massive cheering, and they all parted like one of those magic doors at the mall!

with them out of the way i jogged out onto the road. okay peter, mission accomplished. the whole mob of people lining the street was still chanting and cheering, but i couldn't tell what i was supposed to do.

as if that were bad enough, suddenly a police car came up behind me and flashed it lights at me. oh man, i was in the middle of the road... i was breaking the law! they were here to arrest me i realized!!!

hoping for mercy, i held up my hands along with the torch above my head. nothing happened for a minute. till finally the police officer stuck his head out he window. "what are you doing?"
i blinked blankely back. "yes very good you found it! i can't believe you lost the torch in the first place! we're late now. getting running."

"where?" i had to ask.

"that way," the police officer pointed the way he was driving irritatedly. i turned around to find i was facing an ocean of humans. as far as i could see the road ahead of me, were people lining the sidewalk. all looking my way. holy smokes!

suddenly the siren of the police car behind me blared to remind me to run. so i followed orders again and started down the road. as i went everyone within closeish range of me began chanting, calling, and cheering. it really was quite empowering. i felt really cool right then.

peter meanwhile was doing his best to keep up with me running and fighting his way through the crowd. the whole time estatic at what i was doing... not that i got what it was i was doing, or why peter would be happy with it?

after a few blocks of the amazing crowd response an obstacle came into view. a bunch of trucks and buses all parked up ahead on the road. they were mostly blocking my route. i wasn't sure what to do and slowed to a jog.

my slowing down allowed peter to properly catch up to me. through the noise of the crowd he yelled to me. "lite the other torch." the crowd had grown my excited as i got closure to the jam of vehicles, and they droaned out the rest of peter's instructions.

torch? what other torch? then as i closed on one of the buses i thought i saw the solution to my current problem. on the side of the bus was a painted man holding a proper torch (i saw proper, as it was one of those old fashion stick kinds you see in the movies called a torch... unlike the futuristic wand i currently held).

this must have been the other torch peter had mentioned. so i held my torch up to the side of the bus...


next thing you knew the whole side lite up in flames. brilliantly bringing the paintings torch to life! i can totally see why peter thought that would be awesome.

the crowd didn't think so though. suddenly their loving cheers turned to boos or angry yelling. several of them ran out, and tried to put out the flames with their jackets.

peter cringed. "oh boy!" he said nervously. "this is not good at all!"

during the chaos my mistorching had caused, a bunch of people were running down the street after me, and we now closing due to my stopping.

one was a dude in a white jump suit who when he spotted me from a block away yelled. "there's the guy who stole the torch!"

what? how dare he accuse of that! i hadn't stolen anything here in vancouver. if he thought he was going get me in trouble for... oh right. peter!

as he got up to me the white suit man snatched the flaming wand from me. "how dare you run my leg of the relay!" with that he ran off the way i'd just been going...

another guy in a red jacket that said security on it leaned towards me. "if it weren't against the spirit of the olympics, i'd report you to the police, man. that was so low, stealing the torch!" with that he wandered off, leaving me not sure if i should feel bad or guilty about the whole thing... whatever it was?!?

as the security guy stormed off, peter snuck up to me. "phew, that was a close call," he said relieved. "that could have turned out really disasterous."

"if only you made it half a block more though," he mournfully stated. "we would have made all the 6 o'clock news with that stunt. and after all that trouble i'd gone to, too steal that torch!"

i just looked at him scorningly. funny how it was me who was getting in trouble so far for this whole "stunt" of his. i didn't even know why it could have been disasterous! "peter what's going on?"

"its the olympic relay here in town today," peter stated rather excitedly. "that means all the fun and games start now!"

"the OH-limp-picture what?" i demanded.

peter just stared at me for a moment in disbelief. "have you watched the news even just once in the last little while?" i blinked. "oh, man. traumador... welcome to the winter olympic games."

"okay," i said trying to absorb that. "what does any of this have to do with the emergancy you phoned me about?"

"what does it have to do with the emergancy?" peter parroted my question mockingly. "traumador, the olympics were the emergancy i was calling about! they are only the biggest event in the country this year. if you're not here, we can't use them to make both you and lillian super famous!"

as if agreeing with what peter said, the crowd just down the street what way crazier then they had before.

the white jump suit man had run up to another guy who was like an exact copy of himself right down to the same wand stick. the two white suited clones touched their torches together, transfering the flame of mine old torch to the new guy's. with that the new guy started running in the same direction i'd been going, and the crowd's happy response followed him...

"oh see," peter said frustratedly, as though i was following his logic. "had that been you, we would have made the top story across the country. maybe even the world!"

so peter had hauled me all the way to vancouver for these OH-lympics to try and help my career... i could see the emergancy in that. at least from his point of view. it is what i'd hired him for, in this very city, 3 years ago!

i suddenly had multiple chills of excitement. peter had implied lillian was in town with him... meaning i had every chance of seeing the girl of my dreams again! more to the point if i could pull off what bond had just mentioned, i could save her career and make her the star she deserved to be!!!

based on the power of the emotions people were showing just a few minutes ago towards me with that torch, there was every chance peter was right. these olympics might just have be the thing me and lillian have been waiting for!

to be continued with the OH-lympic games!

the future?

67.2 million BC

i spent the majority of the day wandering through the rest of vancouver... can't say whether it was nice or not. my heart just wasn't into it.

so Larry was right. this isn't the land of prehistory. not the REAL BCs... rather just a human place with a convergent name (i'm so sad i'm not getting big words wrong... oh man). i've wasted 2 whole months pursuing a imaginary goal...

the moral being so far i haven't managed to fit in with other dinosaurs yet. we t-rexs are not popular based on our virtues it would seem. just our scariness, and you're not scary if your not big...

the first spot i hit that snapped me out of my gloom was a beach. the sun was setting over the ocean, and all the ships off in the distance... what a majestic sight to see!

watching the reflections of the sun in the water i pondered my life. compared to this i was nothing. i'm an insignificant speck in the universe. even just this ocean goes on for as far as i can see, and there is a lot more out there then just it...

you'd think in a world that big there'd be a place for me out there...

i mean there has to be a place somewhere that needs a t-rex. or even just a dinosaur... if only i knew where that was...

as i stand here gazing across the colossal sea i can't help, but feel that over the horizon lies an answer to my existence...

what i do know is this. i can't stay here in the BCs... the trip (espeically that fake dinotown i built) has left me broke. even with the salary i'm still getting from the eco centre won't be not enough to pay for my living here...

i also still haven't found my roots. i don't care if i can't find out what it is too be a true dinosaur anymore... so far they've all been jerks or worse. that and we dinosaurs are extinct everywhere on the planet with minor exceptions in museums and shows apparently...

i DO still want to find out who i am and where i came from...

there is only one place i can goto find that out...

looks like i'll have to go back to where it all started... drumheller... while i'm there though it can't hurt to see if the dinosaur boom has busted, and who knows? maybe there'll be an opening for me when i get there, and i can resume my old life!

well people of the innerweb i'd say this concludes my quest into BC... now i return home!

lonely road

66.4 million BC

well naturally today was not such a fun day. i'm in fact very bummed out. no bummed isn't the right word...

everything just seems kinda of pointless...

peter said i needed to cheer up. he's taken me to "drown my sorrows". i told him i wasn't in the mood for swimming... he said that wasn't the plan. we were going drinking... these must be pretty big cups if we're going to drown... be easier to just go swimming, i'm a lousy swimmer

well it's a really nice place that he took me too. a restaurant on top of a tall skyscraper... you can see the whole city from up here.

i just wasn't in the mood for refreshments... they taste funny, and make me feel even dumber then normal...

peter said as my agent he won't let me go till i let some of my sadness out somehow...

that's when i noticed the piano in the middle of the joint...

i decided that would be the best way to let out some of my angst... i played the one song that seemed the most appropriate... boulevard of broken dreams... got a bit of a crowd watching me too!

peter said it was really good, and that managing talent this great he's job was easy... though if i'm that great how come none of the other dinosaurs want to hang out with me?

then peter dropped a big bomb...

due to the responsibilities of managing his clients, and their major distribution across the world peter was going to have to leave vancouver... more so he was leaving canada altogether!

right when i thought i had some backup in face of all the stuff going wrong in my life...

i'm right back where i started before my BC quest. homeless. alone. and confused

what now?!?!? (65 million BC part 5)

65 million BC

last night was so miserable! one of the worst nights i've ever had. making it worse i was hanging with my own kind...

after my fight with Larry things were pretty awkward. all these other dinosaurs are used to Larry being the undisputed boss, and a beloved public icon. my coming in and confronting him made these guys all uncomfortable around me...

that and i don't speak their language...

so at least here this morning peter showed up, and set out to try and salvage the situation...

well again peter's the bestest agent ever! however it seems there are limits even to his talents...

he tried to negotiate both with the owners of the dinosaur show and Larry to see if there could be a spot for me in the displays...

after an hour or so he pulled me aside and levelled with me

"look traumador baby, here's the thing. they have a position for you, and their even willing to pay you at a tyrannosaurs pay scale..." he started, but then he glanced around to make sure no one was listening in. peter started whispering "but frankly you don't want it... the key word in that sentence is scale. they'd pay you a salary 1/20 of Larry's. honestly traumador you couldn't afford to even survive in this area of vancouver on that much..."

peter said it was looking kinda bleak. i was naturally a little bummed. peter tried to remotivate me by reminding me of the venture pact. "seriously traumador... there are better places out there for you then here."

where?

he had no answer for me... peter said i'd have to figure that out for myself. he'd help me anyway he could, but in the end he said this was something i'd have to find for myself...

so that is the end of it people of the innerweb. my quest to find my kind in the BCs is officially over...

what did i get out of the trip... discovered that the BCs are not my homeland... i still don't have roots... i still don't fit in with other dinosaurs... i still haven't found what i'm looking for...

where do i go from here. i don't know. all i do know is that i must leave this 65th million street of BC. it just reminds me of my failure in my quest...

confrontation! (65 million BC part 4)

65 million BC

people of the inner web i'm not believing my luck these days!... well more months then days really... ever since the end of summer technically...

reaching the cradle of dinosaur kind what were the odds of my big shot Cousin Larry being the guy in charge of the place! seriously what are those odds, and why didn't i bet on them!

i wasn't about to let him steal another of my dreams again! there was no way he was going to prevent me from living here at 65 million BC, but i could see it in his eye that he was going to be a jerk about it (like he always is...).

well when i walked up to talk to him Larry started to laugh. "hi there cousin. how have things been going?" i tried to lie and say good... "really. that's not what your blogs been saying" oh man! that's not good... Larry wasn't supposed to have known about my blog...

since he's read the blog it made it easier to ask if i could stay here...

"are you REALLY that dumb traum? this isn't the cretaceous period. that was 65 million years ago... not 65 million blocks into british columbia!" he said snidely.

oh no! he was right... i remember that now... AHHHHHHH!

wait a minute i thought though... why are he and the dinosaurs here then. this was obviously a trick or something of his...

"traumador didn't you read the sign out front?" Larry said while laughing at me. "this is a travelling dinosaur display from china. it is not a permanent settlement or reserve for dinosaurs. we're extinct most places now."

okay i now i had him... "if it's a chinese dinosaur display why are you here then Larry? you're from alberta like me!"

he just cackled... which is a scary sound from a big t-rex. "traum... traum... traum. this is show biz, and nothing sells more then having a star in the show."

i couldn't think straight... everything wasn't making sense. this wasn't the true land of dinosaurs. Larry had taken everything away again... then Larry added

"your poor poor mother though traum. i don't look forward to telling aunt huxley how dumb you really are..."

well i'm not too proud of my response to that low blow, but Larry brought my mama into this. you leave the mothers out of these things. so i kinda attacked him...

okay i bite him in the neck... kinda a low blow in and of itself, but he's really really big... YOU TRY JUMPING FOR HIS EYE YOURSELF!!! THEN YOU'LL SEE!!!

anyways i sadly didn't do much damage... and well he's kinda a monster (as we t-rex are)... so he easily shoke me off, and he wasn't even mad or angry... he was kept on laughing

"ah that was cute. would you like me to bend over so you can do that like a real t-rex?" he mocked. "i'd bite you back, but i'd eat you in the process, and aunt huxley won't be too happy with me. for her sake i'll let you stay the night, but then you're out of here!"

i'm not going to lie people of the innerweb. i'm crying right now...

right now i'm wishing that Larry's work in king kong was real... then he'd have been killed by that big dumb ape!!!

so turns out i'm back where i started... i don't know what i'm going to do again...

though i have help now. i just called peter, and he said he'd get something in place for tomorrow... i'll have to hang out here at LARRY'S place, and wait till then...

not quite what i expected (65 million BC part 3)

65 million BC...

okay now i'm really weirded out by what i'm finding around here. not only is there no jungle rather badlands, but now there is a dinosaur museum too!!!

now i may have the brain the size of a peanut, but even i know that dinosaurs didn't live in museums! well except those outside of the BCs. oh and those in the BCs... wait a minute...

just look at this! is this what you pictured the mighty thunder lizards coming from?!?

it's just like the tyrrell 2: deja vu


i happened upon a hadrosaur which i thought was from my neck of the woods, edmonton. turns out this was no edmontosaurus though... he informed me he was from overseas, from china, and not to call him by that name. rather he is a shantungosaurus apparently (though as far as i can tell there is little difference between the two!)

i told him about my quest to get here, and he said that was "super"... i thought that was a little strong a word (cause hey i'm no superman!)... he told me i'd have to check with the star of the attraction to see if i could join with the dinosaurs...

what is with us dinosaurs? this is turning out to be just like dinotown! since when have we dinosaurs needed to ask permission and be officially accepted to be a dinosaur?!?

i'd used too much time getting here to fight about it though. i was going to do things as they do them here at 65 million BC... though it's not feeling all that different from the tyrrell...

well the problem was figuring out who the star dinosaur was... i checked with the alxasaurus figuring since he had big wolferine type claws he must be a real hit. cause i mean i've seen that movie X-People, wolferine is the closest superhero ever!

it wasn't him though. however that's about all i understood... my chinese isn't too flunent you see. the only reason i know it wasn't him was he used those claws to threaten me away after asking if he was the star... whoever it is even wolferinesaur is scared of them...

with that in mind my next choice had to be the pinacosaurus then... cause lets face it who won't be scared of a tank! this guy is packing heat in the form of the tail club, and covered with armour so he doesn't have to take gump in return! we theropods know better then to mess with one of these guys... grownup anyways (but man as smaller guys their tastey!)

again he wasn't the star! a little confused. though in his case he asked if this was a trick, and if the star had sent me... not sure what that means?

looking around i was starting to get more confused too. ALL these guys were chinese dinosaurs... now i'm not a racist mind you. i like dinosaurs no matter where their from. i was just finding it odd that all the dinosaurs in the BCs where from over there...

where were some north american types that i might know?

well turns out there was a north american dinosaur here. in fact i know him RATHER well... which makes this all the more unfortunte...

i should have realized that the star had to be the king of the dinosaurs. which of course would make it one of my fellow tyrannosaurs. i was hoping to meet some new tyrannosaurs... i got half my wish as it turned out... just not the half i wanted... you see the star dinosaur turns out to be my COUSIN LARRY!!!

now for those of you who have never heard of my cousin larry (which i think is a pretty hard!) he is the famous member of the tyrannosaur family... he had a luck break into hollywood some years ago, and has been making quite the killing (both literally and metaphorically) doing movies and shows as well a t-rex.

he's most famous role was of course as the tyrannosaur in jurassic park.

which brings us to my connection to larry... you see he wasn't the only one who tried out for that part! i was in the running for it too! they choose him over me in the end though due to "his immense size, and authentic terror" compared to my "tinyness"... it's like they say. hollywood only goes for the most perfect of us...

not my fault i'm only two feet tall while larry if 40 feet long! jerk!

anyways ever since then me and him haven't been on such good terms, and well he was the LAST dinosaur i was ready or wanting to meet here at 65 million BC...

i'm not letting him bully me out of my dreams again!

a REAL meal!!! (65 million part 1)

65 million BC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh boy! oh boy! i can't believe i'm here at last! as you of course know people of ciderspace i've been looking for this place for over 2 months!

so here we are the 65th million block of BC. not quite the decor i was expecting for dinosaurs. i'm no where near a forest or jungle. the aquarium was a more prehistoricy a looking place. i had no idea we dinosaurs come from such an urban background...

it's off to a great start though. coming around lunch time, and right here on the street is a fleshy, fat, plump, and lazy triceratops! sure can tell i've left the human world (well minus the skyscrapers, sidewalks, roads, and pedestrians). here in the dinosaurian BC it's hunt or be hunted, live or die, regular or diet...

no matter their philosophy around here i got a free lunch! for a dinosaur in our native habitat this steak put up little resistence. not that i'm complaining. i was just expecting a bit more of a primal struggle like in the movies!

well as i sit here blogging and digesting i'm getting very excited. lunch has truely shown i'm where i should be! time to go explore, and be a natural dinosaur!

darth. no (undercover part 2)

64.64 million BC

today has to rank as one of the craziest days of my life, and as you know people of the innerweb i've had some pretty crazy days recently!

the plan was to release lobey back into the wild of the BCs. i'd gotten my boat, and i'd made the arrangements with the aquarium to have lobey shipped to the peer so i could set out.

there was just one problem i was worried about lobey's enemies using this as a chance to attack her. who they were i wasn't sure. why they'd want to get her i didn't know. was i being paranoid? well i was going with my gut feeling, and the answer was no... (superspies always follow their gut feelings in the movie, and are right!)

so i had to get from the boat store to the peer myself. to do so i decided to take the long way to make sure i wasn't being tailed. along the way i got to pass a cool fountain. while standing around watching the water i noticed a black car that had stopped suspiciously in a no parking zone...

though i would have liked to chill out at the fountain a bit longer i had a bad feeling about that car. starting to walk through the plaza around the fountain suddenly the car took the corner so that it could head the same way i was!

okay i know how this sorta thing works... in movies i should get in a car, and we'd have a chase. problem is i left my car in north vancouver... i didn't feel like running, cause to run as fast as a car i'd be really tired by the time i got to releasing lobey.

instead i ducked into a mall to try and lose them. it was easy enough as i'd been heading the wrong direction... doubling back on the plaza i figured since i'd be tailed once that i should make sure it didn't happen again...

i plunked down to start a blog entry... when suddenly someone grabbed me from behind!!!

man oh man did they grab me too. they lifted me right into the air! suddenly in a all too formiliar booming voice i heard "what have you done with that fish!!!"... i knew that voice! and man was i in trouble... it was dark vadar!!!

"several transactions were sent to you by aquarium spies. i want to know what happened to the fish their sending you!" he said while increasing the pressure around my throat.

"i got no transactions. i'm an education staff member. out to do a program." i managed to say, but barely. man that guy has a strong grip!

"if your an educator then where is the venue?!?" he angrly replied... oh man he's a sharp cookie.

"what fish?" i was seriously confused... my brain doesn't work the best under normal conditions, but without oxygen that's just asking for trouble.

"the one they took away from the public viewing area last week! the only one i haven't seen! i want that fish!!!" he fumed...

the pressure on my neck was getting a bit much. if he kept up i didn't think i was going to survive... i needed to distract him. like in a spy movie. what would they say. something witty and smart no doubt...

"uh uh" i couldn't think of anything. then it hit me! "i am your son..."

"what?" he was astounded. "that's not true. that's impossible!"

it worked i could feel his grip lessen just a titch. now i just had to escape...

vadar went on though. "you can't be my son... i just met with him for lunch yesterday!"

was he going senile? it was this point i noticed that he was a lot older and fatter then in the movies... i guess that's the nice part about being famous, and having a movie made about your life. you get played by beautiful people!

that was when i made my move! i swung my tail and hit him as hard as i could... i hit him inbetween the legs... i was aiming for his head...

in any case he suddenly toppled over, and let go of me. boy did i take that chance i bolted!

he didn't follow me as best i can tell, and now i'm here hiding out at the peer with the boat waiting for lobey to get delivered so i can release her... it's like i said i knew her enemies would come out to try and get her.

i hope she get here soon!

the man with the wooden boat (undercover part 1)

64.38 million BC

okay i have plan of action to save lobey. now all i need is the gear to accomplish my goal...

first things first i'm going to need a boat. now do happen to be the proud owner of an entire fleet of ships (like an superspy should). problem is their my game pieces for battleship, which by the was NOT sunk! Despite that I'm still going to need a bigger boat...

as of such i had to use my cover as an employee of the aquarium to acquire myself a vessel that is actually seaworth.

to do that i had to wander further into downtown vancouver! what a busy bustling place. which for me was a little daunting. i'm from smalltown alberta. the most foot traffic i've seen in drumheller was during the canada day parade! this was like ten of those all on one block!

it is good too though, in that i blended in, and would be hard to follow.

where to you might wonder. i did too. i just took a phonebook with me and aimed for the closest boat retailer. which in this case was a place called classic boatwares and sales...


getting there i was amazed to find they sold a wide range of old boats. not like used boats either. i mean they sold REALLY old boats. stuff they used in the stone age or uh i guess the wood age?

i was unconvinced this place had what i needed till the salesperson told me these were perfect for smooth boating, and be pretty low impact on the environment.

that was perfect. if i was going high impact i'd be easy to trace! that and such a weird boat would be SO weird no one would think a secret agent would dare use it. i took it!

now time to arrange for the transport of lobey to the boat at the peer, and get ready to release her later this afternoon.

though i'm still worried about lobey's enemies making their move. if they don't act soon they'll miss their chance...

you only evolve twice (aquarium part 8)

64.2 million BC

i'll take a water thawed not frozen...

the reason for my celebration i've found what i need to release lobey. the answer was so simple. i don't know why i didn't see it before...
it was the last tank i had to look at here in the whole aquarium. i was worried. what were the odds that this would hold the answer that i needed. out of all the tanks you'd think the i'd have run into this one already...

checking it out though i was amazed to see an archelon! it may have been a tiny one, but don't hold that against him. i myself know what it is like to be a small individual of a big species!

seconds later a myledaphus swam by... my hopes were realized! i'd found a tank that was the oceans of the BCs!!!

unfortunately ending my celebrations, swam by the last component of an authentic BC ocean... a shark!

now don't get me wrong... i'm liking the true too prehistory assemblage (though i don't want to stick around for a xiphactinus to come by... those guys are just bad scary news all round!), but lobey just won't stand a chance in this tank... the oceans of the BCs could be a scary eateny place... xiphactinuses, cretoxyrhinas, and mosasaurs oh my!

so you're wondering how is it i'm going to save lobey by throwing her in a tank of death...

simple i'm not.

i'm just going to release her into the ocean outside the aquarium... the reason it is the REAL sea of BC!!! she'll have a better chance in the open BC ocean then closed in a small tank with the killers of the prehistoric maritimes (or is the maritime a time period of it's own?)...

so my next task is to get the gear needed to facilitate this transfer...

though i'm still no closer to finding out whose behind the plot to kill lobey...