come and C the damage

despite the fact the flood has been over for a little while sadly life hasn't quite settled to that nice stability i'd been enjoying for a few months. the flood left quite a mess through out dunedin including the botanic garden.

there's some good news and some bad news when i got back home after the flood ended on my birthday (of all times for it to end!).

the bad news was that the dell where i live had been pretty thoroughly soaked and boggified.

the good news was that i don't owe a lot of stuff, and what little i did have stayed nice and dry with me at salmond during the flood.

another bit of bad news i'd totally forgotten about, was one of my directives from the department of conservation:

C. Must report to the Department of Conservation
any change in habitat, territory, or ecosystem
within 24 hours of change

though i hadn't given my conservation directives a second thought there was someone else who had...

my attaché with DOC agent hamilton was very eager to checkup on me. especially in light of the flood...

last time she'd visited i didn't quite manage to get on her good side. not that i got on her bad side either... she is just intimidating to be honest, and i had no idea how to make sure she didn't hate me.

i mean after all i can't have the person whose in charge of my living in this country not like me. that'd make life unfun in a hurry... or so i'd think... with my small brain...

agent hamilton showed up in the middle of the afternoon. not a time i would have expected a visit from DOC... which was kind of the idea i think.

during her last visit agent hamilton had insisted on NOT entering the dell due to fears of disturbing my habitat. even though she hadn't seen it she knew exactly where to look for it.

i became aware of something not quite normal when i caught the scent of someone coming down the path (we t-rexs have pretty dare good senses of smell). it's unusual for people to wander into the dell due to the urban legend of the dell being a maze of doom...

man was i surprised when that person wandering in was agent hamilton!

"ah good," said agent hamilton as she walked up to me. "i'm glad you are home mr. tyrannosaur."

"you can call me traumador," i prompted. nobody ever calls me by my last name.

"i wish to inspect the damage caused by the flood," she ignored me.

"well other then a bit of erosion and swampyness everything is pretty much alright," i reported.

"so there have been changes to your territory as a result of the flood," agent hamilton made a note in her book.

"just a few little ones," i wanted to impress her by pointing them out. "like this new little drain creek here, and the bog mud here."

cutting me off though. "mr. tyrannosaur you are aware that you are currently in violation of article C of your conservation directives?" she was clearly unhappy.

"uh no," my heart sank. i thought i'd been doing really good in everything up till now. suddenly i wasn't...

"i'm going to consider this a warning to you mr. tyrannosaur," her voice was icy. "but in the future i highly suggest you reference your directives at least once a week to ensure that you are in compliance with them."

"okay," i sadly replied. so much for the stability of the before. also so much for getting on agent hamilton's good side. this was so getting on her bad side...

"fortunately this incident was a minor violation of article C. in the future event of a similar natural disaster please contact us to alert us of its effecting you. we can not ensure your survival unless we are given adequate information. now let us consider that topic taken care of," she made another note in her book. "i wish to see your habitat. if you could guide me i'd greatly appreciate it."

well okay i thought. maybe this was a chance to redeem myself!

so off we went on a grand tour of my humble jungle like home. the whole while agent hamilton happily wrote down notes in her book... wonder what it says about me?

after the grand 10 minute tour and returning to where we'd started agent hamilton had a few questions.

"so that constitutes your whole range?" she asked.

"what?" i was confused. "i don't have a range. i'm a close proximity predator. constitution? i'm really not following you agent hamilton?"

she paused for a moment. "sorry mr. tyrannosaur. i forgot about your unique cerebral characteristics," she'd lost me again... "was everything you showed me your current territory?"

"oh," i exclaimed. why didn't she just ask that? still not sure what firing ranges and governments have to do with my home? "yeah that's pretty much it."

"i see," she wrote a longish bit to that one. "are you aware of the specific nature of this particular section of the garden?"

"uh maybe?" i replied unsure. i knew lots of things about it, but not "specific" things.

"as the agent in charge of your conservation mr. tyrannosaur i feel it is my duty to alert you to the hazardous nature of this dell system," agent hamilton said in a serious voice, which coming from her was really serious!

"the ghosts?!?" i interrupted. man that night had scared me.

agent hamilton raised her eyebrow. "ghosts?"

i told her the details of my run in with the eerie light and voices. she made several notes in her book.

"i can't verify or comment on this disruption to your lifestyle. i'll have someone from the department look into it," i had clearly thrown her off track. "however back to the subject i was discussing before this... new detail. are you aware of this area being part of "the maze"?"

"hold up, i thought the maze was just a myth?" i tried not to show the fear in my voice. now i'm not saying i didn't believe ben when he told me that story about the dell being some sort of crazy maze that people get lost in. i was just kinda hoping he was pulling my leg or telling a tall tale...

agent hamilton suddenly went slightly stiff in her composure. "officially mr. tyrannosaur there is no evidence to confirm or deny the existence of such a maze," she suddenly drew in closer and lowered her sun glasses. "unofficially you are living in the gateway to a very dangerous patch of forest mr. tyrannosaur."

i suddenly became somewhat alarmed.

"at the same time," agent hamilton seemed to have had a thought. "now that i think about it, i am quite pleased at this choice of habitat."

what?!? how could living on the edge of a maze of doom be a good thing???

"you'll be safe from poachers and hunters in this section," she went on. "that and predators."

i was going to say something, but agent hamilton looked at me squarely. "i assure you both on and off the record this spot is probably the safest for you in dunedin. however ensure you don't wander past your current range... sorry i mean territory."

"if you say so," i hesitantly agreed.

"i do," she jotted down some notes. "i'm concluding this check up. contact me or the department if you experience any problems, and mr. tyrannosaur make sure you follow your directives from now on!"

with that agent hamilton was gone as suddenly as she had appeared...

man this changed my whole day and out look on things.

not only had i made a mess of things with DOC, but the maze i was living beside was known and feared by more then just ben... even the department of conservation was worried about it... if their scared of it then what hope do i have of not being...


a history quiz... and the big 04

the flood has been going on for so long i've lost track of just how many days i've been stranded here at salmond.

adding to my cut offness from the outside world i've been keeping a low profile to ensure that i don't run into the germ-man again. after our last encounter i've still got a bump on my head from him dropping me off the stairs.

waking up i had a funny feeling today was supposed to be something, but i couldn't quite put my peanut sized brain on it...

for the most part i hadn't seen craig around a whole lot since i'd moved into the botanic garden... well okay apart from celebrating getting my extracontinental status...

i thought we'd patched things up... given i'd smuggled myself into new zealand in his bag, crashed his room, and kinda made a mess of his place...

this morning that idea seemed to come to a crashing halt...

i'd been staying in craig's room again here at salmond, but barely seen him. craig's had a lot of skool stuff going on so he's never around, and even then not willing to do anything fun...

the normal routine had been him getting up early in the morning, and leaving for skool. leaving me undisturbed in the laundry hamper to sleep. this morning was different...

i awoke to craig shaking me out of my slumber...

"traumador," he sounded grumpy. "you're sroaring again."

huh... normally craig can sleep through anything, and doesn't mind my sroaring...

he scowled. "august 16, do you have any idea of what today is?"

i looked at him puzzled. both due to my tiny mind thinking of anything and the fact i was still half asleep.

"they're probably sending out the last expedition of the field season in alberta today," he stated sternly.

why he was keeping me awake to talk about fossil hunting back home was beyond me?

craig paused as though expecting me to say something. i couldn't think of anything to say. we were in new zealand, and though both of us were missing the badlands there wasn't much point talking about it...

"you know, i remember my first end of summer expedition," he continued. oh man it was too early in the morning for me to listen to this! i desperately put my head back on the laundry and closed my eyes.

"traumador! it's rude to not listen when you're being talked to!" i hadn't heard craig use that tone of voice since i was a hatchling... "as i was saying i remember my first end of summer expedition. i made a very significant find that summer. do you know what that was?"

oh man. i just wanted to sleep! why the sudden nostalgia?

craig clearly expected me to guess. "uh, an edmontosaur?" i guessed. odds were good i'd be right. you find a million edmontosaurs to anything else.

"please," he dismissed it. his tone was getting really gruff. "i found sternberg's lost huxley tyrannosaur quarry."

okay that twigged something in my half sleep brain, people of the web wide world, but i wasn't sure what or why?

i knew that craig used to help find old lost quarries... those were fossil digs done in the olden days, but the spots weren't recorded so we don't know where they were found. the exact place is important to scientists... why was an old dig so important to craig this early in the morning? why was it ringing a bell in my head?

wait a second, huxley tyrannosaur...

that's my mom... but they found her well before craig was even born... oh that would explain the lost quarry bit...

wait a wait a second! they found my mom in the 1940's, but no one knew from where... till craig stumbled across the site, and found...


craig who of course having found me, hatched me, and raised me knows my habits and expressions pretty good. he obviously could see that i'd worked it out.

"you really think i'd wake you up just to tell you old prospecting stories?" he suddenly smiled. "happy birthday you dumby!"

from behind his back craig brought out some DVDs.

"sorry i didn't have time to wrap them," he said. "but i knew you'd like them, and i saw on your blog you'd finished off the jurassic parks."

that sneaky craig! he definitely surprised me... which was his intent.

he had woken me up just to make sure that he saw me on my hatching day... wasn't that nice of him.

just like that though had to head off to skool...

what had he given me though?

oh man! NO WAY!!!

the whole BBC walking with and chased by dinosaur series!!!!!!!!!

sweet! well there's something for me to watch and review...

but it was still stupid early in the morning so i decided to sleep some more...

when i woke up i was surprised with another present on my birthday...

the rain had stopped, and more to the point the flood was gone!!!

so life was returning to normal... hopefully i thought looking at the reduced, but still slightly higher then normal leith.

here i stand a 4 year old tyrannosaur... in dino years that's practically a teenager... ready to go out there and make my future awesome!


movie review: jurassic park 3

the flood continues to keep me stranded in salmond hall
haven watched nearly all the jurassic park series lately it seemed about high time i finished them off. while i'm at why not finish my review of the series too?

the other two jurassic parks by steven spielberg were a real treat to watch from the perspective of a dinosaur, but with the third installment a new director was brought in to bring the mesozoic to the future... would it carry on the lost world's trend of being an amazing dinosaur movie (from a dinosaur perspective mind you) or would it fail to meet the high standards of the jurassic park franchise...
let's find out...

Jurassic Park 3


Summary of Review

(Remember this is all from a Dinosaur point of view)

Score: 20%

Good Points:

  • The most extensive non-documentary cast of dinosaurs EVER in one film!
  • amazing herd scenes with a realistic mix of animals (especially from my home province of alberta!)

Bad Points:

  • The casting of most of the main theropods begs to question why isn't this movie called "Jurassic Park 3: Attack of the Fish Eaters"
  • overall this movie sets dinosaurs back into the olden days of dinosaur films. showing us as nothing more then mindless killing machines
  • an extremely inaccurate portrayal of it's main theropod antagonist spinosaurus
  • The exclusion of any meaningful herbivorous dinosaur scenes or moments, except for the brilliant herd scenes.

this film centers around palaeontologist extraordinaire alan grant from the first movie once again, and his own exploits on island site B (the lost world... check out my opinion on this topic in my lost world review).

unlike the other two jurassic park movies which had some minor plot points that were mostly ignorable this one has some HUGE ones that even i picked up with my tiny brain...

the first of these is the beginning scene of the movie. a human father and son pair are paragliding off the shore of site B when suddenly something terrible happens to the boat that is towing them. the boat driver has been somehow eaten causing the boat to crash and the two to glide onto the island. setting up the story that is about to happen.

as to what ate the boat driver or how it caught up to a motor boat at full speed is never once addressed which is a little silly. even i could have written something better then that! none of the dinosaurs in this film (or any dinosaur frankly as we all live on the land) are capable this sort of speed swimming, and there aren't any marine reptiles in jurassic park (mozzies can't bite water animals without drowning and if cloned and put in the ocean these guys would be all over the world anyway).

so with that "great" start to the movie we join dr. grant in the middle of a press conference talking about how palaeontology isn't dead despite living dinosaurs being around for study. he's kinda down on his luck, and could really use some money to keep digging fossils.

right then a solution appears in the form of a couple who want to hire him to be a tour guide on a fly over tour vacation of site B. initially grant refuses, but after some manipulation by his assistant is persuaded to go.

in the middle of flying over the island suddenly the airplane lands causing grant to freak out...

thirty seconds after landing all the convenient extras and the airplane are eaten in a surprise attack by the new saurian foe of the film spinosaurus...

we are treated to an extreme demonstration of this new theropod's menace in which it trashes the plane, eats all but the main billed humans, and even fights and kills a tyrannosaurus rex (which to be honest would be impressive, but i rant about this shortly) all in it's first 3 minutes of screen time...

as to why it chases JUST the humans for the whole film makes no sense. after ridiculously killing the t-rex mr. spinosaurus ignores the huge feast of rex carcass for a futile and silly pursuit of tiny snack sized morsals... which being human weren't even in his diet 95 million years ago

the plot then just becomes an ongoing chase around the island with the humans being a single step ahead of the super spinosaurus.

in the midst of this they find the island B cloning lab, and dr. grant is shocked to discover that spinosaurus isn't on the official cloning list... meaning it was cloned some other way... even i know that makes no sense! you can't copy something you don't have! and why didn't ubber predator spinosaurus show up in the other movies?

in the lab suddenly the band of humans runs into a pack of raptors... who sad to say... were the highlight of the movie. they take up chasing the humans... not wanting to be left out of the chasing human games (it's possibly going to be a new sport in the next summer olympics!)...

just when it seemed we couldn't enough chasing in the humans run amok some pterandons. after losing a human in the bird cage the humans pick up where we left with the spinosaur...

right when all hope seems lost the humans get the raptors to stop chasing them by giving back some eggs they stole? (wait what happened to the spinosaur? since when were raptors the problem?) to make the raptors happy again dr. grant talks to them through a fossil he had?

yeah with a brain the size of a peanut this doesn't make sense to me either...

right when i thought the movie was making too much sense the navy shows up to save everyone... all cause of a two second phone call... man humans in movies are both smart and efficient...

ugh so now i have to review that... oh man...

Dinosaur Stars and Celebrities

well one thing i have to give this movie is the cast list itself is pretty awesome... if not for terrible execution there was some real potential in here. the majority of the dinosaur extras and side characters could make up a pretty sweet dino movie in prehistoric alberta!

Ankylosaurus- first of the albertan dinosaurs on the list. this is not the first appearance of a tankosaurus (my name for them... cause man they are just no fun to try and kill), but their first appearance in a jurassic park. too bad they were only seen in the background this film cause even though it is scary when they use that tail club of theirs against us theropods, it would be cool in a film...

Brachiosaurus- well after unrealistic delusions of grandeur from the attention it got in the first jurassic park the brachiosaur was written out of the sequel due to ridiculous salary demands, but comes back to find itself back in the third installment. the rumoured reason was after not only missing out on the lost world, but then being a very minor token appearance in walking with dinosaurs' jurassic episode, brachiosaurs was desperate for any work they could get in hollywood. this time around they only get a bit part... though the full on jurassic park theme is played for this appearance which is more then the other herbivores in this movie can say...

Ceratosaurus- these primitive horned theropods are no stranger to the screen (i say their primitive not cause i disrespect them... well okay maybe a bit... but because they have 5 fingers... theropod freaks!) having appeared in nearly half of classic dinosaur movies. here in their first major modern appearance they get very minor roles and next to no screen time... right when their set up to join in the great human chase they are chased away by the spinosaur... oh well... who'd want to watch a freak show anyway...

Compsognathus the tiny coelorosaurs are back, but are in this movie only show up a couple of times on screen.

Corythosaurus one of the prettier of the duck bills from alberta FINALLY makes a none documentary appearance in this film. it surprises me as their dinner plate crest gives them a very nice look that lends its self well to the movie screen. sadly these guys are only really seen in the herd scenes of the movie...

Parasaurolophus the most famous of albertan duck bills returns making him one of the few ornithischian to be in all three jurassic park films... however like all the other plant eaters in this film these guys are only extras in the herd scenes...

Pteranodon these flying reptiles are no stranger to film, but after a brief cameo in the lost world the public demanded a more prominent role for these guys in the third JP. as of such they get a big long action chase sequence in a big metal bird cage.

Spinosaurus has remained ignored by hollywood despite he's being around since the turn of the century. the fin backed fisher from africa breaks out big in JP 3 having a scene fighting down us T-Rexs. Though this introduction of spinosaurus went down well with human movie goers, spinosaurs took a big hit to their reputations within the theropod community. by taking this ridiculously inaccurate role and popularizing an image of spinosaurids that just isn't true ALL other meating dinosaurs have lost a lot of respect for the fin backs, who frankly have become a second class of saurian these days because of it (helped all the more by the fact plant eaters as a rule don't get along with any meat eaters)

Stegosaurus enjoying a triumphant return to the movies with the lost world are mitigated to a mere extra on this film...

Triceratops just can't get a break in the jurassic park movies. either their seen completely pathetic and powerless or their a bit cameo player. Nothing changes in the third chapter with these guys only showing up in herd scenes...

Tyrannosaurus returns to the third installment, but for a very noteworthy and EXTREMELY controversial cameo. my cousin larry arguably mr. jurassic park himself returns to this film but for only a 2 minute appearance. the story behind this is an outrage to the whole theropod community, and has had lasting effects on the jurassic park franchise. i'll tell you about it in a second.

Velociraptor jurassic parks gem untapped talent find return as the secondary villains of the film. ironically due to the handling of this movie overall the raptors that were in the other two films detrimental to dinosaur image and perception have somehow become the highlight of this movie.

so that's the cast. in written form this is an amazing cast, and reading all the promotion as a young hatchling i couldn't wait to see this movie like so many other living dinosaurs. what none of us knew is what a disgrace this film would be...

you see the politics and dealings that went into this movie were a nightmare. i remember listening to my cousin larry's tales of this at a family reunion (the fact i listened should tell you how interesting they were... me and larry don't get along so much... what with his being a big JERK! and all).

steven spielberg departed the franchise for the most part as of the lost world taking with him his normal crew meaning a new one had to be assembled for the third film. immediately they called for a bigger and better cast which filled the dinosaur community with excitement as news came they were planning to showcase many new species. it was looking to be another great addition to the jurassic park franchise

there was only one problem. this new team had no experience working with dinosaurs, and only a slight bit more knowledge about them. meaning they had no clue who they were working with or how to best portray them in a culturally sensitive manner... now granted we dinosaurs are used to this from hollywood, but we were expecting a lot better from a jurassic park movie (which by this point had built up a reputation).

the director interested in expanding the theropod component of the jurassic park mythos (why i'm not sure... we already had a carnivore for every 2 plant eaters, and we theropods need a lot of prey... adding more into this fictional ecosystem didn't make much sense) looked up the largest meat eaters. he was interested in a meat eater called spinosaur that he found on this short list, that slightly out sized a tyrannosaur, and had an idea...

if his movie had a bigger badder carnivore then speilberg's then his jurassic park would go down in history as the best. the casting crew set out and found a spinosaurus who was more then willing to take the star billing in a JP film.

initially the movie had called for an ongoing tyrannosaurus presence, and if i understand larry's version of things would have had the spinosaur appear later in the film and take out the t-rex to demonstrate it's power.

had giganatosaurus been a known entity in those days and cast in this part larry might not have taken offense. giganatosaurus is a large prey hunter too, and a tyrannosaur can respect losing out to one of them (possibly).

the thing is spinosaurs are NOT large prey hunters... their fish eaters!!!

larry reading the script flat out refused to appear in the film instantly after reading the battle scene. somehow larry was able to, no one is quite sure how, convince every other tyrannosaur not to accept the role either due to the insult (but it is public record how almost every other t-rex was approached... minus me cause i'm too small... stupid hollywood!). this left the new team in a pickle.

they had intend to over shadow t-rexs in the film, but had counted on still having some in the film. without an appearance of the franchises long standing stars the public might not shine to this new film. desperate they entered negotiations with larry that at any cost they must have him appear in the film. larry stated for every minute he was on the screen it'd cost his entire salary from the lost world. much to larry's surprise they met this... for two and a half minutes!

larry grudgingly took the part (who wouldn't?!? he's easily the richest dinosaur in the world now), but was a very vocal critic of the movie before and especially after its production. due to this incident larry's relationship with speilberg was weakened to the point that jurassic park 4 is only just being made now!

spinosaurus enjoyed a brief moment in the spotlight as a false mega theropod, but lost this attention shortly with the emergence of a new large carnosaur named giganatosaurus who more rightfully deserved recognition.

if only this negative saga had stayed off screen... however the dinosaur rookie crew of JP3 had a lot more mistakes to go...

Dinosaur Portrayal

the best way to describe this movie portrayal-wise is ATTACK OF THE FISH EATERS!!!

not only is spinosaurus a fish eater turned terrestrial killer, but so is pteranodon.

now some of you out there might think traumador you're splitting hairs over this. fish is meat therefore these guys can kill and eat any kind of meat, but trust me as a large prey hunting guy whose tried catching fish i'm not equipped to do that at all, and it is vice versa!

in the film spinosaurus is faster then a speeding tyrannosaur, more powerful then a triceratops, able to smash solid metal cages in a single bunt. now in fairness spinosaurs are lighter built then us T-Rexs and could probably run faster then us. as for the rest of it...

today we in math you'll be learning that spinosaur=fish eater...

you need to be fast and agile to catch fishys... not the incredible hulk!

the movie tries way to hard to make spinosaurus something no single theropod was... even though all us carnivorous dinos have day dreamed about it...

top most on this wish list for OTHER theropods is the fantasy of taking on and beating a tyrannosaur in battle... funny how this happened in jurassic park 3.

i mean it's funny. the entire scene is a joke to a dinosaur or anyone who knows stuff about them. if this weren't presented in such a dramatic and serious tone jurassic park 3 would be the greatest dinosaur comedy ever made...

sadly the spinosaur and the director didn't see it that way, and the sequence is played as seriously as it can be all things considered. what things need considering?

it's only one thing, and that's larry.

due to him the scene had to be rushed from suspenseful pacing to olympic dash due to larry's salary demands. as of such it isn't all that much of a brawl or slug fast. Rather each of them exchanging bites and larry taking a fall.

perhaps the most detracting aspect from the fight though is larry's performance. normally larry is the best dinosaur in any movie he's in. in jurassic park 3 he's calling it in, and if you know dinosaur body language it's worse then that. he's actively either trying not to laugh OR kill the spinosaur

perhaps not a widely known fact about we tyrannosaurs, but we have the strongest bite of any animal known. 3000 pounds per square inch. in the battle there is a moment where larry is called on to bite the spinosaur in the neck...

in real life this is a t-rexs main killing tactic. we do go for the neck, but with our bite force and teeth design (not a steak knife like books tell you... that's sauropod killers teeth, we're ornithischian killers... our teeth are like nails they puncture solid stuff... not cut soft) we t-rexs literally shatter the bones of our victims. meaning with a neck shot we totally shatter their spine...

you can tell watching that bite it takes everything larry has NOT to kill that spinosaur. it is easily the most impressive thing the spinosaur does in the movie. i'd NEVER let larry do that stunt on my neck...

i still can't help but laugh out loud that that part though. the spinosaurus (whose spin is apparently made of steel) shrugs off larry's neck chomp, and then bites larry's neck killing him (in the worst acted and funniest dinosaur death in a movie... and that's saying something... there are some pretty bad dino deaths in old movies... larry puts his final stamp of contempt on this film).

this has to rank up there as one of the worst dinosaur movie scenes of all time!

not cause it's a insult to tyrannosaurs mind you (though that does effect my judgement i'll admit), but more because this movie tries to wrap itself in the jurassic park flag and come across as an accurate dinosaur portrayal...

back to our theme of attack of the fish eaters... pteranodon

well our flying reptile friend (who of course as you should know is NOT actually a dinosaur) is no stranger to hollywood casting them as man eating/killing machines. many a old era movies featured pteranodon and other pterosaurs (the family name for winged reptiles) swooping down and carrying off people.

what came as a surprise was that a jurassic park movie included this extremely inaccurate cliche.

in reality pteranodon lived by oceans and inland seas catching fishys. their bodies only weighted as much as a fully grown humans, and their beaks were toothless... leaving one to wonder how is it they suddenly have the power to fly with a load that weighs as much as they do, and how their going to kill said struggling human when they get it too the nest.

the pteranodon attack sequence adds yet more to this being a dinosaur comedy. not only due to this inability of pteranodon to hunt humans realistically (watch when they pick up billy and carry him off... you can SO see the wires helping lift him...) but also due to a great dinosaur movie punch line.

ray harryhausen the master dinosaur director of the olden day dinosaur movies knew all too well his pterosaurs problems with these scenes in movies, and always had in the script any human caught by a flying reptile to escape the ordeal in the end. just check out 1 million years BC and valley of gwangi to see what i mean.

guess what? either one of the screenwriters was a big fan of harryhausen or their the biggest fluke in the universe. because the one human caught by the pteranodon's in JP3 manages to escape. leading to this being dinosaur viewers favourite part of the movie... just not for the reasons their supposed to!

Dinosaur Perception

fortunately the public had taken from the first two jurassic parks the right messages about us dinosaurs.

at the same time there was a period of about 3 years after the movie that at the tyrrell we got people asking about the spinosaurus thinking it was as portrayed in JP3... BOO!

Dinosaur/Human Relations

if there is one thing this movie hurt me with more then the spinosaurus (which as a t-rex hurt to watch) was the backward steps it took in dinosaur human/relations...

the basic plot boiled down is that theropods exist to do NOTHING else but hunt humans...

the spinosaurus literally spends the whole movie doing nothing but mindlessly chasing the human characters around the island...

presented with a meal and a half after killing larry, who had been scavenging a carcass at the time, the spinosaurus abandons the main course sized t-rex feast to relentlessly pursue a couple chicken nuggets...

in other words we're back to the 1960's where dinosaurs were nothing more then monsters to be feared and destroyed.

funnily the raptors who in the other jurassic park movies had been the source of much of my criticisms suddenly shine in this third movie. the one thing the writers manage to get right is supposed raptor intelligence that had been missing in JPs 1 and 2.

though the raptors join in on the great human chase their motivations we learn are driven by more natural and believable causes (note i said more believable... as in compared to the spinosaurus' "chase all humans" imperative).

through the course of the plot we discover the raptors chase the humans in an attempt to get back stolen eggs. this one plot twist (as random as it was) is a nice salute to the human exploitation of dinosaurs explored in the lost world.

it also elevates the raptors in this movie to suddenly sympathizeable and realish creatures... after a fashion anyway.

it also leads to my favourite dinosaur human coexistence yet in a film! despite the fact it is a ridiculous scene and concept, the part where alan grant saves the humans by talking to the raptors with a fossil cast (this i learnt was actually sam neil who speaks raptor amazingly well!) is a truely inspiring moment.

not for what it is on surface. more what it represents. a moment where dinosaur and human meet an understanding, and both leave the other in peace. i was deeply moved and touched by this scene.

imagine a world where this was actually the case! i would no longer have problems fitting into the post dinosaur world...

Favourite Scene of the Movie

despite the aforementioned dino/human relations moment another sequence in the film stole best moment for me.

it wasn't a theropod moment either... which to me shows the greatness of this scene...

it was a moment when the humans are running from raptors through a massive herd of hadrosaurs...

here we finally after half the movie finally had a brief glimpse back to the jurassic park series' heart and soul. dinosaurs shown and written as though they were real animals.

the shots of the parasaurolophus and corythosaurs could easily have been filmed 75 million years ago in dinosaur provincial park. it showed the majesty, awe, and the realness of saurian existence.

for this short 2 minutes one could have believed that we dinosaurs were more then just great human killing robots...

too bad the rest of this movie was made...


ping-pong, schnietzel, and water oh my! (enemy? part 2)

the flood still rages on outside, but it is nice, dry, and warm here at salmond...

best plan i've had in a while...

i had been planning on just hanging around here and chillaxing (the museum's closed due to the flood... bonus!), but something has come up.

as you know people of the innerweb i'd been enjoying a remarkably stable period in my life... nothing weird or bad has happened to me in a couple months. i should have taken the flood as an omen of the smooth times being over...

there was a loose end at salmond i'd totally forgotten about when i planned to stay here. as you may recall i had a not pleasant encounter with a resident here called the germ-man (why anyone would name their country germ-many is beyond... germs are gross!).

today i was reminded all too much of his presence here...

the tale is so crazy that i could only express it through vlog... which works out nicely as i'm long over due on a vlog as is (supposed to be every 25 posts... this one's 63... sorry... all i can say is life has been busy down here...)

i have no idea what's going to become of this. making it worse i'm stuck here for at least another day or two due to the flood...



well sadly the universe seems to have decided that the period of stability in my life has ended...

i awake early this morning due to very distressing factors... now granted not as scary as my wake up call several weeks ago, but unpleasant none the less...

early this morning i woke up soaking wet, and lying in a steadily growing puddle of water...

as my brain started to wake up at the early hour of 8am, i was shocked to realize that the hills of the dell all around me were alive with the constant and chaotic movement of tiny waterfalls... which i assure you normally aren't here!

all these pouring right into my territory of the dell... what was causing this i wondered?

i set off immediately to find out as i still wanted to sleep!

sleepily stumbling my up to the top of the dell the WHOLE botanic garden had been transformed into a water park... of sorts anyway...

new micro waterfalls were EVERYWHERE to be found. the pathways were under giant puddles.

the rain that has been going since yesterday is STILL going as hard as ever... at that moment i didn't make the connection what this none stop rain had with the submerging of my home... all i could think of was to grab my umbrella!

planning on finding ben the gardener and see if the garden had something to do with my new aquatic home i made a startling realization crossing a bridge across the leith (though i still want to call it an aquaduck)...

it was full!

normally there's a tiny stream going through the garden... right then a small river was going through!

well that solved one thing. i had for the most part figured out why my home was flooded... the rest of the garden was too!

but what of the rest of dunedin?

i only had to venture out of the garden a block to find my answer...

so it turns out if it rains for 2 days straight really hard with no break it floods after a while...

there were all sorts of official type people out and about looking into the situation. from campus security, to police, and even the fire department (which shows how crazy things were... the fire department dealing with the opposite of their mandated element!)

the reason they were out and about. the leith was a raging river... normally it's just a calm little stream!

the water was nearly up to all the bridges... suddenly i realized i lived across a bridge... if the water made it up there what then?

crossing the bridge back into the garden i was a little freaked by just how much more raging that river had gotten in the 30 minutes i'd been checking it out!

at this rate the bridges might get shut down... leaving me stranded in the garden!

more to the point my home was completely soaked out... normally the forest was good enough protection from the elements, but now it was more like living in a swimming pool. i needed somewhere nice and dry to retreat to and wait out the floods, but where?

suddenly i had an idea!

heading down the leith i aimed for salmond hall. home of not only my great friend owain, but also my legal guardian craig... it was the perfect solution!

i could hang out with owain till the crisis went away, and if things got worse i'd be close to my official emergency contact craig! it's a good thing all the paperwork i've had to fill out in new zealand has included reminders about who i should contact in an emergency...

walking along the leith i couldn't get over just how full it was even here towards salmond!

this is what the leith looked like last time i'd paid much attention to it... way back when i first sought out craig during my countdown to deportation...

see the leith is normally just a tiny little trickle!

there was just one last obstacle i had to overcome to get to the nice safe dry haven of salmond... that was a giant lake that had formed on the street RIGHT in front of salmond!

loch salmond was covered the street from sidewalk to sidewalk, and was at most half a metre deep!

couldn't go around it...

couldn't go over it...

was going to have to go through it...

man that was cold and wet... the good news though it only lasted a couple minutes. right after that i was in the nice dry interior of salmond.

the plan hangout here till the flood goes away. i have work off at moment as the museum is closed due to the flooding anyways. so i'm going to enjoy this slight hick up in the stability.

it's flooding outside what could possibly go worse?


8 random traumador facts

my agent peter bond has tagged me in a blog game called 8 tag... and like all good games it'd be no fun to not play... so here i go:

The Rules: Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The game rules are posted at the beginning of the post. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment to let them know they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.


i snore (well more like sssroar) in my sleep. much to the annouyance of my former room-mates, and who knows maybe the birds in the botanic garden too...


my favourite book is the dictionary. why? well let's face it, in the end EVERY other book in existence is ripping off the dictionary, and uses it's words in writing their stories. so why not read the definative and most original... duh!

reading it will hopefully help my vocabulary and expand my peanut sized brain too.
how times have a i read it? you might ask. hundreds of times, but i usually get distracted by something and only make it through the first page of A... but i can sure tell you what an aardvark is!!!


i measure myself once a week to see if i've grown at all. at the ripe old age of 3 (turning 4 next week!) i'm due for a growth spurt any day now! t-rexs are supposed to grow at an astonishing rate in their first 8 years of life, but i'm still only just a touch bigger then when i hatched... and to level with you people of the web wide world i think life would be a lot easier for me if i was a normal sized tyrannosaur...


i'm fluent in six languages... i picked these up from my upbringing by humans, and more to the point growing up in and around the royal tyrrell with all its many dinosaur residents.

english- naturally or you wouldn't be reading this. it's my only human language, and thus far i'm the only dinosaur known to be able to speak it... that alone write in it

tyrannosaurese- i'd be a miserable t-rex if i couldn't speak our native langauge. when talking to my mom or cousin larry this is typically what we speak.

to the average human these can be quite a scary exchange (especially when larry speaks... he has a VERY good t-rex accent from his acting in hollywood) of growls and loud roars... just think jurassic park: the lost world. larry and his wife in the movie are saying authentic t-rex lines (adding a whole new dimension to that film if you're fluent in t-rex or other saurian languages as there's twice the dialouge!)

dromaeosaurench- due to watching jurassic park a few too many times when i was little, i picked up raptor speak from the movie. due to my interactions (well more like fights and arguments as in the this pic... we t-rexs and raptors don't get along when it comes to being tourist attractions. just one big popularity competition... which WE win!!!) with the raptors we had at the tyrrell i kept my use of this language up, and expanded my vocab a lot... especially insults and other not nice words

coelurosaurian- this is the language common to all us bird ancestor theropods. if you heard it you'd think you were listening to big motcho birds chirping... birds can't quite understand us and vice versa...

ornithischianese-language of albertan veggiesauruses (who all funny enough are ornithischians... science lingo for plant eating dinos basically). i picked this one up from working at the tyrrell for so long... to be honest i don't like knowing it... my food talks back this way...

saurish- the most basic of dinosaur communication. it is neither pretty nor complicated, and none of us prefer to use it. just a nessecity with so many varied speices and types of dinos. this was the majority of what i spoke during the whole dino town fisaco.


i've met some pretty cool people in the world of museums and palaeontology back in the good old days...

for example here i am with the official face of the royal tyrrell john accorn the nature nut himself! as if that weren't enough for you on my right (your left... that's a tour guide trick!) is the one and only dr. dale russell!!!

that's not all... i've also had the privelage of hanging out with dinosaur planet's own dr. scott sampson!!!

of course working at the tyrrell i've naturally met the world's numero unio theropod expert dr. phil currie... however due to some tradegic accident i don't have my photos of him anymore!!!


i have a... few... phobias and fears. they include:

  • living dead things... like ghosts, vampires, and republicans!

  • explosions... they'll explode me!

  • gorillas... just watch king kong and see what he does to t-rexs...

  • balloons... that's right i suffer from globaphobia, but no making fun their just so floaty!

  • ghosts... oh yeah i already said this one

  • mosasaurs... the t-rexs of the oceans, and everytime i go swimming i worry one of these guys is swimming with me...

  • i'll turn out a big mean tyrannosaur like all the others still alive today.

  • rodents... i just don't like em... so fuzzy and gross


my favourite food is ornithischians. now granted that's a pretty general statement. liking saying ones favourite food is italian. as a tyrannosaurid from alberta my favs have to be hadrosaurs and ceratopsians.

hadrosaurs or duck bills are a main staple of a t-rexs diet in the wild, so it's a good thing i really like eating them!

to me their the fast food of the dinosaur world, and thus i tend to call them burgers... they don't have horns, armour, or any of that other annouying protective gear (well adaptations technically) so their relatively easy to take down... when on their own... they have an annoying habit of hanging out in herds which can making it tough as they stick up for each other... when you finally manage to seperate one... oh man... yummy

i think my fav food of all time has to be ceratopsians though...

however they've got very large sharp and pokey horns (that they have no problem using) which makes them a little more tricky then a duck bill, and adding to the effort is the bone frill that shields their neck (a t-rexs fav killing spot... with our powerful bite we just crush the spine).

due to the effort one has to put into one of these guys for dinner i think of them as steak. not only do they have horns like cows, but it's expensive meat... in this case workwise... but expensive none the less!

oh man steak is so good i couldn't even stave off my hunger for it when trying to court lillian way back before i was fired from the tyrrell.

come to think of it the last time i had a good steak was back in vancouver at the 65 million block of BC... i could kill for one right about now...


this last bit is super top secret people of the web wide world, and doesn't go any further then you or me!

well despite how bad my aforementioned courting attempt on lillian the albertosaur went back in drumheller i still well... this is embrassing in a way people of the innerweb... still kinda have a crush on her...

but we're now a world apart, and she couldn't have anything to do with a washout like me. being the big star of the museum that she is and all... sigh... she's just so hot and perfect is all...

well that's it from me.

8 random facts as per the rules of the game.

now as for tagging 8 people of the innerweb. i don't really know all that many. let's see can't tag peter.

so i tag kirsten, will, cam white, ms. rhonwyn, the germ-man, grad007, dan, and craig. whether they respond on their blog or facebook doesn't really matter i guess. have fun! i know i did...


the stablity destabilizes

as you probably know things had been fairly stable in my life, people of the web wide world. today something occurred that might signal an end to that trend.

as you know people of the innerweb i've been working as a security guard at the otago museum for a couple months now. as per the normal practise i've been diligently watching the whole place from the central lobby... due to my being able to see all the entrances to the museum galleries (just like in this nice pic).

up till recent i've been able to do my own thing at work cause my boss has been off doing... uh i don't know bossy type stuff at other museums around the world... she didn't mention what it was when she left...

well that changed today. without warning this morning ms. rhonwyn showed back up here in dunedin...

fortunately i had managed to get around to the main task she'd asked me to do last week... phew that was a close one!

now the one thing i don't have to worry about when the boss shows up unannounced is being caught NOT working! when ms. rhonwyn snuck behind me i was ever vigilantly patrolling the whole museum as usual (from one spot i'll point out... not to bad for a guy with a brain the size of a peanut!)... and come to think of it she didn't technically sneak up on me... cause hey as a guard at the museum that would make it sound like i didn't see her... which is preposterous!... i uh let her sneak up on me... yeah a test of sorts...

and as part of that test i might have let out a bit of a startled yipe of surprise when ms. rhonwyn was right beside me and said hello... it was JUST a test mind you... i'm not a coward or anything...

it was real exciting to she her again cause thus far she's been the nicest boss i've ever had.

that's not to say my bosses at other places i've worked were mean or anything. it's just in the 3 months i've worked here ms. rhonwyn has only been here in dunedin for one of them... which is kinda odd to be honest... i just haven't had to deal with her to draw a comparison is all...

"how have things been here while i was gone?" she asked, though ms. rhonwyn sounded like she was expecting a bad answer with her voice. was i in trouble or something?

"fine... i think," i replied hesitantly.

"oh good," ms. rhonwyn seemed to relax a bit. just a bit mind you...

"how was your trip?" i asked eagerly.

"it was... productive," she seemed as hesitant answering my question as i was with hers.

"what were you doing?" i was excited to hear tales of all the exotic museums she'd been to. man i love museums!

"just checking in with old friends," she said quickly. before i could try to ask her about her friends, ms. rhonwyn changed the subject. "so tell me about your shifts this last month."

that was a pretty exciting subject causing me to forget my line of questioning... for the moment anyway.

i told her all about my cool discoveries and findings in the various halls of the museum.

i could tell this made ms. rhonwyn happy with me just from the big smile she got.

"good on you traumador! that's what i like to hear. you're getting right into the thick of things here at the museum," she praised. "that way if trouble strikes you'll be able to deal with it, and know the in's and outs like the back of your hand."

something about how she talked about this "trouble" made my stomach churn a bit.

"are you expecting something bad to happen here?" i gasped in worry.

ms. rhonwyn stared at me for a moment, and then she got an uncomfortable smile... now i normally don't read human expression very well. being a tyrannosaur and all. instinctively i look for way different indicators of emotion (like exposing of massive t-rex teeth)... but i've seen dan put on "fake" smiles lots of times when i was living with him in drumheller.

"of course not," she stated with ingenue smile and all. suddenly ms. rhonwyn turned around and walked to the closest bench.

not sure what was going on i followed her. this was beginning to remind me of the weird way ben the gardener had been acting last time i talked to him about the scary maze he was talking about...

ms. rhonwyn was starting to slide down my list of favorite bosses... she was kinda scaring me... i liked my job, but if there was something she wasn't telling me about it i didn't really want it...

"what aren't you telling me ms. rhonwyn?" i asked surprisingly confrontationally... for me anyway... i'm normally a big chicken when it comes to these things. "this is the second time you've talked weird about this security job."

last time she had mentioned "interesting" stuff happening while on the job... i hadn't thought much about it then, but this was all new and exciting, and let's face it i was kinda desperate at the time!

now i had a somewhat stable life in the mix, and not to mention my nice scaly self.

her face took a slightly more serious expression, but not ominous or threatening mind you. "i'd never with hold any information from you or any of my other staff that you need to know traumador. i was talking 'figuratively'."

i have no idea what figuratively means people of the web wide world... does it have something to do with action figures? i like action figures!

"what?" was of course my reply... but ms. rhonwyn must have thought that i was being pushy or something.

"look traumador, you're misunderstanding me," she paused and clearly had something on her mind... she was just deciding whether to tell me or not. "my trip to those various museums around the world it was because they've been having some unfortunate things happen to them as of late. frankly i don't want to see any of it happen here."

what did she mean by "unfortunate things"? why wasn't she giving me straight answers.

it was like ms. rhonwyn could read my mind (as small as it is and everything!)...

"i'll show you what i mean," she tried to assure me.

we walked to the nearby maori gallery.

"you see this waka," she referred to the beautiful war canoe in the entrance... a waka need to remember that fun factoid... "an absolute treasure, and a key part of new zealand's heritage."

it sure was a nice exhibit piece...

she smiled. "i'm just a bit of a worry wart sometimes is all. i worry that somebody or something outside this building, or inside come to think of it, might try and do something that would remove this or another piece of new zealand forever. your job traumador is to make sure that doesn't happen."

well that kinda explained it all... i guess?

"as it is my job to make sure you do your job that's why i might make things sound a little dire," she concluded.

i couldn't quite relax though. i've worked at museums before. the royal tyrrell and devil's coulee to name some... none of my bosses at those places were worried about "somebody or something" "removing" any of our specimens...

come to think of it my bosses certainly never travelled around the world checking out other museums for trouble... what sort of troubles?

before i could ask any of these questions ms. rhonwyn stated. "you should get back to work traumador."

well there was no point in arguing it. i headed back to the lobby to resume my watch... what did watch mean though? was i just watching over or was i watching OUT for something?

so much for that stretch of nice calm stability people of the innerweb...