considering larry didn't alert me in anyway that he was just going to drop not too much has gone wrong... well other than me almost losing my home, permit to live in new zealand, and best friend. oh and we almost got arrested by the dunedin police force! that and now tyrannosaurs are being demonized by every news outlet in new zealand because larry likes to attack humans unprovoked!
okay so i'm in denial... the trip has been a total disaster! so much for the stability i was starting to get here a few month ago in new zealand... larry being the total JERK! that he is still hasn't even told me why he is here...
there's a number of big questions that have built up since larry arrived. however my biggest one at moment is where is larry getting all his information from? he knows things about me he just shouldn't!
foremost of this info is how on earth did he find out that on the earth, i'm on new zealand?!? only 3 people outside the country know about that, and one of them is here now!
today larry did it again... somehow he found out about recent events here in dunedin, and i sure hadn't told him about them!
we'd been arguing in the park (i've been trying to restrict us to the botanic garden ever since our disastrous field trip downtown) because me and larry have next to nothing in common. he insists on doing things in the traditional proper tyrannosaur fashion where i'm trying to be with the times and live something like a human...
larry wanted to hunt in the forest (which is a little silly as new zealand doesn't have an big animals at all!). where i wanted to just hang around the park and read some books (i borrowed a few from work to read up on our material. i don't want to be a security guard forever, and i figure the only way to work my way up is to arm myself with knowledge!). so we were at something of an impasse.
larry stormed off down the path after he realized he'd hit a brick wall... larry has been pushing me the last couple days to do more dinosaurian and tyrannosaur activities. he's afraid all this time i've been spending around humans has "dulled" my "instincts".
i've been outright refusing. i don't want anything to do with dinosaur culture anymore. not since the terrible events of my quest to find a new home at 65 million BC (especially my encounters at dino town, calgary, and larry himself in vancouver). dinosaurs have become real mean and even more competitive than they were millions of years ago. there just isn't many places for us today in a human world... i summarized this real well in my post way back when i ran into that albertosaur in calgary.
after 2 days of this ongoing debate larry finally realized i wasn't going to budge on the subject, and he was getting back to his JERK! like self. all mean and bossy. i was just about done with him!
after he'd wandered off for half an hour i started to hope maybe larry had gotten sick of me too, and left! crushing that hope a minute later larry wandered back, but his demeanour had changed...
"you've calmed down," i observed out loud. i've found the best way to figure out what larry's thinking is to play dumb, and he get him angered into 'correcting' me...
"i have cousin," he replied in a very polite voice. weird... "i've just realized that you have no context on your roots. afterall you were raised by a human . how could you possibly know what being a tyrannosaur truly is."
"i lived at the tyrrell for 3 years larry," i rebutted not wanting to go down the whole dulled instincts conversation AGAIN! "i know perfectly well what t-rexs are like. i hung out with mom, aunt black beauty (larry's mom), and the albertosaurs all the time. kinda got the picture then."
"that is within a captive context," larry responded his voice still level. normally in these debates he'd have been grumpy by now. plus this was a new argument he hadn't used before. what was he going to get at? "you've clearly never seen a tyrannosaur outside human dominance."
"oh yeah?" i wasn't even remotely moved by that. sure we had to follow the museum and megan's rules, but they treated us very well. especially considering there is no place for us now in a post extinction world.
"yes cousin," larry went on, but clearly with a direction to this logic. "for example we tyrannosaurs are the kings. we don't have to put up with lesser beings pushing us around."
"like who?" i couldn't possibly think of anyone pushing me around other than larry!
"what is this i hear about you getting bullied by a germ-mammal?" larry challenged.
i know my jaw dropped (a very human thing to do... which was good cause larry doesn't read human body language as good as dinosaurian). how had larry learned about the germ-man?
"what about him?" i managed to blurt back.
"how would you like to see how a true tyrannosaur would deal with him," larry craned his head towards me.
i was so tempted. the germ-man had been so mean to me for no reason, but i was in so much trouble already due to larry...
"ah but we'd have to eat him," i talked myself out of the temptation out loud.
larry just happily snarled (the t-rex version of purring... a very menacing growl to a human) "who said anything about eating him? there is a tried and tested method of scaring any foe whether they be mammal, ornithischian, or tyrannosaur. we won't have to kill him at all," larry slyly prompted. he concluded with sincerity. "afterall i promised you i won't harm anymore humans this trip."
even though a voice in the back of my head told me not to i found myself vengfully replying. "alright let's do it!"
meanwhile at salmond hall the germ-man unsuspecting sat in his room doing what ever it is they do in... uh what is the name of the place he comes from again?... germ-land? germ-many? germ-anada? germ-ina?... anyways doing what they do where he is from!"i enjoy reading germ-books... with my eyes," he happily spoke to himself.
it's hard to believe this is the kind of thing the germ-man does most of the time. everytime i've ever seen him, he has bullied me for no reasons whats so ever! whether it being pushing me around (literally) or throwing me off a stair case (and other stuff!)
well he was about to recieve his just desert... well not really... cause getting cake or ice cream would be nice... larry was about to deliever an anti-desert!
as the germ-man relaxedly sat back reading he had with him a nice little snack. which included a glass of water?... after the whole me spilling water on his favourite shirt you think he'd stay clear of H2O!?! i thought germ-men were allergic to wet clothing. what would happen to him if he spilled some that water on himself?!?...
had the germ-man paid closer attention to his water than he might have been given a clue as to what was about to happen to him... (well assuming that he'd seen jurassic park ... cause otherwise you might not get why water in cups ripples like this)
needless to say when there was a loud thump against the wall outside his room the germ-man noticed something was abnormal...
"what was that?" the germ-man exclaimed. "i wish to find out. so i shall go and take a look."
he wandered out of his room and down the hall to the source of the sound.
"there is nothing outside of this transparent wall that could have made that noise," the germ-man concluded after looking.
suddenly from below the germ-man, larry lifted his head from where he'd been crouching below the window.
"great lederhosen!" the germ-man cried out. "an even gianter lizard than the lizard himself!"
the germ-man had an annoying habit of calling me lizard... maybe up until now!
with his 'prey' in sigh larry let loose his great anti-foe weapon. the loudest angriest roar one can possibly pull off in tyrannosaurese.
you see back in the cretaceous we t-rexs (and our relatives in the tyrannosaurid family) were a mean and competitive lot. often there were squabbles over things like territory, pack membership, mates, and of course food. if you didn't particularly want to fight a fellow rex than you could try to intimidate them with your loud scream. if you sounded scary enough they might not want to risk harm by fighting you and back off (sadly though this only worked sometimes, and fights between t-rexs were a common thing... it's one of the reasons our skulls are so heavily built!).
even though larry did his battle cry in tyrannosaurese it is a fairly universal phrase in both saurian tongues, english, and you guessed it germ-an...oh man if this was what it was to be a t-rex maybe i was wrong about the whole thing!
as me and larry walked off laughing and planning a hunt into the forest we thought nothing more the germ-man...
which might have been a BIG mistake... cause contrary to our assumption he'd hide under his bed for the next week he got over his frieght fairly quickly...
"so those lizards think they can scare me, in my, heart do they?" he angerily growled. "well i shall return the favour then!!!"
yeah me and larry were dead wrong in thinking things with the germ-man were over...
to be continued...
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