pain in the neck!

after all the stuff peter has had me up to with these OH-lympics of his, i haven't had much time to myself.

so today i decided to sneak off and check out vancouver a little bit on my own.

holy smokes! i have to say there has been a lot of change since the last time i'd been here in town!

a weird forest made of paper had grown in the middle of downtown... which i thought was really weird. isn't paper made from trees? not that other way around.

not that i had to worry about this problem for very long!

you see despite sneaking off by myself, i hadn't planned to stay alone. hanging out with peter the whole time so far, i hadn't had a chance to properly catch up with who i'd really wanted too...

that was of course the theropod of my eye... lillian the albertosaur!!!

i'd paid for her and peter to go on a tour of the world, in an attempt to get lillian famous again (she'd been fired from the tyrrell like me). the last i'd heard from the two of them (before we all suddenly showed up here in vancouver anyway) both of them had been in new york city... which led me to the natural question. why weren't they still there anymore?

not that i was in a hurry to find out. i just enjoyed the stroll through the paper forest (though seriously what is up with it?!?) with lillian!

our destination was the beach front in west vancouver. the last time i'd been here, had marked a major shift in my life. i was kind of hoping for that again. only this time with lillian involved. oh and nose snuggling (a theropod's version of kissing... on account of our lack of proper mammalian style lips), lots of nose snuggling!

this time around i couldn't help but notice the giant inukshuk that stood by the beach. according to the arctic house, these big stone statues of people are the symbol of the OH-lympics. so i guess, despite not knowing what these OH-lympics are about yet, there is a connection between us dinosaurs and the OH-lympics for peter to try and make. inukshuks are made of stone, and we dinosaurs are found in stone...

which didn't really matter today!

i was for all intents and purposes on another date with lillian!!!

unlike all my other dates with lillian, this time i'd overcome her dislike of me. heck last time i saw her, lillian had given me a small nose snuggle! the equivalent of a human peck on the cheek, maybe not a full on smooch, but considering she tried to eat me the first time i asked her out... i was possibly really close to making lillian my mate!!!

of course one can't just rush into these things. especially since we had a lot of catching up to do. i'd had all my adventures in drumheller and calgary to tell her about! lillian thought they were quite amazing, and didn't entirely believe me in parts (especially dr. paradigm's kung fu!). not that i blame her, but they were the only stories i had to tell. believable or otherwise...

as for her adventures, i was surprised by what i heard. as far as lillian could tell peter had pulled them out of new york for no reason at all. she'd been a big hit in the american museum of natural history's galleries. peter had maintained that lillian was a welcome addition to the museum. yet lillian leveled with me, peter had always seemed to be constantly arguing with the museum's staff about something. though she couldn't figure out what about, as the staff was really nice towards her (and usually peter... just not when he talked to them about one thing things got a little tense).

oh well. i trust peter with making lilllian famous again. what else are special talent agents for?

with the catch up complete it was now time to try and win over lillian's heart. the problem is i don't have a whole lot of experience with wooing the ladies... so i had to kind of make stuff up.

humans are all about touching and stuff, something we theropods aren't naturally all that into. physical contact usually means we're having problems with each other, and will lead more often to a fight then a date. still sadly i'm more human in some ways than t-rex. so i tried something i'd seen humans do on the TV a few times.

i started rubbing lillian's shoulders. at first she didn't notice, on account of how light i am in comparison. if you think a human shoulder can be tense, wait till you try a full grown tyrannosaurid one! as i worked my full weight into the task of massaging lillian she began to notice.

at first i worried i'd anger her, but much to my surprise lillian was really enjoying the neck rub.

"oh my," she said rather blissful. "what are you doing?"

"its called a massage," i informed her, almost panting. it was a ton of effort to smooth out muscle bundles that were as big as me!!!

"i've never had anything this amazing before," she said arching her whole front half into me, so that i could work deeper into the muscle.

okay so now we were getting somewhere! now i just had to think of what to do after this... though for the time being the neck massage was going so well i could just continue while i tried to think of my next move.

i'm sure i would have thought of something, but the most unexpected thing ruined the moment. a number of scents had been gently rolling in from behind us. i'd been trying to ignore them and focus on the great moments i was having with lillian. especially as i figured like most weird smells in the big city they'd fade away.

however these smells didn't go away. if anything more of them started to build up. finally one particularly good waft of wind caused both me and lillian instinctively raised our heads. "are those..." lillian started to ask, but before she could finish we both looked up to the obvious answer.

all around us were a bunch of other dinosaurs!!!

a few of whom i knew, but most i didn't... not that it mattered.

all that mattered was that they'd all just interrupted my best date with lillian yet! the worst part, i didn't even know why. though i had my suspicions that peter knew a thing or two about it...

next: let the games begin!

we're going to have to be everywhere? (oh-lympics part 2)

my special talent agent peter bond has brought me to vancouver for something called the winter Oh-lympics. he thinks that it might be just the way for me and lillian albertosaur to get famous.

i could care less about that. i'm more excited just to get to see the theropod of my dreams once again. last time i saw lillian she'd been devastated by losing her stardom (again!). hopefully all the time with peter (and the money i've spent to fund their expedition) will have put her in better spirits.

there'd been no fallout from peter's stealing an Oh-lympic torch and making me run it... though it'd been a close call.

as the torch relay moved on, every one's attention had left with it. leaving me and peter pretty much alone.

"that didn't go quite the way i'd planned," peter admitted out loud, clearly disappointed. "i'd kind of hoped a tyrannosaur running the torch for a leg of the relay would have been all the rage. oh well. you win some and you lose most. the key is to keep your eye on the gold."

"why gold, and why not steel?" i asked confused. "last i heard steel was stronger than gold anytime."

"i think we need to get you some lessons on this whole olympic thing," peter considered out loud. he then snapped into full fast motion. "not right now though. now we get ready for a busy couple of weeks!"

"how do we do that?" i asked. peter answered with something, but i didn't take notice at all. within a moment of asking my question a most welcome smell filtered through the air (peter's kinda weak human nose wouldn't have picked up on it so he happily talked on).

"so we get together as a 'team', and figure out our game plan," peter concluded whatever his long answer had been. it was at this moment our other team member approached. LILLIAN!

i've never been so happy to say hello to anyone ever! lillian was happy to see me too, which i have to admit was still something new to me. back in the old days lillian hardly acknowledged my existence. who knew spending thousands of dollars on a world tour would pay off like this?

speaking of the world tour, i had to find out how that had been going. fortunately we were conversing in tyrannosaurese so peter couldn't ease drop much (he was only just starting to pick up a few phrases of our language lillian complained, and only if she spoke really slowly. meaning our conversational speed would lose him quick), which was probably a good thing. not everything lillian had to say was nice.

not that lillian disliked peter. quite the contrary. for a human she found him both pleasant, and incredibly supportive. however she also found him incredibly confusing. she had little idea of what she was most of the time. that alone why she was now suddenly in vancouver. they'd both left new york abruptly with no warning.

i thought they'd found a good spot for lillian there. what happened to make these Oh-lympics more important?

interrupting this discussion a tourist spotting me and lillian eagerly requested (of peter of course... we lowly dinosaurs can't choose for ourselves) that she take a picture of us. "they'd be more than delighted!"peter eagerly responded.

as peter forced us into a pose (well okay forced me... lillian was a bit big for him to man handle) i had to ask peter. "why are we in vancouver?"
"that is a good question," peter replied, but paused to put a big smile on for a shot. "the whole world's eyes are on here right now! meaning if we can get into view, everyone will see us, and that will mean we can hit the big time, baby!!!"

"so how do we get 'seen'?" i asked confused on what he meant. i had another picture of me snapped that moment... weren't people seeing me already?

"that is the thing," peter levelled without dropping his smile. "there is no one easy answer to that. we can't just stand around taking pictures like these," me and lillian too this as permission to stop posing, but peter barked. "but we will as long as people want snap shots!" we both got back into position (if you'd worked at a museum as long as the both of us you'd be sick of people taking your picture too).

"no, its not just one tourist shot at a time," peter said building to more. "we must become part of the olympics themselves. no matter how or why. we want tyrannosaurs and/or albertosaurs to be the lasting memory of vancouver 2010 the world takes from these games."

"so you want us to be mascots?" lillian asked slightly unimpressed. her whole life she'd been a mascot, and it wasn't that she hated doing it (rather the opposite in fact). she just didn't like peter talking it up like he'd just done.

peter just blinked at her. he hadn't understood her. i translated into english. "oh good!" peter said relieved. "for a minute i thought she wanted a man sandwich! mascot versus man, i'll have to remember that."

"i suppose if it comes to that my big gal," peter answered lillian. "we're up against some tight competition in that department. they've got some mighty fine mascots already lined up for these events."

"no we need to figure out some way for one or both of you to become the official dinosaur of the olympics," he outlined. "i don't care how or what it takes, but that is our goal. we won't stop for the next 2 weeks until that occurs!"

to be continued... with a makeover

one of the greatest dinosaur halls ever! (new york part 3)

well today was a huge day... though not for me.

for who you might ask? and why would i bother telling you about someone else's big day?

well partially because i am funding their whole effort, and their two very important beings to me (one dinosaur and the other human) i thought it'd be worth mentioning.

after talking to peter bond and eee-mailing lillian the albertosaur, i was getting kind of anxious about them getting to their goal of the american museum of natural history in new york city.

well as of this morning, i can stop worrying. peter gave me a call telling me they'd arrived safe and sound...

more to the point, they were in the perfect spot for lillian to trying and work her way back up to stardom.

not that the american museum of natural history (AMNH from here on in... man that is a lot of typing in the long version!) is an easy place for a dinosaur to stand out in! the place has many many of them, and their some of the most spectacular specimens and exhibits in the world!

right away when you first step in the door you are greeted by the colossal mount of a barosaurus rearing into the air defending its young from a marauding allosaurus.

_

lillian joked that she is glad that our kind (the tyrannosauids) didn't really have to hunt prey of this magnitude.

of course the prime attraction for dinosaur fans are the TWO dinosaur halls... which as impressive as they are, only make up a tiny part of the HUGE whole of the AMNH. as peter and lillian only gave me pics of the dino hall that's all your going to see here today. if you go to visit the AMNH expect to see a LOT more than just this though!

you'll not the lovely apatosaurus (or brontosaurus... i personally like brontosaurus more, but that's the bakker fanatic in my talking) skeleton mount behind lillian and peter. sadly this is the only good photo of it they sent me. apparently it is so big it's hard to photograph.

peter's plan was for lillian to have a similar role here in the AMNH's dinosaur halls to the one she used to have at the royal tyrrell. she'd be the vivus-dinosaur making the rounds so that people could see a living dinosaur. not a common thing at most museums.

the best part being that the AMNH doesn't currently have a resident dinosaur for lillian to have to compete with!

while lillian was breaking into this new role, a very pleased peter (than again when isn't he pleased come to think of it?) wandered the hall and took some pictures of the residents to show me.

man oh man, it is like my dinosaurs of alberta post on display! sooooo cool.

a big part of why alberta's dinosaurs are so iconic and famous is their being on display in this musuem for almost a hundred years (some have been here 98 years!!! since they were first found in the great canadian dinosaur rush...).

so first off the dinosaur beside peter in the picture above is barnum brown's rather lovely styracosaurus found in 1915. darren tanke relocated this guy's quarry in 2006 and has found that brown left behind much of this skeletons skull (a lot of this particular skeleton's skull is reconstructed with plaster). so it may get a move over soonish with this new material.

a very cool specimen to see is this panel mounted centrosaurus. if you recall this was part of the case study of darren's i took you through to see how he finds lost and mystery quarrys. very cool to see it is still on display. found in 1914 by brown, if you don't recall that particular detail.

rounding off the albertan ceratopsians here is barnum's anchiceratops from 1912.

one of the most spectacular nodosaurid remains yet found, this edmontonia was found in 1915 by brown, but did not receive its current name till much later.

also on display are barunum's first ankylosaurus from montana, and his much nicer alberta one.

one of the most important historic skeletons on display is that of saurolophus. this is THE first complete dinosaur skeleton ever found in canada by brown in 1911.

they also have a some lovely lambeosaurus skulls.

they also have the first complete corythosaurus found, that also had a large portion of it covered in skin impressions (just out of view of the camera in this picture sadly!). it was found by brown in 1912.

also on display was this enigmatic duckbill here. initially it was thought to be a small species of hadrosaur that they called procheneosaurus, we now know this was a juvenile lambeosaurus (though a couple scientists are pushing corythosaur... but most think lambeo).

wrapping up the first dinosaur hall tour (the ornithischia hall) peter included photos of two of the more impressive NON albertan dinosaurs on display. though funny enough both have been found in alberta, these ones are from the states.

_

this includes the classic triceratops. peter should be smiling. that is the exact skelatal mount that appeared in all my favourite dinosaur books as a hatchling!

they also have this pair of nice anatotitans, though there is a chance these are just a pair of slightly bigger skulled edmontosaurus.

in the theropod hall is barnum brown's 1914 response to his boss henry osborn requesting brown to try and find more small theropods for the AMNH. man did brown deliver. only a fossil hunter of his legendary calibur could go out and meet a specific request like this. most of us just stumble into things. not say i'm going to find an X today, and go find it!

_

brown was the man!

here is a medium sized gorgosaurus found by levi and charles sr. sternberg in 1917. they tried to sell it to the british, but when they didn't want this specimen, the AMNH purchased it. originally thinking it was a new species it was named after the sternbergs, which i thought was rather sporting of brown. as the sternbergs were his main competitors during the dinosaur rush.

we now today recognize this as simple a juvenile gorgosaurus.

there is also this rather impressive mount of an adult gorgosaurus.

finishing off peter's photo tour of the AMNH's saurischian gallery was him posing with barnum brown's famous tyrannosaurus rex. the first ever found, in montana if your wondering where.

i was thankful to peter for taking me on this tour. keeping it mind this is only the alberta highlights (with a few extra american dinos peter thought were cool). the AMNH has tons more dinosaurs in this hall, and of course again a TON more all in one building. if your in the area it is a must goto.

_

sadly i won't be around there anytime soon. so i'm just going to have to enjoy peter's photos, and hope that lillian invites me to visit her someday.

_

speaking of lillian, peter sent this as a concluding photo. lillian interacting with a visitor to the museum. bond assures me that lillian has been a hit in her first day, and that he is going to try to negotiate with the AMNH to keep her on full time.

i can only hope he is successful. so i wait with some anticipation to hear good news from new york.

hopefully this plan of mine will see lillian made real happy, and i will finally make an impression in her heart...

a dinosaur that never sleeps... (new york part 2)

i get lots of eee-mail these days, and though i don't normal post most of it, i thought this would be a virtual exchange you the people of the innerweb might like to read.

it's an eee-mail from lillian the albertosaur!

_

hello traumador?

i can't not be sure you are seeing this. i do not understand how this human letter projecting box works...

it has been a few months since i last saw you. i just wanted you to know i miss you very much. especially given the only company i currently have is so. well, unpredictable.

do not get me wrong. i appreciate what you did for me, but this peter human is very full on. though it can be motivating at times, the fact his enthusiasm and determination doesn't cease can be a little off putting sometimes.

be that as it may, peter has so far done what he set out to do. that is bring us to new york city. here he hopes to get me a job at the american museum of natural history.

new york is very different from anywhere else i've been to. it is big. much bigger than even melbourne, which i thought was a large human gathering. new york has many more humans, more than i imagined could be in one place. i can't not even begin to describe the smell of so many of them at once! [we tyrannosaurs have one of the best senses of smell known in the animal kingdom]

new york has been living up to its nickname, a city that never sleeps! as there are no hotels or accommodations that will allow me to stay in them, peter and i have been forced to wander around town till tomorrow morning till the museum opens. yet we are not the only ones wake here.

awesome to hear from you lillian!

no problems reading you on the "letter projecting box", or as the humans call it a puter. i got your eee-mail just fine.

glad you and peter are making progress. i have noticed he is cheerful all the time too. just one of his quirks i guess. no harm has ever come from being positive though has it?... actually come to think of it i've never looked that up.

i wish i could check out new york! though the potential of smelling millions of people at once doesn't sound entirely fun.

how have you been finding not being able to sleep in new york? what have you guys been doing to occupy the time?

why you would want to come to such a concentration of mammals i do not understand, traumdor.

i do find it interesting though that there is plenty to keep us occupied despite the fact it is dark. it has always struck me that humans lack the drive to do anything in the night. unlike those of us who are true hunters. i have always felt alive at night, as though prey might be at hand in the gloom. it is nice to have finally found a place i can act up on my instincts.


not that it is anything like nighttime here. with the number of light orbs they have around this place it is almost as bright as dusk or dawn!

the peter human has been keeping us on the move. he says it'll help not only keep us awake, but generate interest. as of such he has had me parading up and down the streets of this city. which somehow feels wrong.

maybe it is the eerily flat "ground", the sky being blocked out by giant cubes, or the fact i'm completely surrounded by mammals on foot or in wheeled moving containers. this place has me weirded out.

despite this, the one thing i do appreciate while journeying around this city. is that most of the humans are completely unmoved by the sight of me. normally they cower or act in panic. here they simply act like i'm curiosity as opposed to the bringer of doom. even their enforcers barely responded to me. anywhere else i've been outside of a museum these enforcers would have been trying to cordon me off.

i guess that's to be expected. new york has seen a lot of stranger and scarier things than you...

bad guys of every variety including super villians, not to mention the action and super heroes that fight them all. they've had many many run ins with aliens. all manner of scary things have haunted that city too zombies, vampires, and ghosts (though they also have the real ghostbusters there, so its all good!). even my main man godzilla's little mutant cousin romped through there once.

what are you going on about?!?

i do not understand this nonsense you're going on about.

oh sorry. just a bunch of stuff i saw in some documentaries on the TV.

point is based on what i've seen of new york, typically you don't have much to worry about. even if things get hairy and the city is destroyed, they seem to rebuild it every time... in the amount of time it takes for the end credits to segue into the evening news! can you believe that!

it must be nice to be in a place where people aren't terrified of dinosaurs. now i really want to go. i'm looking for such a place!


i find i miss you less talking to you again on this puter box. i hope it is merely the meaning of your words is lost as they travel the world. or is that you truly are so stupid?

this place has been perfectly safe. for me in any case. peter human has had some frightful moments when he was approached by darkly clothed mammals. he claims everything "was just peachy", but i could smell the fear he was emitting. i wonder are these stealthy humans predators of some kind?

if so, it is good to see they know their place in the food chain. for they left peter human alone when i'd stand over him.

there is only a few more hours before morning and the museum opens. peter human is hoping they'll let me sleep somewhere within, and he can find his own sleeping territory.

i hope you are finding something worthwhile in drumheller. i miss our old home, and very much wish we could trade places. that way you could visit your precious dinosaur "friendly" city, and i could return to a place where we can at least exist.

do tyrannosaurs like apples?... (world tour: new york part 1)

i got a most unexpected surprise today! my phone rang. which as you might know people of the innerweb, typically in my life means something kinda big is going to happen... good and/or more often bad...

in my usual small brained fashion, i'd forgotten that it wasn't just me having fun and adventures away from "home"...

for while i am back here in drumheller reconnecting with my past, two other significant people in my life are off wandering the world about to have their own adventures.

that was of course my special talent agent peter bond, and the girl of my dreams lillian the albertosaur.


it was none other than peter on the other end of the phone call when i picked up. "hey there big guy, you'll never guess where me and lillian are right now!"

i had no clue... they could be anywhere!

i'd of course entrusted peter, my agent, with helping the theropod goddess lillian try to reclaim her lost stardom. to do this he insisted the two of them might have to hit a few places around the world... a trip i was footing the bill for.

before peter could draw out the guessing game any longer... which i could tell he desperately wanted to... i heard lillian in the background growl in tyrannosaurese "new york," which of course i repeated to peter in english...

peter was floored as to how i figured it out. lillian gave a tyrannosaur version of a laugh (which sounds kinda long soft grumble) as she understood english, but couldn't speak it unlike me (almost all modern vivus-dinosaurs can understand their local human language, just most can't speak it). i thought it was pretty funny too.
_

"well anyways," peter said recomposing himself after losing his sure fire game. "we're here in the big apple, and about to see if we can get lillian a full time gig."

that was terrific news!!! if peter could pull that off, not only would lillian's troubles be gone, but she'd be in one of the most interesting cities on the planet!

"so we'll be in touch as things develop here my main man," peter assured me. "come on lillian we've got a date with destiny!"

i couldn't wait to hear, hopefully, good news...

so to peter and lillian i think good luck...

to be continued...

THE goodbye (the big date conclusion)

today was not how i pictured things going people of the web wide world...

especially after all the planning and imagining i'd done if i did finally get to see lillian again. nope this was not like that at all. though it could have gone a LOT worse mind you.

professor paradigm, earlier today, had ended lillian's current job, leaving her an unemployed and stranded dinosaur. in australia of all places... rather than leave the girl of my dreams to the harsh whims of fortune i decided to take action!

i had entrusted lillian's future with my special talent agent peter bond, but this was not without its problems. i'm paying for it, and not just lillian's part of it either but peter's too. it also means that lillian will be leaving the far south. the worst thing though is that lillian was furious at me for doing this for her.

i was determined though, to be the one who saved her... especially considering the troubles she'd been having due to the pack of the primordial feather before all this. i needed to make sure someone was going to be watching her back, and it sadly couldn't be me, so peter was the only other person i trusted capable of the task .

still lillian wasn't too happy about it as we walked her towards the airport. she wouldn't even walk near me at first.

everytime i'd try to start up a conversation about something we passed, she'd ignore it or worse growl.

it was as we got halfway through downtown the silence finally broke. we went by one of the many horse drawn carriages that go up and down town. "that's pretty neat don't you think?" i suggested to lillian. i didn't particular think through whether she'd find it neat or not. i sure thought it was though.

suddenly lillian finally spoke, and it was not in a happy tone any way you break it down. "how dare you pretend to know what i think!" she accused, taking my wording a little too literally. "the instant my thoughts are as simple as a pathetic runt like yours, i'd rather be extinct!"

"i don't," i matter of factly corrected her . "i don't pretend to know how anyone else thinks." i sadly mumbled to myself. i'd always wanted to be able to think as well as everyone else. how can you pretend to know what they think, when you can't think that well yourself?

"is that so? you could have fooled me," lillian challenged. "if you don't, than why is that you just presumed i would be willing to fly around the world at the whim of some human you know's?!?"

"because i thought you'd appreciate the help," i angrily grumbled. i was getting really depressed and angry at the same time now. not only had i failed with lillian, but now she was just rubbing my face in it. had she not asked her next question in the way she did i probably would have just stormed off, leaving her to fend for herself in australia.

"why would you do that? why would you care if i appreciated it or not?" lillian demanded.

had she not heard me earlier? was she deliberately trying to get me to embarrass myself out loud again... like i didn't feel bad enough already.

"because," i started but paused. the last time i'd said this to her, she tried to eat me! "because i love you."

"what that again?" she said in an unbelieving tone. "i thought you'd out grown that foolish human-like behaviour after that stupid stunt you pulled at the tyrrell."

"what does that have to do with me acting human?" i demanded.

"humans are the only ones who think mating is for life," she stated. "our ancestors never pretended such nonsense!"

that was it. i wasn't being nice anymore! "oh how stupid of me," i mocked. "you're right i should be more like our ancestors, and oh i don't know, join the pack while i'm at it!"

i pushed my point. "what is so wrong with me trying to catch up with the modern world?" i pleaded. "sure i make a lousy dinosaur, but look around you lillian. the law of the jungle died out a long time ago with our ancestors. you can't make it in this world without adapting. you can try to play life like one of our ancestors, but you'll end up where you are now or worse the humans run the show. if we don't play by their rules than they'll let us fade back into just the past..."

"look at me though. i haven't been playing make belief like larry and his goons that this is still the mesozoic. i'm making it on my own. all because i'm pretending to be human," i concluded. much of my anger was gone. though i was left out of steam. if she tried to be mean again i wasn't in the mood to fight back, and i was just going to leave.

instead lillian stood stunned staring at me. it was the most unusual minute or so of my life. to say it was awkward would be to imply her stare was somehow ill mannered. to say it was a natural pause would imply i hadn't just poured my heart out.

finally she responded. not so much in words, but rather with a...

muzzle nudge. the tyrannosaurian version of a kiss!!!

"i'm sorry," lillian said difficultly. for female of her status (or at least former status) to admit to someone so low as she treated me apologizing must have been really hard to do. "i'd never considered you were serious about any of it. i thought you were just a juvenile pretending to be an adult," she admitted, and quickly added. "it is probably just your height and stature fooling me about your age." ouch. just cause i'm small doesn't mean i don't matter!

"it's also," she continued. "i'm not used to one of our kind trying to help me out. at least not without a major cost," she confessed. "can you forgive me?"

hmmm let's see. forgive the hottest theropod i've ever met... haven't been able to stop thinking about her since i was 3 years old... the only other coelurosaurid not too join the pack... most important just gave me a nose snuggle hmmm

"of course i do," i said with great relief.

she cautioned though. "though, this doesn't mean i love you back." i knew she sort of meant. yet there was twinkle in her eye that didn't quite make me think she completely meant it!

"fair enough," i allowed as not to push the subject.

how's that people of the web wide world? my whole first date with lillian the albertosaur didn't end in total disaster. granted it was no ubber success either. i'm not sure what this is.

getting her to the airport, security had a little bit of a problem with a full grown tyrannosaurid showing up unannounced. i'd blog about it, but due to their insistence i not in exchange for lillian's processing onto a flight, i of course can't.

needless to say lillian has left my life once again... only this time i have a feeling i will see her again. than... than people of the innerweb... i swear i'll do all that i can to make her mine!

THE call (world tour part 0)

the fairy tale is over people of the innerweb...

true love didn't prevail... why do movies and TV always lie to me?!? with a brain the size of mine, and my lack of instincts for this modern human world the only place i have to take my cue from is the media, and they always get it wrong!

at the same time its not all bad.

in the immediate aftermath of professor paradigm ending lillian's current job (which he did 5 minutes before my second date with the tyrannosaurid of my dreams! jerk!!!) she has no one for support other than me...

the problem being i wasn't prepared for this at all... i did as i'd planned and took her to the zoo this afternoon which took her mind off things for a little while, but of course reality crept back in right after.

i have this really far fetched (and no doubt stupid, but with only a peanut glop of grey matter what am i too do) plan that could help her. it bums me out though. it'll mean that i probably won't see her for a long time...

granted i'm not sure why i have myself so worked up about this. we were both going to be leaving australia anyways (in my case soon!). its not like lillian would have left the show to come with me (though i guess i could have left new zealand to be with her... hmmm why didn't i think of that sooner!!!)...

oh well i guess with that in mind i got to be the knight in shiny armour (or is that hunter in thick scales?).

my plan went down something like this (it wasn't really a complicated plan):



i got out my "cell"phone and made a call.

who did i call?

can you guess?

none other than my special talent agent peter bond!

he was as usual very pleased to hear from. "traumador, my main saurian how have you been doing?" he asked.

"funny you should ask!" i forewarned him. i quickly relayed the whole tale of lillian's current woes.

"that is quite the problem isn't it..." peter said as he was clearly digesting what i'd told him. though for what purpose i'm not sure. i hadn't got to the plan. simply the back story.

"this professor guy actually told annex corp. to back off, and he's still in one piece?" peter asked in an unbelieving voice. "i really need to get him in my talent pool!"

"i guess so, but who cares!" i answered a little annoyed. the professor's well being was the least of my concern. especially after what he did to lillian! "look peter there is something i need you to do for me."

"of course, traum, that's what i'm here for as your agent," he assured me. funny him saying that though. he keeps saying nice things, but peter hasn't always been there for me sadly.

i was possibly taking a big gamble i felt, with what i was about to say. "i need you to take lillian on as your client, and i want you to find her a place worthy of her talents."

"you what?" i could hear peter sit up with notice.

beside me lillian (in tyrannosaurese) "you what?"

right i hadn't told her the plan either... i'd been spending all day trying to have a real date. "this is the only way," i tried to reassure lillian.

lillian's self importance kicked back in. "you have some nerve! a tiny thing like you telling me what do!!!" she bellowed.

two years ago i'd never have stood up to this saurian babe. today i managed to. just in a really nice way... "lillian do you seriously have anywhere else to go?" i reminded her. "you've tried doing it on your own. this last show, you said it yourself, was the last hope you had. it didn't work out. now its time to let someone else try for you."

she eyed me with suspicion. "why would you want to help me this much?"

oh man she had me in a corner. i thought she knew, but clearly she hadn't caught the clues. i was going to have to make the biggest admission of my life. "because i love you," i said it out loud. i couldn't take it back... lillian simply blinked her eyes in astonishment.

interrupting my concentration on this slightly awkward moment was peter's repeated screaming from the phone still in my hand. "traumador?!? are you okay??? TRAUMADOR?!?"

"what? i'm right here and fine," i asked him like he was dumb.

"oh thank the budget!" peter sighed in relief. "i was thinking the worst, what with that growling and snarling... where in the blazes are you, and more to the point what beast is after you?!?"

"what?" i complained not understanding what he was on about... that was till it hit me. "oh sorry peter. that was me talking to lillian. she doesn't speak english like me."

"oh well, that is a relief," peter sighed. "so based on the sound she's producing this lillian is a fully grown tyrannosaurus than?"

"albertosaur," i corrected (to see the difference between an albertosaur and t-rex click here). "yeah she's fully grown. you only really have to worry about me and my lack of height. i'm the only midget tyrannosaurid alive today."

"so let me get this straight. you want me to market a fully grown tyrannosaur," peter started.

though he quickly self corrected himself when he detected my nearly correcting him. "sorry albertosaur. market a full grown albertosaur, which if is basically just a slightly smaller t-rex?" i could almost hear the gears in peter's agenty brain. "i think could swing something."

"do you think you can pull it off," i demanded.

"traumador, as we speak i'm at a way over crowded beach party where anyone who is anyone is at," peter boasted, but coughed for some reason... "the world knows no limit to my connections."

whatever, i was impressed. i could just picture him rubbing elbows with the rich and famous, and putting the idea in their head that they could hire the most spectacular theropod in the world. just think what one of them could do for lillian?!?

"there's only one thing," peter warned me. "i'm going to need to be able to 'handle' lillian's affairs for the first while," he quickly added. "if what you tell me about the pack harassing her is true. we can't be too careful."

i took a deep breath. i saw this coming. peter was right. the pack of the pack of the primordial feather had been trying at nothing else to ruin lillian's life. what was going to stop them from trying again. at least with peter using his connections and influence someone would be watching her back.

"i had the same thought too," i agreed. "i'm totally prepared to pay for both of your expenses with my own money. so long as you promise me peter, that she'll be your top priority. i want nothing more than for her to be happy."

there i'd done it. it had taken me over 2 years to get some money. the one thing that can give a dinosaur power and freedom in the human world, and i was just handing it away. it was going to be worth it i told myself. it's not like i was really going to be happy anyway with lillian miserable.

"both of us you say," peter repeated enthusiastically. i'm not sure why. "it's a deal traum!"

we quickly discussed the terms of the payment, which was easy as peter has some control over my bank account anyway.

"alright traumador you tell this lillian lady of yours we're taking her back to the top!" peter declared. "i have just the gig in mind to get things rolling. you need to book her a flight to new york as soon as possible!"

with that we concluded our phone call. there i'd done it.

not that lillian was happy yet. if anything she just starred at me coldly, clearly angry at me... i don't get it? shouldn't she be really happy with me for what i was about to give up for her...

i had until the airport to change things around. otherwise i was going to be the one forever miserable. why was it the girl of my dreams was furious with me?

what's that saying my legal guardian used to say? "no good deed goes unpunished."

to be concluded...