i got carded!

T-Minus: 0 Days...

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well the moment of truth has come people of the innerweb. i had to prove to both the new zealand departments of conservation and immigration that i'd met their criteria for me to stay in the country.

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so with my proof of a home (the botanic garden), a job (at the otago museum), and 3 signed testimonials to my character (from andrew, owain, and ben the gardener) in hand i went into the government building.

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for what seemed like forever the agents milled over my proof, not letting me know if it was good or not...

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then finally 2 hours later...

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i got my official status declared. i'm now a truely landed extracontinential organism! even better i got this cool ID card! just like a human would get!

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now like everything else in life (or at least my life) it wasn't all fun and games. though immigration was done with me, the department of conservation had only begun.

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as of this point i am officially an endangered species of new zealand. after all they don't have any other dinosaurs here (that alone tyrannosaurs!) meaning that if anything bad happens to me we'll be extinct here in new zealand.

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as they take extinction very seriously down here (my kinda people really) the conservation directives they warned me about 2 months ago are now in strict effect!

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Any individaul or population of tyrannasaurus rex traumadorius:

• A. May not engage in any behaviour or activity that might threaten individual's or population's well being or survivial

• B. May not engage in any behaviour or activity that will alter or disrupt New Zealand natural habitats, species, or ecosystems

• C. Must report to the DOC (Department of Conservation) any change in habitat, territory, or ecosystem within 24 hours of change

• D. May not breed within New Zealand without permission from the D.O.C.

• E. Must report any and all predation of native species to the D.O.C. (with a possibility of violation of clause B.)

• F. Must assist in research efforts at better understanding species biologic and conservation needs and issues

• G. Must cooperate with D.O.C. agents and officers in any capacity or function they deem necessary to protect New Zealand's environment
  

so i'll have to be sure to remember all of these (oh man, with a brain the size of mine that isn't the easiest thing to pull off!)

the D.O.C. says that for now it will let me settle into my new habitat free from human interference, but that i need to give them some means of contacting me in the future. their not through with me they say. not by a "long shot"... wonder what that means?

well people of the web wide world. as much fun as it was to deal with the countdown i'm about ready on starting my new life!

one last look... (counted down part 2)

T-Minus: 1 day!!!!!!!!!!!!

(why didn't i buy that time machine off the internet?!?)

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Location: Botanic Garden

Objective: I have none...

well people of the web wide world it is over. my quest to get into new zealand. my last hope of fulfilling the government's criteria has failed utterly...

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tomorrow when i fail to present all the requirements for my immigration their going to ship me back to canada (i sure hope i don't have to pay for that!!!)...

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meaning that this was my last day to enjoy new zealand. i had wanted to see so much more of it then dunedin and a few airports... now to boot i don't have much of a day left at that... i hadn't even get to check out all of the otago museum...

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first thing was first. i was going to have to head back to salmond hall and get all my stuff out of craig's room... after everything that has happened with him i don't want to make him any more angry with me...

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well okay that is second thing. at least i can enjoy one last walk through the botanic garden... i'm going to miss the garden. it is by far my favorite thing in dunedin. i was really sad realizing that after this i might very well never see it again...

as i came up to the end of my depressing trek there was one of the many gardeners working away making the place so nice and pretty...

i tried to walk past him so not to interrupt his work. i've already messed up enough people's lives trying to settle here in new zealand. why bother one more i thought...

as i attempted to sneak by he looked up though and said hello...

this took me by total surprise. why would anybody bother to say hello to me?

"i've seen you around here a bunch lately." the gardener said. oh no i thought. was i somehow in trouble?

"have i done something wrong?" i hesitantly asked.

"gracious no!" he laughed. "it's just different seeing a dinosaur walk through my garden is all what's your name?"

i told him who i was.

"ah well a pleasure to meet you. my name is ben. i'm the head gardener here of the botanic gardens." he smiled.

"you look a lot more down then normal mr. the tyrannosaur." he observed. "what's bothering you?"

oh man. what wasn't... so i told him all about my troubles. my being kicked out of new zealand. how i'd messed everything up with getting my life back on track. how this was my last time in the gardeners very beautiful garden.

"it's too bad i couldn't just stay here for the rest of my life." i mused about the garden. won't that have been too easy a solution...

suddenly ben started thinking. wasn't quite sure why, but he was deep in contemplation. wish i had a nice big human brain...

the next words out of his mouth made me think i was dreaming or something...

"frankly i couldn't see any reason that you couldn't just live here in the gardens." he said. "afterall i'm in charge. No point in being that if you can't decide the rules. besides who ever heard of a tyrannosaur living outside a jungle?" he laughed again.

i hadn't been that happy in a long time! i jumped up and gave him a high five!

oh boy! i couldn't wait to tell craig. more to the point the government was going to be satisfied.

"thanks so much mister!" i jabbered. "you won't regret this! i'll be the best tenant ever! i'll move in tomorrow!"

with that i ran off to go and tell craig the good news, and grab my stuff. oh man can you believe that. just like that everything went from disaster to miracle! this doesn't happen except in the movies (well i guess that is no longer true!).

okay those government criteria weren't too bad. tomorrow when i presented proof of my job, my new address, and handed in my 2 testimonials i'd be set to become a permanent... wait a second... 2 testimonials... i needed 3... AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

then an idea hit my tiny brain!

running back up to ben i asked "uh ben would you mind signing this?"

"what is it?" he asked caught off guard.

"uh i just need... you to sign this saying i've moved into the garden." i replied.

"they have a form for that?" ben hesitated.

"oh yeah. you know how the department of conservation is." i lied.

"won't this be for immigration?" ben inquired.

"that's who i meant..." oh man i needed him to sign that form...

he looked at the form for a second thinking about it. i couldn't look him in the face. i just blew everything with this lying thing...

then he just signed it. i couldn't believe it!

i snagged it the second he was done writing. i couldn't afford him finding out i'd lied to him about it...

come to think of it i hope he isn't mad about me doing that...

fortunately for me he seems to have not really cared. he was just a little confused is all...

like that he just went back to maintaining his garden...

well can you believe that people of the web wide world?

just like that one little trip through the garden and everything falls into place...

i'll have to make sure i make it up to ben. my being so hasty and all. not only did he just get me out of the biggest pickle ever, but i guess he's also my land lord now!

okay next up i need to get into the government and prove i met all the criteria...

To Be Concluded

my hopes in the balance... (counted down part 1)

T-Minus: 1 Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(okay i always knew i was a last minute kinda dinosaur, but this is a bit too close for even me!)

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Location: Otago Museum

Objective: Work, Home, Signature

okay well yet another day at work. however this is NOT like any other day...

this is my LAST day to meet my government criteria! if i fail then i'm in big trouble. like a trouble bigger then any i've ever known!

i'll be deported back to canada... where having no money... i'll be homeless... jobless... friendless... and worst of all surrounded by dinosaurs once again.

my only hope is that today i can convince my bosses here at the otago museum to help me with my last two outstanding criteria by:

• lending me some money so i can rent a place to live ( not just for the government either! craig has told me i have to move out by tomorrow!)

• sign a testimonial as to my dependability

i can't see why they won't say yes to these simple requests. if they don't they'd be out an employee. considering i'm still learning the job does it really make sense to let go such a new fresh asset? my peanut brain is telling me no...

i still have the shift to go though. now that i've gotten a bit more of a handle on my duties i'm feeling a little more brave to wander the museum compared to earlier. not too far from the lobby mind you, but still cool things to just a few metres inside each gallery.

in the discovery corner one of my favs. a microbe-scope! nothing screams science and discovery much more then a microbe-scope (well other then museum!)...

lying nearby were some nice specimens of various things to look at, and get a feel for being a sciencey person...

i've always wished i could be a scientist... people looking up to me cause i'm smart and know stuff. just imagine that... oh well sigh... i can't even meet 3 little criteria from the government. that alone become really smart and educated...

the microbe-scope is pretty fun though! i really enjoyed looking at this horseshoe crab (a critter from the era of us dinosaurs in fact...) up close. real close!

this could be a handy tool in the future!

today i decided i should really check out the third floor. after all if something securityey were to go down up here i'd better at least have a rough idea of what i was getting into...

stepping into the "natural history" (didn't know history could occur unnaturally!?!) gallery i was shocked to look up and see that i wasn't actually in the building! i was outside in a starry night sky! what the?

this was a silly way to design a museum gallery! what happened to visitors if it was a really bad day outside?

then i realized this wasn't actually the sky, the sun was just setting outside (well that and there was a sign saying that this was a recreation of the universe...). oops.

pretty though.

just beyond that was the "actual" natural history gallery (as opposed to empty space...). man the roof of this particular gallery is full of fun stuff...

up in the air hung a giant carnivorous jaw bone (based on the characteristic teeth!). for a second i didn't know what to think... wow cool a giant meat eating thing!... or oh man is this thing going to eat me?... perhaps is that from a prehistoric critter? cause it was pretty big, and i know they don't evolve anymore like they used too...

it in fact turns out to be from a sperm whale. which apparently not only is alive today, but in the waters here around new zealand! wow cool! i gotta try and see me one of these!

well after this fun, but distracting exploring time to get back to work... wandering back into the lobby to resume my patrol of the whole museum i made one last cool find. the skeleton of a sea turtle... not as impressive as a mesozoic archelon, but again things just aren't as big as they were in the old skool days. kinda sad to see the bones of one of these guys. their much pretty in the water like the one at the vancouver aquarium...

keeping watch over the whole entry ways in the museum from the lobby may be efficient, but boy is it boring!

the shift just seemed to take forever. finally though as morning broke i was relieved of duty as the day staff showed up. now was the time to see the bosses, and finally finish off my criteria and get down to building up a life here in new zealand.

there is just one thing people of the innerweb...

they said NO!!!

i'm not kidding. when i asked for those two simple things so i could keep working there they told me

"look we are ecstatic to have you on the team traumador. the thing is we can't give you the money so early in your being employment. additionally we don't want to gamble the museum's reputation by vouching for you when you've only just started here."

uh am i having a nightmare people of the innerweb?

how is that i could come this close to victory only to have it snatched away...

To be Continued...

mother nature just isn't on my side!

T-Minus: 6 Days!!!

Gulp...

Location: Otago Museum

Objective: Job

i know i've said this a lot people of the innerweb, but time really IS running out! if i don't meet these government criteria ASAP i'm in a LOT of trouble!

it was with this burden hanging over my shoulders that today unfolded...

my goal was the otago museum. the last place with a job i was qualified for (and more to the point wanted).

i had already tried to venture to the museum once already this month. the weather didn't cooperate then...

as though to try and tell me that i was doomed to yet another failure mother nature ONCE again unleashed as much precipitation as she could. my walk through the botanic gardens was once again very unpleasant. though of no fault of the garden's i assure you!




i now appreciate the generously placed gazebos all the more after today. just like my last trip to the museum these structures sheltered me for wetness bombardment... unlike last time though i really wasn't going to give up... even if it meant waiting out the storm for hours...

which is what it took! the rain would die down just long enough for me to run to the next gazebo... that is till i ran out of park and gazebos... at this point i had NO choice, but to either waste time waiting (and possibly not make it too the museum, and insure my deportation) OR get soaked right before a job interview...


i made the only choice available to me at this point. after a horrifically wet walk i finally made it too the otago museum. however due to my trying to wait out the rain i only had 20 minutes... which was cause for a slight crisis!

i had hoped to at least preview the place before applying. that way i could show some interest, and knowledge of the place. instead i had to deal with my appearance. cause i was one soakedasaurus at this point let me tell you!

fortunately 10 minutes under a hand dryer in the bathroom fixed that! such utility in these devices...

the only problem with this stop, i had NO time to spare. the museum closed very shortly...

oh man it was stressful people of the web wide world... all my hopes and dreams were pinned on this one moment...

walking up to the counter i introduced myself as confidently as i could... considering my whole new future in a dinosaur-less land rested in the balance...

vanessa the staffer was surprised to see me (again they just don't have dinosaurs down here on the south island), but extremely intrigued. she does work at a museum after all.

explaining to her that i was here seeking the security job i presented my resume...

the instant she took it from me i could feel my heart rate pick up... that or some horrible parasitic eggs were in my lunch and they were hatching in my chest...

she asked me some slightly detailed questions about my resume. in particular about my work at the royal tyrrell... i answered them as best i could. vanessa gave away little as she proceeded through her checking of my credentials.

after what seemed like 5 minutes (which coincidentally is how long it took!) she said she was satisfied with the "interview"...

"you start tomorrow at 4pm" she said. oh man i couldn't believe it... after all i'd been through i failed again. what was i going to d... WAIT A SECOND?!?!?!?!?

"uh sorry did you just say i start tomorrow?" i asked.

"yeah. congratulations" she replied.

i can't believe it either people of the innerweb!!!

after all these months of failure, and heart break did i just get a big break?

with a job i might just make my criteria. for one i don't need a job now. second now i'll be earning money and so i can rent a place to live...

i might just beat this countdown thing afterall!!!

saved by a lack of saving

T-Minus: 7 days!!!

Oh no!

Location: Salmond Hall

Objective: Home, Signature

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okay things are getting really bad here people of the web wide world! one week till the government expects me to check in with the criteria... out of all the 3 things i need to have, i've got 1/3 of one done...

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as if that wasn't enough of a crisis a new problem presented itself that may do me in for good...

so as you know i've been living with my legal guardian craig in his "flat" (not sure why kiwis call rooms and apartments flats, but they do...). we had a deal that i'd only be here till i had a place to move to. as i needed a home for the government anyway this was a very workable arrangement. or at least it seemed so...

that is till today.

now a some incredibly bad weather had set in on Dunedin, and trapped us in for the day. craig was working on some homework for his classes when i walked in...

suddenly he looks up at me and gets really grouchy "traumador what are you still doing here?"

"uh i just got back" i tell him. i was going to go to the museum, but the rain is just TOO much.

"no here. as in why are you still living here traumador?" he growled at me.

"you've got a week left, and as far as i can tell you haven't looked into a new place since you got kicked off pilot's beach!"

to be honest he was kinda right. i hadn't focused on the home search as much as i shoulda been...

still at the same time i HAD been trying.

i told him hopefully i'd have something soon.

craig just got really frustrated... kinda like the way dan used too. this was altogether too much like things in drumheller used to be...

fortunately or not fortunately (i'm not sure) craig stormed out of the room. now of course i did the most considerate and well thought out thing one could in this situation...

i jumped onto the empty puter! no wonder craig was so on edge. he was in the middle of a bunch of boring homework assignments... if i had to do all this i'd be grumpy too!

well i solved that problem right away by closing them all... come to think if it maybe i shoulda saved them...

i wasn't going to waste this opportunity! i needed to find a place to live ASAP. that way craig won't be mad at me anymore, and too boot i'd be closer to my criteria!

okay who ever came up with prices for homes sure isn't a very nice person!!!

for one they cost money in the first place! who knew! i always thought dan and craig asked me for rent money cause they were renting our furniture or something!

there was NO way i was going to be able to afford a place of my own in dunedin. at least without a job. which of course i also still hadn't managed to get...

geez people of the web wide world! after i made a pact with myself that i won't give up, and that i'd make something of my life the universe sure isn't making it easy...

i could tell i was going to get kicked out of new zealand for sure now!

i figured i should go make myself scarce for when craig got back. all i needed to make feel not better was him yelling at me some more...

as i headed down the hall i unexpectedly was greeted from one of the rooms... it was owain. the nice guy who taught me how to play table tennis. he couldn't help but notice i was feeling kinda sad. he asked me why.

so i told him all about my problems with the governments criteria, and how i was doomed to be deported...

he told me to cheer up. it wasn't all doom and gloom he said. i still had a week, and that was plenty of time for things to sort themselves out.

owain then said he could help me out right now... alright! i thought out loud. oops.

was he going to give me a job? oh no wait he was going to let me live with him!

owain said "why didn't you mention that you needed a signature when we played table tennis? i would have given you it then man."

he was just going to give me an autograph... oh man. i should have known this wasn't going to solve anything...

wait a second!

with this signature i was only going to need one more!!!

just like that, my day went from total failure to a slight victory!

i guess sometimes the universe gives us undersaurs a break every now and then after all...

owain was right. a week is plenty of time. i can do this people of the innerweb. i can meet the rest of my criteria by the end of the week! i must!!!

tubes of terror...

T-Minus: 8 days...
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Location: University of Otago Aquarium

Objective: Job

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time is now definitely running out! i've got just over a week to meet these stupid government criteria... i need to get this job thing in the hat people of the web wide world or it's the end of the game as far as i'm concerned! (though why i need a job in a hat doesn't make much sense if you ask me)

as of such i've made my way all the way out of town to the aquarium to try and get the job listed in the news paper...

now the aquarium is pretty out of town. fortunately NOT as far as the albatrosses or pilot's beach so i could get out here by bus if i needed to.

off the bat have to say it is a kinda intense looking place. much more complexy and hardcore then the vancouver aquarium looked. if i was going to be a tour guide here i might just have to take up being a spy again to work in a place that looked this much like it was out of a peter bond movie. wonder if there's a correlation between spies and aquariums?

walking in the front door this place continued to baffle me. this time by defying what i understood an aquarium to be. i thought they were places with glass squares full of water and fish...

this place had glass cylinders instead!

very sci-fiy. i was getting kinda creeped out thinking about all the various scary movies that tended to start with things in big glass cylinders...

fortunately interrupting this tangent was a convenient snack hanging from the roof. i never say no to a free meal. so this hit the spot...

wait a second. in hindsight this probably wasn't the best move for me to make. considering i wanted a job... "uh yeah i kinda ate one of your displays" never goes over well at these sorts of places...

after this rather nice though unfortunate lunch i decided it was time to get crackalacking... that is case the joint for info, and then blow the staff away with my rather large knowledge of their displays and animals.

first up was a skeleton. kinda of my forte after all those years at the tyrrell! though i'd never seen this particular kind before. the skull looked kinda familiar though...

it was a dolphin... i'd seen a prehistoric ancestor of this poor little guy just yesterday in my job hunt at the university campus (the university should think about relocating it's aquarium closer to that location!). okay well i knew a bit about dolphins. so this job was looking promising...

then things went kinda unpredictably... approaching a particularly scary glass tube labelled "sea horses" i was a little wigged out. the contents of this tube definitely looked like it could be dangerous or conceal something dangerous.

when i got up close nothing moved for a while... i thought maybe i was imagining things, and making up things to be scared of...

then suddenly these little tendril things reached out from the sea weed looking stuff and touched the glass... it was just like a sci-fi movie!!! i didn't want sea weed to attach to my face and lay it's eggs in my brain (especially since it could lay even more in my relatively empty skull)

now that i've looked up what a sea horse is on the innerweb i have to say this may not have been the wisest course of action i could have taken. in fact i might venture to suggest this was actually kinda dumb. those "tendrils" weren't from the scary mass of kelp, but rather were just tiny sea horses...

though i kinda overracted to this none real threat what i saw next was actually a cause for concern!

i ran head long into a colossal squid!!!

i'm so not joking people of the inner web!!! just look at the photo!

these are things not to be trifled with... they have claws in their tentacles the size of my head! (granted i'm a tiny tyrannosaur. if i were full grown then maybe it'd have been a match worth watching... but if wishes were horses... uh i'd be scared of them in their glass tube?)

needless to say i cheesed it out of there!

only to get trapped by a different hazard!

now who ever thought putting a fish net in the middle of an aquarium as being friendly to visitors is beyond me! i mean just think of the hazard to children. or for that matter those trying to escape the colossal squid on display!

it was here trapped in the net that i met my undoing at the aquarium people of the web wide world...

it wasn't until they were closing the place for the evening that i was discovered by a staff member and rescued... but i was a little embarrassed. OKAY really embarrassed! and couldn't force myself to ask about the job...

i mean i did just get caught in a net ALL day! not exactly someone you want leading tours around your nice (and scary) aquarium...

this is NOT good people of the innerweb! very NOT good...

i have only ONE more chance at getting a job. if i fail it's no more new zealand for me...

magic museum...

T-Minus: 9 days...

Location: University Geology Museum
Objective: Job

alright i mean business here people of the inner web... how much more business can you get then a job?

the geology museum at the university is looking for a curator, and if there is one subject i can pretend to kind of know anything about it is rocks...

back at the tyrrell we had 6 curators, and they had the awesomest jobs in the whole museum. not only were they the bosses, but they got to work with all the dino girls up close and personal... oh yeah... uh i mean i only wish to get this job to "preserve, promote, and advance the scientific integrity of this institute" (how was that line. i learned it from brad back at the tyrrell for interpreter training!)

so all i had to do was get myself to the geo museum and apply. only thing was i didn't remember seeing a geo museum that alone a geology department while i explored the university a month ago? where could it be?

i really shouldn't have asked that question! inquiring around the university everyone i talked to told me it was located in the one and only place of dunedin that terrified me... the clocktower!

why would anyone put the best department of the museum in the most creepy and scary place possible?!?

science and magic don't even mix!

well i was going to have pluck up my courage, and face down my fear... though i was going to use my small brain to the max to avoid any run ins with wizards or dragons!

well right away, my coming this close to the tower complex paid off. this was indeed the home of the geology department, but there was no immediate sign of or for the museum on the outside side of the place...

i was going to have to enter the inner courtyard of hogwarts... oh man... magic is weird and scary. i don't want to get burnt by a dragon or meet a talking breakfast food again! so i was going to play this ubber safe, and sneak in without anyone or more importantly ANYTHING noticing me!

that was made a bit easier by a large growth of jungle along one of the walls... not only did it give me some cover to hide in should something appear, but it made me feel a little at home in this otherwise hostile environment...

finally i discovered the entrance to this fabled geology museum... well that and some lecture halls... now it was show time! i needed to impress these guys, and get this job!

entering the building i was greeted by some pretty sweet fossil displays! no dinosaurs sadly, but i already knew this from my trips to both the university of calgary library and the dunedin public library. they had a really impressive (and kinda formidable) dolphin skull...

kinda hard to imagine a dolphin this nasty though considering my pal i met at the vancouver aquarium...

okay now here is a dude that i know a lot more about. a mosasaur... these guys were the t-rexs of the cretaceous ocean (same time period i come from!)... they were komodo dragons (aka monitor lizards) whose feet had turned into flippers, and they cruised around eating anything and everything that moved around in the water.

okay look at that. i'm already off the races on this curator thing! with my pre-existing knowledge of palaeo from the tyrrell i was sure to be a shoe in!

hmmm i'm starting to notice a oceanish theme to the fossils here at the museum (well okay outside the museum, as these were all in cases just in the hallway...). here we had a slab full of giant shark teeth... oh man i know better then to mess with one of these guys... based on the sign i noticed this was the mosasaurs replacement millions of years into the future. apparently this fellow is related to the modern great white. even more so then megalodon (a ginormous shark from just 4 million years ago!!!)...

alright i'm going with this part of the museum is the sea themed area, and though it's displays aren't as nice as the tyrrell's bear paw sea exhibit, they've got some great bones. this guy is a giant prehistoric penguin.


i'm started to like this museum. it may have been more low key then the tyrrell, but it still had some nice art work and pictures to bring these poor dead guys back to life (well in a not moving, living, or 3D sense of the concept).

now that i had myself familiarized with the rough layout of their outer displays it was time to head into the actual museum, and not only check out the rest of their stuff, but also get the job!

heading through the door all confident and sure of myself i'd forgotten where this museum was located...

next thing i knew going through the door for the museum (which i could clearly see through the glass window on the door...) i found myself outside on top of a rather large stair case...

i point out that i was only half a floor up outside the museum, and more to the point i was INside!!!

i HATE MAGIC!!!

i'd like to claim that i remained calm. in fact i shall. yes i stayed calm (ignore the picture here though... that would indicate i ran away in a cowardly fashion... cause you just heard my claim, and i'm sticking with it!)

darn found it people of the innerweb! that sounded like the perfect job for me too!

i just can't handle magic! this hogwartsish place just isn't a safe work environment. i'd rather face the uncertainty of deportation then that...

wait deportation... that is almost just a week away! AHHHHHHHHH... okay people of the web wide world i need to go here. time is running out... for real this time!!!