i've always thought so, but hey i guess with a brain the size of a peanut things don't make as much sense to me as to others... bear with me, but as you'll see everything i've dealt with today has mucked up my understanding of the world...
so in my effort to settle into a "normal" life i've just gotten the means to stay "in touch" with people... though i'm very confused as to how i'm touching them, and more to the point why they'd want me to touch them? my claws are kinda sharp...
why do i need to be able to "reach" people?... okay you humans have weird phrases for saying talking to... this would be me worse then touching people! my arms are way too short to reach anything!!!...
well back to the question i asked in the first place... why do i need to be able to "reach" people? the department of conservation insisted that i get in contact with them fairly soon so that they can start their monitoring and conservation program around me... i am again the only tyrannosaur in new zealand, making me very endangered...
there was one other person i hadn't talked to in far too long as well... that was of course my agent peter bond...
so to solve this overall communication problem i seemed to have built up too... which can happen when you waste two months on a countdown of doom!... i popped into a store on my way to work and bought a "cell" phone (the major cause of my confusion other then these language things)...
well here i am in the midst of my first call totally baffled out of my tiny brain. i know i called peter, and that i was supposed to be talking to him about progressing my life, but it's not working the way my old phone in canada worked!but i guess i'm jumping to the middle of the story. sorry about that people of the innerweb. see all this confusion... it just doesn't suit me so well...
let's jump to right after i bought my new "phone"...
having just bought this new phone i went into work at the otago museum. with no sign of intrusion or danger to the galleries or displays i figured i could waste some time to investigate my phone.
after all what did they mean by "cell" phone?
now i couldn't see how my phone was alive, that alone made of cells. as far as i could tell it was like any other ordinary phone... only missing a cord... yet the name implied it was some sort of bacterial communication wonder. i just wasn't getting something about this!
i resorted to the only thing that made sense to me... SCIENCE!
to do so i made use of the bestest tool for the job... conveniently placed within a few meters of my optimum patrol spot at work. so if anything did happen to my charge (the museum's stuff) i'd be in position to act!...
that tool. the microbescope! its like i told you people of the innerweb, it totally is coming in handy!
okay even though i've worked in various museums throughout the years (well okay two. the tyrrell for 3 years, and the otago museum for 3 weeks) and seen countless people operate scopes of various sorts, the thing is i still have no clue how to use one!
i've always wanted to be a sciencologist, but naturally my brain capacity has been a limitation. proving that i just can't do it i can't even work the most basic of science instruments. a microbescope.
when i try to look at the cells in my phone all i get is a big phone shaped back thing in the lens! so totally not like guys who work these things in the movies see!
so here was confusion point the first people of the web wide world...
i had hoped my confusion would remain to just this one major, but indirect enigma. alas it wasn't to be. cause the instant i made my first call i was in for a humdinger...
answering my call was none other then peter bond... special talent agent extraordinaire.
this time he said he was somewhere in London, and though he claimed it was the high life he was seeking there i coulda sworn it sounded a little dodgy (in kiwi that means suspicious). what with sirens and similar things in the background... or so i thought... he reassured me that it was just filming of a new movie... alright why would peter lie to me?
he was pleased (as he always is) to hear from me. "it's been a long time traum baby!"
i told him all about my last month and a half...
by the end of the story he was very impressed."traum i'm loving the fact that you solved all that, and didn't need my help once. i wish all my assets or uh clients i mean were so self managing as you."
"the only thing i want you to do traum is to work on spicing up your blog a bit more," was peter's only compliant.
i really wanted to know what he had in mind for my blog. i told him some of the stuff i'd done like beefing up the sidebar with things like the rearranging of my links (oh people of the innerweb if there are broken links cause of that please let me know), posting the tyrannosaur poem, and putting the cast of my life on there. also my new blog banner and blog title...expecting him to deliver me a wealth of his talenty knowledge on how to make my blog even better suddenly something happened on peter's end that confused me...
out of no where i heard another phone ring!?! thinking it was just someone else's, and that peter was just close to them, i asked him some more questions about my blog. suddenly he interrupted me "sorry traumador. i'm going to have take this text. i'll be right back okay."
just like that MY talent agent put me on hold! well or at least he held my phone away from him as he proceeded to call someone else on his other phone...
i couldn't make much out of the other conversation, but i coulda sworn i heard him say the name larry... which would be a big coincidence considering my cousin of the same name... but i guess peter as the highly skilled talent agent he is would have a lot of clients, and surely odds are high that one would have a name similar to my cousin... the odds of him being the agent to two t-rexs though that seems less... doesn't it?
so here i was. with my new mysterious cell phone. able to call anyone from anywhere, and my special talent agent wasn't willing to talk to me... i was mighty confused about that!it's about here i started to tell the story isn't it people of the web wide world isn't it?
i think this part is what confused me most. peter is my special talent agent. why isn't he helping me with my special talents? i called first. whoever this other person is can't they wait. they did call after me. i have to wait for things all the time when i'm not the first person there... isn't that how it works?
man just when i thought things were turning around for me, and back to good...
finally peter came back on "traum are you still there?" he asked. "look i know this is a funny request, but can you give me your current address?" right after he asked that though he said a strange thing "yeah he's here."
whose here? i hadn't said anything that alone about anybody... then i realized. he was still talking to the other person, and now me at the same time! what was going on?
reluctantly i told him... if i couldn't trust my talent agent who could i trust after all... as i told him my details he repeated them... clearly for the other person to get...
after i was done telling him "you get all that... perfect... absolutely... that's what i'm here for... don't mention it... you take it easy you big lug. be in touch soon," peter happily concluded. with that i could tell he'd hung up on the mystery caller...
"who was that?" i wanted to know.
"oh no one too important," peter seemed to hesitate. "just one of my more high needs clients. definitely not of your stability or potential let me assure you though. have to give guys like him a little extra love and care. they can't all be troopers like you my little predatory friend!"
well that would explain why that person took priority over me i guess... i did manage to wait patiently... then something else occurred to me...
"why did they need my address though?" i inquired.
"oh that," if i didn't know any better i could have sworn peter was at a loss for words. however with my peanut brain i don't know any better... "i was just facilitating a possible gig for you is all, but of course they need your contact info."
huh? peter wasn't making sense.
"wait wasn't that a client not a employer?" i was even more confused then all the times earlier in the day.
"remember traumador i have many different types of clients. i am a talent agent after all, and people and dinosaurs mind you all have different kinds of talents," he quickly answered. "point is this you might get a visit in the near future from my client with a very important offer that could do wonders for your future, but they've asked me not to divulge too much in fears of... well let's just say risking your success."
what? a visit? from who? man i seriously was wondering if i'd gone insane or something. or my brain had finally been overloaded with enough!
"let's refocus this onto you traumador," peter went on." as for your blog, here's what i want you to do. all those touches on the sidebar and layout are good, but you need to improve the content. stop telling us just stuff about what you're up to. tell us what you think and feel about the human world. let us see the sensitive, and thinking dinosaur you are. let us the outside world see why it is that you deserve to be allowed into our world, and deserve to be allowed you do traum!"
okay that was more like it!
i forgot for that moment what had just happened. my talent agent was back, and man was he telling me what i needed it hear!
i'd have to figure out what was need to up the anti on my blog, and what new things i could do to increase its "traumador identity"...
writing about the whole day here now though i still agree i need to do that to my blog... but i also have to wonder what this whole "you might get a visit in the near future" business was about too...
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