why have i been stopping?

well people of the innerweb i'm still on my way out of BC. i guess it makes sense that after it taking 2 months to get into it that it's taking me a few days to get out.

i do really want out though. it hasn't been anywhere near as much fun (or safe...) here in BC now that i'm leaving. today i got to a place called goldy-on.

man i'm getting sick of mother nature mimicing my mood with the weather. it's all cloudy and depressing STILL! more to the point it has been snowing now and then as i drive. i may be warm blooded, but i don't have feathers like other coelurosaurs... sure hope it's warm in alberta when i get back...

oh course i needed to pull over again like a few days ago in the enchanted forest... i really didn't want to after that whole ordeal... but i'd get stranded if i didn't get gas... so i gave in to my stupid car... should have known better!


after filling up my car, and picking up a snack for the road i placed my twinkies down on a bench for just a sec. when i turned around it was like a nightmare... not one, not three, not zero, but TWO bears were suddenly there fighting for my twinkies!!!

to be honest i was terrorified! these guys are almost as scary as vampires or ghosts...


now if i were a big t-rex this probably won't scare me so much. my mom for example weighs as much as both these guys, and could easily take them (but don't let the fact she's a girl throw you off... with we dinos the females are the really scary ones!). i on the other hand, well weigh as much as one of their whiskers... uh if bears have whiskers?

anyways i did the only thing that seemed right for the situation... i ran as fast as i could jumped in my car, and hide underneath my sleeping blankets! call me a coward if you must, but you're not the one tending to dragon fire burns!

after an hour of hiding i popped my head up to see no signs of bears that alone my twinkies... with the coast clear i took off.

it's alberta of bust now!!! no more stopping in BC if i can help it...

i hate magic!!!

so far my retreat from the BCs has been uneventful. that is more due to my not feeling like stopping anywhere. i'm just kinda depressed to be frank... or uh what? why to people say that anyway. i'm traumador... not frank

the fact most of the places so far were those i'd already passed through to get to vancouver didn't help either. i even sped to get past hope and dinotown! however i'm now on a new northern highway that is a quicker route to drumheller so in theory there is new stuff around here...

it's like the universe likes to taunt me. it started raining the day i left. even mother natural wants to enhance my sadness...

after 2 days of straight driving i was kinda needing a break. well and gas. oh and sleep. hmmmm food. need food sometime too!




needing all these things i came to an area of inner BC called the enchanted forest. i figured anywhere that needed a sign on the highway must have a gas station or something... of course it was raining even worse here. i decided the key thing was to sleep first, and then solve all my other problems when i got up.

i mean whats the worst thing that could happen to me while sleeping in a forest?

when i woke up it was pouring hard as ever. fine i figured this way i'll just get my fuel and food and keep driving. still a long way to drumheller

heading deeper into this enchanting forest i was shocked to discover there was no gas station anywhere to be found... in fact there was almost nothing... except a really creepy looking castle...

pulling up to it i hoped that they'd at least have a horse or something i could ride to get gas... cause my car was running really low, and i didn't want to get stranded!

getting out of my car i headed towards the castle with the intent of seeing if i could bum some gas of the medieval occupants. if only things were as simple as they should be... getting closer to the fortress two really weird looking mammal sauropods popped out of the forest.

"beware stranger." they said in unison... man i hate it when that happens. it always means trouble! "this is not a friendly realm for visitors. even ancient ones such as yourself..."

okay so if that wasn't a scary prophecy or warning i don't know what was going to be. still if it is a uncool place for me to be i needed that gas then. so i kept on walking towards the castle!

well you're never going to guess what happened next people of the innerweb. or well maybe you have cause you looked at the picture... approaching the front gate of the castle suddenly a dragon appeared on top of the parapits...

okay this was just getting weird!

i wasn't about to let some stinking monster lizard stop me though! i might be scared of a lot of things, but giant reptiles with sharp teeth aren't one of them... this guy was nothing compared to my cousin Larry...

well okay he's not much compared to Larry unless you take into account his atomic fire breath!!!

needless to say i cheesed it out of there!!!

man i hated this place. all i was trying to do was get out of it, and it won't let me! just before i got really mad (and i mean REALLY mad!) i heard a voice from behind me.

"why so glum chum?" said a big... i'm not making this up... egg sitting on a rock wall... "have you had a candy can for your tum?"

no i replied. what was with this whole place i wondered. a talking egg... i didn't say a word of this out loud you have to understand, but yet suddenly as though the egg heard me.

"oh this place is a little bit like that you see." it started "like one two three. lots of magic about to fill you with you glee. now what is your greatest wish to be?"

after my misadventures in vancouver i just wasn't in the mood for this. "i just want gas!"

"such a request why consider it done." replied the egg. "now off you go for lots more fun"

i was so mad. now it was toying with me too. all i wanted to do was get out of here, and it was mocking me with its stupid rhyme!

now i looked down while angrily thinking this. when i looked up the crazy talking egg was gone... as was the castle, the sauropodmammals, and even the atomic dragon... it was like none of it happened.

yet when i got to my car and started it up (fearing i'd get stranded here in this crazy forest) my gas tank was full!!!

oh man! so that stupid egg offered me my one wish, and i wished for a tank of gas!

i could got that wii i really wanted!!!

the future?

67.2 million BC

i spent the majority of the day wandering through the rest of vancouver... can't say whether it was nice or not. my heart just wasn't into it.

so Larry was right. this isn't the land of prehistory. not the REAL BCs... rather just a human place with a convergent name (i'm so sad i'm not getting big words wrong... oh man). i've wasted 2 whole months pursuing a imaginary goal...

the moral being so far i haven't managed to fit in with other dinosaurs yet. we t-rexs are not popular based on our virtues it would seem. just our scariness, and you're not scary if your not big...

the first spot i hit that snapped me out of my gloom was a beach. the sun was setting over the ocean, and all the ships off in the distance... what a majestic sight to see!

watching the reflections of the sun in the water i pondered my life. compared to this i was nothing. i'm an insignificant speck in the universe. even just this ocean goes on for as far as i can see, and there is a lot more out there then just it...

you'd think in a world that big there'd be a place for me out there...

i mean there has to be a place somewhere that needs a t-rex. or even just a dinosaur... if only i knew where that was...

as i stand here gazing across the colossal sea i can't help, but feel that over the horizon lies an answer to my existence...

what i do know is this. i can't stay here in the BCs... the trip (espeically that fake dinotown i built) has left me broke. even with the salary i'm still getting from the eco centre won't be not enough to pay for my living here...

i also still haven't found my roots. i don't care if i can't find out what it is too be a true dinosaur anymore... so far they've all been jerks or worse. that and we dinosaurs are extinct everywhere on the planet with minor exceptions in museums and shows apparently...

i DO still want to find out who i am and where i came from...

there is only one place i can goto find that out...

looks like i'll have to go back to where it all started... drumheller... while i'm there though it can't hurt to see if the dinosaur boom has busted, and who knows? maybe there'll be an opening for me when i get there, and i can resume my old life!

well people of the innerweb i'd say this concludes my quest into BC... now i return home!

lonely road

66.4 million BC

well naturally today was not such a fun day. i'm in fact very bummed out. no bummed isn't the right word...

everything just seems kinda of pointless...

peter said i needed to cheer up. he's taken me to "drown my sorrows". i told him i wasn't in the mood for swimming... he said that wasn't the plan. we were going drinking... these must be pretty big cups if we're going to drown... be easier to just go swimming, i'm a lousy swimmer

well it's a really nice place that he took me too. a restaurant on top of a tall skyscraper... you can see the whole city from up here.

i just wasn't in the mood for refreshments... they taste funny, and make me feel even dumber then normal...

peter said as my agent he won't let me go till i let some of my sadness out somehow...

that's when i noticed the piano in the middle of the joint...

i decided that would be the best way to let out some of my angst... i played the one song that seemed the most appropriate... boulevard of broken dreams... got a bit of a crowd watching me too!

peter said it was really good, and that managing talent this great he's job was easy... though if i'm that great how come none of the other dinosaurs want to hang out with me?

then peter dropped a big bomb...

due to the responsibilities of managing his clients, and their major distribution across the world peter was going to have to leave vancouver... more so he was leaving canada altogether!

right when i thought i had some backup in face of all the stuff going wrong in my life...

i'm right back where i started before my BC quest. homeless. alone. and confused

going back to BC!

okay i got it people of the innerweb!

the answer was so simple... i've heard it a gazillion times... it just took me a while to figure out what the answer meant... kinda like hitchhikers guide to the galaxy i knew the answer, but not the question

so people at the museum kept saying we tyrannosaurs come from "65 million BC", right.

well then it's easy i'm going there! that way i can get in touch with my roots, and hopefully find a place where i'll fit in.

it wasn't the easiest to figure out. that is till i realized that i don't live all that far from BC. the trick will be to find the 65th million block in it!

so my quest officially began this morning when I entered BC... I'm still a long way from 65 million BC mind you, but I did encountered the first block in BC putting me at 1 BC. It had a cool sign letting me know i'm off to the right start. where else would we T-rexs come from but "the best place on earth" i mean come on!!!

i'll keep you updated as usual...

in the black... but no beauty

i have bad news people of the web wide world...

my quest to find a fellow tyrannosaur may have met with mortal defeat... i wish it were a more complicated or involved story...



so i was looking for exposed tyrannosaur bone along the oldman river...


when instead i found a very obvious fossil excavation... someone had beat me to a trex!!!

looking it up on the innerweb i found not only was i here too late... 20ish years too late... but that i was scooped by my own former people... the tyrrell museum!!!

the tyrannosaur they found here was my mom's best friend black beauty!


so much for that plan...

why didn't i think of this getting in touch of my roots stuff when i was in drumheller. i guess it's easy to take stuff forgranted till you've lost it.

well people of the web wide world i'm off to the car to figure out what to do next...

on the right track... or maybe left

well i'm back to the hunt for another tyrannosaur, who can then tell me about my heritage...

today i may have made some progress... i have found the oldman river which is an important step. as the tyrannosaurs of the crowsnesting pass have all thus far been found along it... meaning if i stick to looking around here then i'm bound to hit dinosaur pay dirt!


my first discovery thus far has been a bridge... a big cool one... i think trains go over it, as i had to leave my car in the parking lot and walk into a forest to get to it... under that bridge though flows the river, and by the river hopefully i shall soon find a fellow t-rex!

in the meantime i have some pretty cool scenery to check out. as there are lots of very pretty waterfalls (kinda like fountains... i LOVE fountains!!!) all over the place... and if i'm anything like my race hopefully the other rexs will think their just as neat, and hangout by one

so the search goes on...

a HUGE mystery: the crowsnest triangle

just when i thought things couldn't get any weirder people of the innerweb... i may have stumbled across the biggest unsolved mystery since bigfeet...

now to start off with i'm a big pairanormal expert. i've read all kinds of books on UFOs, bigfeet, the lock NES monster, and americans. so when i say i've found something bizarre i know the level of weirdness i am comparing too...

i wandered into this tale of mystery quite by accident...


resuming my search for a t-rex after franks slide, i was driving along the highway in the crows nesting pass when i spotted a giant cement crow on the side of the road. i was all like "no way! too cool! i gotta pull over"... so i did, unfortuently it was on the other side of road, and i kinda drove through opposing traffic... don't try this at home kids (unless your like me and love that car chase from the matrix! man this was just like it!!!)... anyways miraculously no one was hurt. though i think a few cars were unsalvagable...

the POINT IS that i eventually got to these giant crows... after having to deal with a swarm of angry travellers, a bunch of police officers, and a vaccum cleaner salesman for some reason...

now the crows were very cool, and by themselves won't raise my suspicions. i'm a big fan of my advanced relatives the birds, and crows are among the most closely related to us dinos.

that and i'm very used to cement homages to cool things. drumheller is full of cementosaurus (among the key jerks at over populating the area, and get SOME of us kicked out!). so i was quite pleased to see an avian version here in the crows nested pass...



however it was when i turned around to see a wooden teepee that i became slight unnerved...

as you probably guessed they used teepees in drumheller. at badlands science camp no less one of the few things i got to do once and awhile at the museuem...

cementosaurs (of an evolved nature granted) and teepees you're saying are probably coincidence...


then i turn around to the last of the 3 corners of this little highway stop off to see a mini church...

drumheller is supposed to have the world's smallest church!!! yet here in the pass i stand before an IDENTICAL building!!!

now you can see my concern. cementosaurs, teepees, and little churches... this place is trying to a new sinister copy of drumheller... the area even used to have coal mines! something weird is happening here, and i'm going to find out what it is

watch the skis, and trust nobodies (cause they could be zombies playing dead!) people of the web wide world...

i traumador the tyrannosaur intend to solve this mystery of the crowsnest triangle the next time i am around drumheller... the answer must be out there. in the badlands... hopefully at the museum...

an unfun slide

well my exploration begins!

sadly i haven't found any tyrannosaurs yet though... even more sad is the place i found today

exploring the crows nesting pass i quickly discovered that even though there are a lot of small towns in here, their all part of the same community. kinda the same way drumheller used to be... i miss drum

anyways exploring around this town called frank i came across this big commemoration marker. it was for something called the frank's slide. looking around i was confused as i couldn't see a playground anywhere... but i LOVE slides, well okay not as much as swings, but slides are pretty fun too!






following the sidewalk instead of a playground i came across an interpretive building and a big patio. the patio had a really nice view of the big mountain above frank called turtle mountain... i gotta see if i can find some turtles later in my t-rex search...

anyways the interpretive building was closed as i got there too late. the patio on the other hand had some nice big signs to check out.

so the slide wasn't part of a playground. it was even a real slide!!! it was a rock slide... which sounds like fun, but it isn't! it buried a coal mine, and killed a bunch of people...

they had a telescope on the patio which you could use to look up at the mountain. trying to use it though i couldn't see anything. not fair! they always work in the submarine movies!








a nice lady walking her dog noticed my distress, and told me i was using the telescope wrong. man who knew the different ends did different things!?! i wasted a good $5 for someone to see me really close up...

now with my telescope pointed the right way i couldn't see any of the rock's sliding. probably a good thing. cause according to the signs they can do a lot of damage.







hmmmm coal mining. that's what the signs say was the reason people moved here for... just like drumheller and all the towns around it... that's kinda cool coincidenc

unlike drum though this place's mine had a HUGE accident. i'm really sad standing here in the shadow of the turtle's mountain... hopefully i will find something more less depressing tomorrow once i resume my search... till then i shall pay my respects to the victim's of this not fun slide...

back to my roots!

alright people of the innerweb i've made up my mind!

i can get back to my roots, and wait for a job as a mountain police! i've left the nice lady at their office my EEY maily address so they can contact me as i head out to reconnect with where i came from...

now i know that tyrannosaurs have been found in the crows nesting pass. so i've come here to see if i can find one of my own so they can tell me more about my rich heritage as a t-rex



it's a big place so hopefully they hangout around the sign...

rethinking everything...

i'm not sure people of the web wide world,

i don't think i'm going to get that job as a mountainy police officer... i'm going to wait a few more days here in fort macleod just to see if i get the job.

if not though that trip to devil's coulee, and hanging with those kidosaurus has made me kinda think back on my roots... cause now that i think about it i never really have sat down and examined my dinosaur heritage... maybe there's a solution in that legacy that will help solve all my current problems


so i'll start figuring out how to do that here in my car. while i wait out here in fort macleod to see if i get the police job. wish me luck!

totally different possible career

well my journey must go on... and so it has.

i find myself in fort macleod. a place with no dinosaurs!

even cooler they have a museum. not a dinosaur museum of course (which are the best kind of course) but it's almost as cool. it's a fort museum, and i LOVE forts!!!

man did i learn a bunch...

the biggest being they sure don't build forts like they used to. can you believe that it is only in our modern age that forts have been built with pillows?!? i know that's totally crazy! back in the olden days they used a bunch of dead trees... man no wonder people died so much younger in those days... all that unnessecary work... especially since early pillow technology existed... so sad


i also learned about the mountianies... canada's premire policing force... fort macleod was one of their major outposts... so cool sounds like an episode of star trek...

anyways i couldn't help but notice their uniform was the exact same color as mine! then i had a great idea... i could be a mountained police officer!

i've put in my application... can't wait to hear back on it...

too good to be true... (devil's coulee part 4)

so after putting all the baby burgers to sleep... hadrosaur children are so trusting... the director of the museum came up to me and said what a great job i was doing in supervising and taking care of all the duckbill's... well except for one she couldn't find, uh not that i had anything thing to do with it's disappearance burp...

the director told me though that there was one dinosaur i hadn't met yet, and that he was the main reason i was here... he was a theropod (meating eating dino) child, and was a bit uppity.
now fortuently through my experience at badlands science camp i'd dealt with a few badly behaved human children... i couldn't see a little theropod being any worse... i should have known better


it was one of my baby brothers! now don't get me wrong i love my mother, but why she had to have another clutch of eggs after mine is beyond me... 6 childern wasn't enough... NOOOOOO she had to have a bigger family to insure some of her offsprings survivial... despite the fact we no longer live in the pre-stone age!

now me and my sibblings don't get along so well... i think our having to compete for mom's affection and food as infants had something to do with it... but alas this little guy wasn't going to listen to me


after arguing with him for an hour about nap time i wasn't making any progress other then waking up all the duckbills...

finally we both tried to out whine the other to the director... she got really mad at both of us really quick... she then yelled at him to take his nap, and demanded i come to her office...

so she wasn't very impressed with the way that i behaved the same as my brother. even worse she figured out that i'd eaten one of the hadrosaur hatchlings... ooops i gotta learn to throw the bones out after i eat....

due to these two factor she had no choice (or so she claims anyway... i still think she had other choices) but to fire me...

man this has so not been my month!

babysitting (devil's coulee part 3)

man i forgot how much i love kids!


so i started my new job today... inside the museum is pretty sweet. they've got a lot of Dino stuff, and no adult Dinos working here...


alot of baby dinosaurs though. it is definately different then the tyrrell that way... there it's almost all grown up, career minded dinos, and if they have kids the kids are there to work too!

here their all babies, and are just kinding doing their own thing... cute, cuddely baby type things.

it's good that their getting exposed to the harsh world of public entertaining/educating early though... i never learned this sorta stuff till it was too late!

their pretty good kids too. much to young to leave the nest. so my job is pretty easy

the best part about this job though is that if i forget my lunch it's not a problem... mmmmm veal...

touring a nest site (devil's coulee part 2)

devil's coulee is really cool!

i feel like i'm at home here... though it's a micro home. cause the badlands here are only in small patches. the rest of the area is a vast sea of prairie.

to get out here you need to follow a tour guide through a bunch of country roads... i was expecting some of them cowboy ninjas to pop out and try and steal my car... but we made it to the dinosaur nesting site without too much happening.


first thing is first this place has almost as many hoodoos as milky river! man drumheller needs to get with the hoodoo times!

though these ones are made of a really weird sandstone... but man are they fun to play in... their like a big rock maze!


then it was down to business. fortunently they had a lot of information... and fun to read. what with the lack of words and all!

so according to this sign dinosaurs... or at least food dinos... raise their young pretty intensely.

the problem this is all about hadrosaurs childhoods... i don't care as much about a hamburgers upbringing... especially since it might take the fun out of eating!


i decieded to skip the reading approach of research, and get into this like a palaeontologist! i started my search of a dino nest...

it only took me 15 mins to find the first remenant of a dino egg!!! man that was cool...

i could feel the connection to my roots... i am a dinosaur even if i was brought up by humans...

the tour itself was very cool, and the tour guide was very nice and smart amd nice. her name is trish, and she is originally from england. so just like me she's a stranger to this nest. i started to talk to her, and after she heard my story of being in search of place that needs dinos she was like "you could come work at our museum. we need a dino babysitter."

so just like that! i think all my problems have been solved!

getting back to my roots (devil's coulee part 1)

okay people of the innerweb i need to do some serious soul searching... though why one would look at the bottom of their shoes in a time of crisis is beyond me.

so i figured why not go back to my formative years, and try to figure out if my childhood somehow played a part in my recent downfall with dinosaur kind. now i didn't growup quite like other dinosaurs... i was raised by humans. maybe this has somehow thrown off my dinosauriness.


so to get to the bottom of this i've decided the next stop on my road trip should be a good old fashion dinosaur family community, and check out how they bring up normal babyosaurus. the best of the best of these in alberta is in warner... which is just a little ways away from milky river!


i'm seeing a good sign... hahahahahaha get it cause it's a sign, and it has a picture of a burger on it!


anyways i came across a museum in town that looks perfect for my exploration of natural dinosaur upbringings. the devil's coulee dinosaur heritage museum. how perfect right after i decide to look into the topic i find a museum on the heritage of dinosaurs!

even better just as i walked in the nice lady at the till was like "we're about to do our last tour of the dinosaur nest site of the year. would you like to sign up?"... and i'm like of course!!!

keep you posted ppl of the innerweb

phoning it in

okay i can take a lot, but gump from my own species is the limit!

i was so mad at the shabby welcome i recieved here at the milk river visitor's center (well okay the center itself is very nice... just not their tyrannosaur) i phone milk river city hall...

they seemed very concerned by what i had to tell them... they were speechless! though they didn't say it, in fact they didn't say anything... it was so shocking... action is going to be taken against their big bullysaurus rex soon!
so i can leave milk river feeling that i've achieved some dinosaurian justice!

the milky way

well my journey is underway!

i just started driving from drumheller last night down a whole bunch of random roads to see where i'd end up... well that and i have no idea where i'm going or where anything is...

i seem to have made my way down into southeastern alberta on the so called fourth highway... that's kinda a lie though, it's the fifth one i've been on! someone with the road company needs to get their facts straight!

theres been a whole bunch of towns along the way though. i stopped in them all seeing if any of them need dinosaurs, and their all like "why would we need one? go check in milk river".


so taking that advice i proceeded towards this milky river of which they spoke. man what a nice town... though it all seems to be grain elevators and hoodoos... there is no sign of this river made of milk though... again with the false advertising that this area seems to be all over...



i really love the hoodoos though... their a lot of fun! and all over the place in this town... these milky riverians are a clever people. they've figured out how to grow hoodoos using cement based fertilizer... drumheller is running out of hoodoos! they should get in touch with these people, and grew some more of their own !



then i found the vistor's center. i was going to see if there was anyway i could become a non visitor, as i'd heard it needed dinos. instead i found another tyrannosaur roaming the premises!!!

i couldn't believe it! i'd come all this way to see if they needed a dinosaur. not only did they need a dinosaur, they didn't need a t-rex either... of all the nerve!

i demanded to know this rather hulking giant his name. he asked mine... now as he bared his teeth (which are almost the size of my head) i felt i should answer first... though i clearly asked first. after telling him my name he said he thought it might be me. he'd heard of me through the grape veins...

he refused to tell me his name. instead asked if i was here looking for work. to which i said yeah. he just started laughing and then finally said in between chackling "they don't have enough of a budget for anymore tyrannosaurs. you know how much i can get paid compared to you."


i said we could do a split system, where i could work when he took time off. he said no! "why would anyone want to see a shrimp like you? might as well hire a Ornitholestes, their not on our pay scale"...

so alas i must move on... clearly they have enough tyrannosaur in milky river for a whole city... JERK! i never did find out his name either...