looming doom... the OH-lympics are on!!!

i won't lie. i'm kind of angry people of the web wide world...

angry at the one guy i thought i could trust... my special talent agent peter bond.

i'd given him money to take lillian the albertosaur around the world and try to reclaim her lost fame... i didn't give it to him to fund these dinosaur OH-lympics of his! i currently have nothing left. meaning i'm stranded here in canada!

peter assures me that if these OH-lympics are a success i'll not only make my money back, but a lot more... which is fine and dandy, assuming he is right... but how often do things work out in my life?!?

meaning my only hope of getting back to new zealand is to go ahead with these crazy games of peter's... otherwise i'm doomed.

although speaking of doom, i have to say the start to these games are turning out to be very scary!!!

peter took aside the whole of team canada, which consisted of myself, norman a. centrosaurus, and lillian to tell us about the first event. immediately we dinosaurs could all tell something epic was about to go down. literally go down too! as looming behind peter was the first venue of the dinosaur winter OH-lympics...

this first game was something called ski jumping... which no, unlike its name does not mean you're trying to train a ski to leap or something (uh not that that's what i thought it was at first or anything...).

no apparently, in this human sport, the skis are strapped onto you and you jump off of a giant tower which only serves the purpose of being there for people with skis strapped on them to jump off of! how crazy is that?!? to my human readers, seriously what is going through your heads when you come up with these crazy "sports"?

(i guess i should mention that the giant tower has a ramp attached to it... making the jump a bit more interesting than a straight down plunge... i guess)

than came the tense moment, when we were going to decide who was going to jump off the big tower... there was good news in this, only one of us would have to do it. the bad news was that one of us would have to do it...

there was no way i was going jump off that tower!!! sadly for me my other two teammates had the same stance on the topic as i did...

"come on now team canada!" peter tried to rally us. "we need to show the world who the best is, and we can't do that if you're all too afraid to even step forward to the challenge."

"he thinks the jumping is the challenging part," norman muttered aloud for us all to hear.

"i'm more worried about the landing myself," i pointed out.

lillian rather than focus on the choosing issue, asked peter a very pointed, and frankly good question. "why are you telling us all this and selecting one of us now? can't this wait till we're up on the tower at least? when we can see exactly what we are doing."

"YEAH!!!" me and norman piped in together. it was a good point, why weren't we at the top of the tower?

"well my canuck-osauruses," peter cautioned. "the price we pay as the host team, is that unfortunately during events i won't be able to be your acting coach."

this didn't phase us as much as i think peter wanted it too. he'd been expecting a big gushing or something. however the lot of us just looked at each other unsure why this was a big deal... of course, none of us had ever participated in any sports before. we were going to find out all too soon why having a coach is a good thing.

with our lack of concern about his absence, peter pushed things back to selecting our ski jumper.

"i only have two skis," peter outlined. "so i need a biped to jump."

norman let out a sigh of relief. me and lillian nervously looked at each other. though i just knew that peter was going to select me. between me and lillian (norman to come to think of it) i was the most adaptive and human like out of the lot of us. if one of us was going to stand a chance of making this jump alive it was me.

which is why i was completely thrown for a loop when peter said. "now as the point of this sport is to travel the furthest, i'm reckoning weight will be the most important factor of the skier. so lillian as coach i'm picking you."

phew! i thought for a moment. then it hit me... i may not have been plunging to my doom, but the girl of my dreams about about to!!!

before i could speak up in protest, peter started to take off away from the ski jump. "okay gang, break a leg... oh right, don't do that! make canada proud and bring us home a gold instead!"

bring back some metal ore? what did that have do with speeding off a tower on two planks of wood?

before he was out of sight peter added. "oh and while the events going on, tune into channel 299 and let me know how i do."


so while lillian is potentially learning why tyrannosaurs weren't the direct relatives of birds, peter would be doing what exactly?

to be continued: with leaping lizards!


Albertonykus said...

Sometimes I think these sports are pretty crazy, too. I sure hope there's some sort of safety measures for these Dino Olympics!

Dinorider d'Andoandor said...

sky jumping!! oh!