i expect my food to at least be dead!

[Production Note: This post is heavily inspired by a true story! The ONLY difference is that in real life no food was ever brough...]

now that i'm at the Oh-lympics, my special talent agent peter bond is insisting we explore around vancouver. i think he is hoping to find somewhere i can jump in and instantly become famous.

well there is nowhere hiding fame so far. however there are a lot of houses... or what they're calling houses. (i thought a house was somewhere humans lived... these certainly are not those!)
so far all people do at these "houses" is sit around and watch sports... which i've been noticing a lot of during these Oh-lympics. sports... isn't that a bit of a distraction? you'd think people would be Oh-lympicing right now. whatever that is?
we ended up at the "atlantic house" for the evening... it turns out it is not a home for an ocean, like i thought. it is just atlantic canada's "house"... which is not the house for everyone in atlantic canada... again this calling them houses thing is confusing me!

anyways so when we got there we had to wait in line... for a really long time. 4 hours!

this kind of meant the whole afternoon was boring as! i mean what can you do, other then stand in line?

at least i had peter to talk to. i wanted him to tell me tales of he and lillian's adventures in new york, instead peter spent the whole time telling me all about all sorts of winter games for some reason? in fact i noticed that was all anyone in the line was talking about... what's up with that?

anyways finally they let us in, and we settled in. after SO long in the line we were getting pretty hungry. the atlantic house told us in a couple hours they'd be opening the kitchen. oh man i couldn't wait!

in the meantime me and peter watched a bunch of those already mentioned winter sports. which was ALL that seemed to be on the TV, for some reason... i'd never seen so many on in a row. so i learned about all the games peter had told me about earlier. which was kind of cool, i guess, as some of them were neat. it wasn't exactly how i would have spent the time if it'd been up to me though.

however time flew by, and still nothing in my stomach...

to try and "entertain" us all, the atlantic house put some guy named ashley macisaac up on the stage. peter informed me he is famous for playing the needle, or was it a fiddle? i didn't care. i was so hungry i hardly noticed him play music. i just wanted something to eat!

(turns out looking him up, this ashley macisaac is quite famous... so i guess i can say i saw him play some music! not that i really noticed...)

i was SO hungry, and so was everyone else around us. in fact it was getting so bad that we were all getting grumpy. it hit a particular boiling point when my tummy grumbled. all the surrounding tables paniced... which i guess makes sense if your only context of a tyrannosaur is from jurassic park... i sort of took offense as i'm a civilized t-rex. i know people are friends not food... oh well it was this event that tiggered it all.

when the table beside us called over the waiter every table in the area eagerly pulled out the menus to remember their orders. instead of taking our orders though, the waiter dropped a bombshell and informed us that we would not be able to order food as the kitchen was closed!

this immediately caused an outrage, as we'd all hadn't eaten in 6-8 hours! when we all demanded why the kitchen was closed, the waiter told us a bunch of different things! the first table he told the kitchen had only been taking orders for a few minutes (for which no waiters could be found anywhere near our tables!), yet the table beside us got told the kitchen ran out of food, and finally me and peter were told they ran out of electricity...

even i knew (with my small brain) that couldn't have been true... as we saw the waiter lie right to our faces, due to the ELECTRIC light bulb hanging about the table!!!

they weren't going to give us any food. they wouldn't let us back in if we left to get any food. they wouldn't even let us order in a pizza or something!

this would not due! yet the resturant held firm the whole night... yet food continually came out of the kitchen in front of us, but delievered to other tables who apparently had spare electricity or something! the worst was when a couple pizzas got carried through to the VIP area. we can't order pizzas but the special people can? that is so unfair!

nothing changed, that is till my tummy growled again. everyone once again paniced, and word got round that the dinosaur in the corner was going to go berserk. the manager himself showed up, and told me if i tried to eat any of the other "customers" (which peter found funny, as no one was allowed to buy anything!) we'd get kicked out.

peter told the manager a lie of his own... which normally wouldn't be good, but i guess in this case since they lied to us made it okay. right?... anyways peter claimed i was a big famous mascot for the Oh-lympics, and that if they kicked me out he'd see to it they'd be shut down. which wasn't true (i think anyways?).

peter then further demanded if we weren't given something for me to eat we'd be sure to mention it to the media. "you eat meat?" the manager asked already knowing the answer. when i nodded the manager ran off to get my food.

he came back with a salmon. by that i mean a raw uncooked salmon. it hadn't even been gutted. based on the smell i'd say it was pretty fresh.
peter tried not to be sick.
me, well sure i like my food prepared in the human style, but 65 million years of gut instinct is pretty strong. i'll eat my meat cooked or raw. heck i'll even eat meat that is slightly rotten (my stomach is a lot more hardy when it comes to meat then you omnivourus humans).
happily i tried to dig right in... though you'll note i said TRIED!

next thing i knew the salmon was trying to eat me!!!

the atlantic house had brought me out a live salmon... what is up with that?!?

and the stupid thing bite my nose... OWWWWW!

it hurt so much (just on the inside of my mouth, mind you. fortunanetly my snout is very heavily built!)!!!

before i knew it peter grabbed the fish by the tail and threw it away...

leaving me with not only a sore mouth, but also a sore empty tummy! i would have bite it and killed it to eat it... in the cretaceous my ancestors took damage all the time. not that i liked too, but if i had to in order to eat then i would take it... yet i had no chance to act on this instinct.

not that i could care about my hunger now. the fish was gone (i wonder if it made it back the ocean just out the front door?) and now my mouth's roof hurt a ton!

good thing i had peter there to help me out...

so far though i can safely say i HATE the Oh-lympic houses!!!

to be continued with more houses...


Albertonykus said...

Ouch! Salmon sashimi is pretty good actually, but when it's alive it's got some pretty sharp teeth!

Dinorider d'Andoandor said...


bad fish!
poor little Traumador!

Raptor Lewis said...

Holy Cretaceous! Ouch! That was definitely unexpected! What kind of sadist brings out a dangerous wild animal for our buddy to eat?! Geez.....talk about a bad day-discrimination AND rotten sashimi! Sorry about your luck, man! :P