sweet sweet freedom (the centre part 7)

61.6 million BC

well people of the innerweb it's official. i am a pardoned tyrannosaur, but it was pretty touch and go for a while... uh i'm not sure what that saying means actually, there was no touching of anything and definately no going anywhere. more sitting in a cell whistling (they wouldn't give me a harmonica!). they just say touch and go on star trek all the time!

now i don't want to bore you with a lot of details... well actually i'd rather just forget this whole incident... here's what happened in a fast fashion

i went to prison on friday. for all of saturday i just sat in a jail cell... it's pretty boring. not sure if the prison guards knew that or not. they should really look into that. makes jail almost a punishment or something...

anyways sunday was my hearing. now when they asked me who my representation was i thought the answer was pretty obvious. my talent agent peter bond!

turns out they wanted a lawyer... man just when i thought jail was boring. now i was going to be in a real life court show. i HATE lawyer shows. their sooooo boring. no explosions or kung fu or dinosaurs!

well they'd already called peter when they realized i'd asked for my agent. in the midst of trying to find my a lawyer mr. bond showed up, and learning of the situation said for me not to panic. in addition to being a talent agent he was also an attorney at law on the side... you know to supplement his income. he doesn't like to boost this mr. bond...

so the hearing went quick. peter was way cooler then a TV lawyer! before opening statements he leaps up "your honor" (not sure why you'd address a judges honor directly... they look kinda scary with those black robes they wear and the white wigs... and if they have honor it means they fought someone for it!)

"this case is a farce! not only do you have no authority charging that alone convicting my client, but you are violating the law of the jungle!"

so turns out they can't charge me with murder as i'm not human. this being a t-rex thing is really paying off these days! not only that but in the law of the jungle it is stated that one must eat or be eaten, and as i was the eater i am not only innocent, but i could pursue legal action against the centre...

alright! i thought FINALLY some action! well sadly the judge dismissed the case before any kung fu started. the good news was they released me... wish lawyer shows were over that fast on TV! be more time for star trek then!


peter was happy with the results... but he was even happier with the response outside! there were all kinds of reporters who wanted to talk to me!!! so i told them all about my adventures...

peter says things can only go up from here.

though mike said he wouldn't need me to come into work tomorrow... or ever again, but that he'd keep paying me. so long as i never came near him or the centre again...

isn't that sweet people of the innerweb. i get a paid vaccation!!!

well in which case time to start looking for 65 million BC again!

worst lunch ever! (the centre part 6)

61.504 million BC

okay well the last 24 hours have been a little crazy...

it all started yesterday when mike took my out for lunch to the toefood barn.

it started off really nice and normal seeming. my first clue there'd be trouble... checking out the menu i had no idea what i should order. i asked mike to recommend the most meat like product on the menu. he said the toefood sampler would have something i'd like.

after we'd made the order mike wanted to talk to me about the big opening of the play in the afternoon. he was really counting on us to give a good performance. i was feeling up to it... so long as i had some food in me. man was i hunger

finally they brought us out the appetizers. man were they really gross. each piece of it was jellyfied vegtables... after washing each of them down with lots of water i couldn't wait to get my main course.

well turned out that was the main course! at least i wasn't hungry. i was just the MOST sick to my stomach i'd ever been!

getting back to the centre i staggered through the preperation of the show. barely getting my makeup on, and i didn't even notice the time leading up to curtains up. fortunently i had till the end of act 1 before i had anything to do...

i won't gross you out with details of my not feeling so good. i know they say during a show your supposed to get butterflies in your stomach, but i didn't know that they were killer vampire butterflies!!!

fortuently i felt much better in time for my first lines...

the show was going great. i felt fantastic. act 2 was going incredibely well, and then WHAM! i got hit with hunger...

well rather then tell you about the fun that was, peter told me i should just post this news broadcast about the incident. he said no publicity is bad publicity...



they make it out like i meant to eat them... i was just really really really hungry! though i think i had another instinctive t-rex moment...

the bad news i spent the rest of the night trying to out run the really grumpy police dogs in the woods. they eventually caught me due to a tip from some stupid boyscouts!

now i'm in jail here today, and waiting for my trial. worst part was i wasted my one phone call calling peter who just told me to post the newstory and enter a new post on my blog...

i'm scared about my future people of the innerweb. i've seen what happens to people in prison. i don't want a tattoo!!!