the big picture (new horizons part 1)

now as you know people of the innerweb i've had a rather interesting year so far. mostly on account of work... in fact VERY much so because of work.

when my boss ms. rhonwyn gave me a promotion a year ago (due to my being able to put up with my JERK! of a cousin larry's visit) i had NO idea what i was in for...

back in canada at the tyrrell museum life had been pretty normal for me. in fact almost boringly so! most of the time i just sat around pretending to be a statue (so i didn't bother the guests by talking to them...). apart from my brief gig hanging out with the museum's summer camp (which was primo fun! i'll have to post about it sometime) i always knew what to expect.

at first working at the otago museum was the same thing. being a security guard is pretty predictable. so when ms. rhonwyn made me her personal assistant i just thought it'd be the same. a low key repetitive task... man was i wrong! (don't believe me check out the museum quest she sent me on ALL over new zealand!).

the scary thing is she just offered me ANOTHER promotion... what on earth could this lead too i don't know?!? as if being chased by maori gods wasn't crazy enough!!!

of course the other big thing was not only did she just offer me another promotion. i just found out that ms. rhonwyn while here in australia (during my whole museum quest adventure) has made a ton of new dinosaur friends and acquaintances.

including one dip serendipaceratops. who in some ways is probably the most amazing dinosaur i've come across over the years. she's not just a museum exhibit or resident... dip serendipaceratops is an actual PHD candidate. in other words not only has she somehow gotten into skool, but she is going to be a real scientist soon!

can you imagine it people of the innerweb?... maybe not easily come to think of it. for you its probably normal for someone to at least potentially do anything they want.

for us dinosaurs still left alive in the cenozoic things are not quite that easy. you're best hope is to become a movie star or a museum's key attraction. even then you're at the whim of your popularity with the human public. if they lose interest you're back at the bottom. that bottom being a pushed around part of a museum's collection or worse a under appreciated spectacle of some tourist town or theme park...

yet here is dip rising above all that to something resembling a human being. imagine if her example takes off? i've always dreamed of becoming a curator someday. maybe with someone like dip pioneering the way that'll be possible for me someday.

at the same time i really don't like her. now don't get me wrong people of the web wide world. i appreciate what dip is doing for my kind. at the same time she is really mean. frankly i don't really like mean people (or dinosaurs... does anyone?).

anyways i'm way off tangent. point being that now dip is hanging out with my boss ms. rhonwyn, and their working on sciency type stuff together (though what sort of science ms. rhonwyn does is beyond me). i don't like it. with my brain size problem, and dip being more legitimate i am going to level with you people of the innerweb that i'm worried that ms. rhonwyn won't have a use for me anymore. even despite her offering me a promotion today.

right the promotion!

so ms. rhonwyn had taken me away from dip and the other aussie dinosaur of the melbourne museum to the human half of the gallery. here she wanted to discuss my future. or at least that's what i thought at first... it turned out she more wanted to wrap up the museum quest once and for all.

she brought me to a display of aboriginal australian baskets... but i at first glance i thought they were maori flax baskets... or as the new zealand brand are called kete among which were the kete o te wananga which i'd carried all around new zealand...

seeing these i kinda freaked a bit! i was SO not going on another museum quest!!! no matter what she offered me, i was going to tell ms. rhonwyn i quit that instant. there was no way i was going to be hunted by anymore angry deities EVER (so i hope anyway...).

ms. rhonwyn just laughed when i refused to transport any of these baskets. "no, no silly," she giggled. "the kete o te wananga are gone for good thanks to you. there will be no more quests like yours ever again."

"have there been any before?" i wondered out loud.

ms. rhonwyn frowned a bit at the question as though i'd hit a sore point... seriously i hadn't meant too. seriously! "no," she answered simply, which answered my question, but ms. rhonwyn sounded as though she thought this wasn't enough for some reason. she took in a slight breath thinking of how to answer further. "the truth is though, traumador, there should never have been a need for your quest. if the kete o te wananga had been left in the care of the maori as tane had intended then none of this year's debacle would have occurred."

"though we don't understand the exact timing or nature of their origin, the kete o te wananga appear to indeed, as the legends say, be the source of all maori mystic knowledge. whether how they ended up in the possession of the maori as described in stories may well remain a highly debated question among mystical scholars. all we do know is that somehow three immensely concentrated chunks of mystical gradient essence were endowed within three flax kete with the purpose of fostering and powering maori magics."

"wow," i said impressed. that was cool. somehow in the distant past the maori had taken pure magic from beyond our world and trapped it in something they had made to harness the power for their betterment and use. normally a story like this would have been a bit above my head, but somehow i already knew the story... i'd touched this power first hand so in a way i was now a part of this story... the end of it.

ms. rhonwyn took my comment to be a sign of boredom or something and changed her train of thought. "anyways," so i'm not the only one who can go off topic like that! "as the maori's culture succumbed to european expansion into the country, eventually the three kete were acquired by various new zealand museums. the kete tuauri [basket of benign magics and the occult] was purchased in 1896, the kete aronui [magics beneficial to humanity] traded to the fledgling otago in 1900, and the maori successful hide the kete tuateu [basket of harmful and "black" magic] until 1956 when the faithful guardians finally passed on with no heirs. can you believe in the end that one of the most feared artifacts of an entire culture was simply donated of all things?!?"

"with the kete out of the protective care of their creators the maori they simply sat on display or in collections across the country collecting dust" ms. rhonwyn grew sad, "a true waste. on all fronts. the maori had relied on them for centuries. so it was a real loss for them, and to the world's knowledge as we didn't learn a damn thing from them till it was too late."

"the whole time they leaked and oozed their high level mystic gradient radiation. under the watchful eye of a tohunga [maori shaman] these residues would have been contained and hidden. we idiots of the west just held onto their treasure because that's what we do. hold on to treasure. never bloodly learning why it is treasure! i thought i'd made the discover of a lifetime last year when i connected the three spread out baskets to their true identities."

ms. rhonwyn turned to me sympathetically. "my own quest to find the baskets was why i was away so much of last year."

"of course i did this only to find out that they were being sought by things of a otherworldly nature, and more than likely not too friendly a disposition."

"as you now know traumador, you leave a trail of mystic gradient radiation lying around, and something is going to pick it up. i realized quickly that the baskets were no longer safe in our realm. if they were to fall into the hands of mystic creature in our dimensional plane the results could be unimaginable," she cautioned. though i could imagine it. i'd seen ghostbusters, and i had nothing with which to cross the streams! "the only solution was to re-disperse them to the magical realms from which they came!"

"there were tales among the tohunga of the ill effects of taking the kete close to places of great mana [maori concept of power and supreme presence]. thus why i had you go to the places you did. i figured either the locations of maori reverence or their artifacts of old might have enough power left in them to tigger the baskets."

"why me?" i asked.

ms. rhonwyn frowned, clearly feeling as though she'd let down more than me by not taking the baskets around NZ herself. "because i had no choice," she admitted. "the league couldn't make up its mind as to whether dispose the baskets before a threat or after."

"the league?" i asked completely confused and excited. did she mean the justice league?!? wow i soooooo wanted to meet superman!

crushing this hope of mine ms. rhonwyn looked at me puzzled for a moment. "the australasia heritage league," she declared. when it clearly didn't ring a bell she looked at me bewildered. "your current employer?"

"the otago museum?" i answered her with a unsure question. wasn't the museum who i worked for.

ms. rhonwyn looked more baffled than before. "you haven't worked for them officially since last year!"

"WHAT?!?" i thought and said at the same time... how could that be?!? i'd been getting pay checks from them this whole time... or had i come to think of it. apart from two pay checks i'd been out of town on the quest, and i hadn't paid (pun intended i guess) that close of attention to my checks at that point.

"traumador i only work out of the otago as my base of operations. my duties with the league take me all over the region of new zealand, australia, and further. as my personal assistant you're in the same boat," she informed me.

i was still reeling from the news i didn't work at the otago. "this league, they aren't top secret are they?" i asked expecting yet another palaeo central story with more things lurking in the shadows and everything...

"no hardly," ms. rhonwyn laughed. "its quite public knowledge that the various museum, universities, and other research institutions of the southern hemisphere have tried to work together to safe guard the various historic and heritage resources we possess down here. its just a question of how successful we've been."

"the kete being one the first of what will surely be, sadly, many challenges we have in this regards," she sighed at some unknown to me knowledge of hard battles and decisions coming up. "a clear issue like them, and the league has no idea how to react. that's the problem with noble intentions. they sound good till you find out everyone has different ideas and degrees of nobility."

ms. rhonwyn turned to me earnestly. "which is why i'm offering you this new promotion. you won't just be my reserve assistant anymore traumador. you'll be an actual field agent in the thick of new zealand's historic resources."

"you mean like a researcher?!?" i jumped in the air eagerly with excitement.

"well i wasn't going to mention that part till we had a chance to sit down and really figure this out. to be honest the league has no idea what it is doing. i forced this kete mission down their throats, and having been proven right i might be able to form more policy of a proactive nature. which might than allow me to get you in a few places you'd never think possible," she answered me smugly, but cautioned. "at the same time that is a big maybe. i've got a few things to sort out, and you have a lot to learn in the meantime. for now i just need to know traumador, are you able and ready to take a more active role in the finding, collecting, and protecting of ancient materials?"

it was a dream come true. maybe all this exposure to dip wasn't such a bad thing after all! "you bet!!!" i nearly shouted with excitement.

"excellent," ms. rhonwyn smiled. "well in that case i have some paperwork to process. we'll discuss your new position in depth, once i've figured out exactly what it shall be," she smirked. "in the meantime have a relaxing evening. i hear you have a BIG day ahead of your tomorrow," she winked at me and started walking me to the door.

tomorrow was indeed a big day! i had my date with lillian albertosaur!

not just that now my career within the museum world might actually take off and lead somewhere! instead of looking forward to being just another attraction i might actually get to be one of the thinkers of the research world!

i won't lie people of the web wide world, today i feel like anything is possible!

the check up (with a flashback!)

i think (my boss) ms. rhonwyn needs a lesson on how to throw a surprise...

don't get me wrong. the first part of her surprise was brilliant. setting up my first encounter with lillian the albertosaur for the first time in 2 years. that's a really good surprise! i got my first date ever out of it!!!

the problem is she added a second unrelated activity onto it. she also reintroduced me to professor paradigm. a palaeontologist who examined me right after i hatched nearly 5 years ago (my hatching day is this week wow!). the reason for our reunion: him doing a medical check NOW!

now i may have a brain the size of a peanut, but i STILL remember this first encounter with paradigm...

it was not pleasant. in fact to be honest people of the innerweb i hated it!

now the thing is i know why medicine and proper check ups is important, but at the same time i really really REALLY don't like getting them!

i think part of the problem is my tyrannosaurian instincts. i don't like giving up control, and more the point having things stuck in my mouth or hide. i'm supposed to be inflicting that sort of thing on other stuff not receiving it!

i also remember paradigm was rough, mean, and did not have a very nice bed side manner. he was quite aggressive on his check up 5 years ago. so much so that i've never had a check up since. my legal guardian craig tried to persuade me to get more when we still lived in canada, but i refused. than as you know since arriving in new zealand things have been a little too hectic for such activities.

so when it came to today's check up i was not for it one bit. paradigm on the other hand was equally stubborn, and was determined to examine me. it was a standoff worthy of a movie or something.

"why is it always the theropods who are the most..." paradigm grumbled just over his breath. he brought his hands to his waist in a show of massive annoyance. i matched his pose to show i wasn't giving any ground.

"i won't do it," i stated. "its too personal."

"i beg your pardon?!?" asked in a very cold manner. as though the fact i had feelings about what he'd just asked me to do was the most far fetched thing he'd ever heard. don't get me wrong people of the innerweb, most palaeontologists are really cool (in fact some among the most cool of the world!), but paradigm was coming off as one of those science above all else sorts...

"ms. rhonwyn didn't say anything about this to me," i declared. "so sorry for wasting you a trip, but i don't give you permission to examine me anywhere... that alone where you just asked!" that should put an end to this i thought... man i thought i was so clever.

"i'm not your doctor traumador. i'm a doctor of vertebrate and invertebrate palaeontology! second of all you're not human. you don't get those sorts of rights!" paradigm retorted angrily.

man this was the first time i'd dealt with the guy (last time i wasn't able to speak or even fully comprehend the world... i was only a few days old after all!) and i didn't like him at all. normally palaeontologists were among the nicest to us living dinosaurs. we're their only definite link to the past millions of years ago. this guy i could tell just thought of us as another specimen like any common fossil (technically fossils aren't common and are really amazing in that only the tiniest number of them survive into the present).

"for ceratitic lobes of the prolecanitina!" paradigm cursed... i think? "it's not like i'm asking to see anything embarrassing traumador!!! just open your mouth. that's all i need to see!!!"

"no!!!" i insisted covering my mouth with my hands.

paradigm's arms shot straight in fury. "you will open your mouth right now!"

i shook my head holding my jaws tight.

"i'm only asking you, nicely," he had to think about saying nicely too much for it to be sincere. "one more time."

i didn't yield.

suddenly paradigm lept forward, and grabbed a pressure point on my snout. he did it in a manner identical to how craig and dan used to do it in the old days funny enough.

i won't lie it hurt a lot! i can see why kung fu people use these pressure point things in combat. instinctively my jaw opened in an attempt to relieve the pain.

paradigm then thrust out a strange star treky looking device and held it in my now open maw. it made some funny noises for a few seconds, and nothing happened. maybe i'd been a little paranoid about this. than suddenly it made a humming sound, and i felt really really REALLY dizzy. just like whenever something magic had happened on the museum quest...

the professor muttered to himself in response to whatever readings he was getting. "how is that possible?" he seemed to stare at me in disbelief not that i could really see his eyes through his massive void tinted glasses. he changed something (i assume a setting) and the dizziness got so bad it hurt. the room spun, and i had flashes of random maori things... though for the life of me i couldn't remember any of it when he stopped. kinda like how you know what a dream was about but can't put your claw on it...

"i'm letting go of your jaw now," paradigm informed me. he than cautioned. "don't even think about nipping me. i know far more painful spots on a tyrannosaurid than that."

"what did you just do to me?!?" i demanded to know as the professor let go.

"i was attempting to ascertain what the effects of that massive mystical gradient raditation exposure were on you," he answered matter of factually.

"so?" i urged him on. i actually wanted to know. was i in danger?

"well its hard to say," he stalled for a moment. i couldn't tell if it was because he was going to lie to me about my condition or he just didn't know. "there have been no documented cases of an archosaur, that alone a dinosaur, being exposed to anywhere near this amount of MGR. if you were a human you'd no longer be in this dimension of reality. you'd have been transposed to one of the gradient realities. though which one, i'm not qualified to say. string theory is well outside the field of palaeontology."

"if i had to guess from what i've seen, which i hate to do without first thoroughly going over the data, you appear to have absorbed and metabolized the radiation. which is very odd," he paused as i think he was telling himself as much as me. "in mammals mystical gradient energy simply coats our outer surface. meaning we rip right through the 4th dimensional walls of our reality as we move, and thus release the contents of the upper and lower dimensional stacks."

"you on the other hand, have somehow internalized this energy, and thus have your whole body mass to disperse and buffer your MGR load. based on your accounts of what happened when a outer dimensional activity was in your proximity, i'd suggest that this makes you something of, well in terms you'd understand, a mystic detector rather than conductor which a human would be in your situation."

i simply stared at him dumbfounded. so what he was saying is that a human would have been eaten by whiro or worse disappeared into that green light like tane did. instead i'd gotten something like a spider magic sense?...

"again i can't say any of this for sure till i analyze the results," paradigm cautioned me. "now i'd like to do a quick physical examine to ensure you are healthy otherwise."

"how are you going to know if i'm okay or not?" i challenged. i hate being hit, poked and prodded. why let this guy do it, since no one is really an expert on us living dinosaurs!

"don't be insulting," paradigm retorted. "i specialize in vivusly preserved fossils," i looked at him blankly. "by the temporal fenestra of a synapsid!... the eggs you and the rest of your kind have been hatching from."

okay so something good came out of this check up. i learned the scientific term for us living prehistoric critters. vivus-fossils. i looked it up. it means (in latin. the language of science!) having dug up a living thing [vivus=living fossil=having dug up].

i also learned that paradigm's specialty was therefore, me... and all the other dinosaurs running around today. maybe that explained why larry was so freaked of this paradigm guy when i mentioned him during my cousin's visit?... i wonder now. seriously who is this guy? i'd just been pretending to know paradigm. the mere mention of his name kept my cousin from making a single bite snack out of me...

with that thought i also realized i should cooperate with the professor. i didn't want to find out first hand why a full grown t-rex could be scared of this guy!

as paradigm saw me relax a bit (i still was stressed by the idea of probes, needles, and instruments) he sounded a bit less grumpy. "good," hit some buttons on his device. "now this should only take one second."

he pointed his doohickey at me. "where's the other stuff," i fearfully inquired.

"what other 'stuff' ?" paradigm was confused.

"you know the medical thingies," i answered. not that i didn't mind the time he spent pointing this thing at me. it meant the bad part wasn't here yet.

making me hopeful he actually laughed. "oh no, no. silly dinosaur. things have been modernized since the last time i looked you over. my multi-spectrum scanner here envelops the functions of almost every test i might need to perform. now it is important you hold still for a moment."

i actually felt at ease. maybe i had been to hard on this whole modern medicine thing. all of it in one tool, and it didn't have a pointy or hammery bit to be seen. just a purple light that turned on and off. what could i possibly have to fear?

"good now don't move a muscle," paradigm commanded as he finished lining up his pen sized scanner gadget. i froze as best i could. the light on the end of the scanner turned on...

nothing. i let out a sigh. that was easy!!!

than suddenly the device made a whirring sound... and was followed by one of the most intense pains of my life. i let out a great "OWWWWWWWW!"

"the discomfort is normal," paradigm stated matter of factly, not caring about my suffering. "what do you expect from simultaneous blood works, x-ray, cat-scan, erm, mri, bone scans, and dental scans?"

with that he started to walk out of the room. "i'll go over these findings, and than bring you and ms. rhonwyn a report of your final results." with that paradigm disappeared out the door.

i simply stood at the examine table unable to move. my whole body was in pain...

and that people of the web wide world is why i STILL hate check ups!!!

Museum Quest: Behind the Scenes

Production Note: Be sure to check out Prehistoric Insanity's look at the making of the Museum Quest here on the Tyrannosaur Chronicles.

quest's end... (museum quest CONCLUSION!)

Location: Auckland

Baskets Left: 1
_

i'd failed my mission to dispose of the three kete o te wananga (the tombs of all maori mystic knowledge) baskets... though i'd managed to alert ms. rhonwyn of the situation i didn't think there was much hope of her salvaging my bungle up...

_
whiro, maori god of suffering and darkness, had caught up with me in auckland. this was the end of the quest for more than one reason.

the most obvious being with him on my tail (nearly literally) there was no way i could safely hold onto this basket. besides that i had no way now of getting rid of it. i'd hit every spot on the list ms. rhonwyn had given me...

okay all but one. however picton (which i had to skip due to the LAST time whiro caught up with me) was halfway across new zealand. now i was out of tickets and money to get around the country. meaning i was stuck on my own two feet to get me anywhere, and with a tireless immortal deity chasing me down my odds of making it out of auckland, that alone to picton were pretty much 0%.

in desperation at the auckland war memorial museum i'd come up with a REALLY stupid off the cusp plan. one that almost seemed to be working. not that i knew how it was going to actually save the basket... and there certainly was no chance i was going to live through it. that was for sure.

the key to my plan was that whiro chase me. which could only end in him catching me...

the reason i say this is that after running dozens and dozens of blocks through auckland i couldn't run anymore!

i'd done pretty good if you ask me. i'd managed to keep ahead of the immortal whiro, with his seemingly never ending supply of energy, and for a guy with supernatural powers he runs like an edmontosaur! with the speed advantage i had on my ornithomimid-like juvenile tyrannosaur body, i'd nearly lost whiro three times. the problem was that was me sprinting, and i'd of course have to slow back down to regain my energy. at which point he'd catch up...

till i finally reached a point where i couldn't run anymore at all. my legs were dead, and i could hardly stand up because of my gasping for air. the spot was actually pretty cool (though i never did learn what it was called). it was a stadium of some sort, and in front was a polynesian style totem pole. had it been different circumstances this would have been a great spot...

but as craig used to say "this is the way it is." whiro was once again caught up with me, and there was NOTHING i could do about it...

i'd fallen in an exhausted pile at the base of the totem pole which is where whiro caught up to me.

looking at this photo i didn't realize how well i could have camouflaged with the flowers just beside the darn pole!!!

"you have given me a good hunt kauwheke te kura [ancestor of the moa], but you're lack of courage here at the end disgusts me. could my brother tane not find a more brave warrior to be his champion and face me in battle?" whiro seemed to complain as he close in on me. wielding his mere or maori jade stone club he showed his intent to end my existence...

i let out a scream... not that it mattered the stadium was quite abandoned during this dull afternoon.

whiro laughed. "i shall not lie to you kauwheke te kura, i take great pleasure in this deed. not just for the trouble you have caused me in recovering the kete o te wananga i rightfully deserve, but because of this pathetic display of cowardice you give me now!"

he was right i realized out of my fear. i stopped screaming, and suddenly i had an odd calm about me. it was scary people of the web wide world. suddenly i didn't care i was about to die. i'd accepted it as matter of fact, and just started thinking through very detachedly how the last few seconds were going to play out...

"very well," i agreed. though i was exhausted, i stood up before him. "i shall face you at least standing on my own two feet."

whiro made an audible sound of satisfaction. he seemed to take a moment to savour the anticipation of the kill...

however my fight or flight instinct had kicked back in, and for once... my suppressed tyrannosaur instincts must have been stirred... i wasn't opting for flight now. i was going to fight!

it was almost like slow motion, but not really. my brain just registered stuff really fast (definitely unlike normal!!!) as they happened. whiro gripped his greenstone club tighter, and started to draw his arm back for the killing strike. as he started to advance on me i lunged at him. bearing my full killer crushing jaws at his chest...

had he not been made of greenstone himself, and not immortally or magic (i'm not sure which one) invulnerable, my bite would probably have killed him dead as i punctured his chest with my teeth and crushed his ribs with my incredibly strong bite. sadly though he was made of greenstone and he was invulnerable.

i just slammed off his torso as though i'd run into a brick... er greenstone wall (though in my defense i was defending myself. normally i'd never run into a wall). some of my teeth broke... its a good thing that in my case they'll grow back.

whiro stopped for moment. "i'm impressed their is a spirit of warrior buried somewhere within you," he stopped and starred at me. a long penetrating glare as though he was reading my very essence. "yes. under all that pākehā [maori word for european... though i think whiro used it here to mean modern society vs. traditional mysticism fearing cultures] conditioning lies a monster's soul waiting to be unleashed. in fact it is ready to come out any moment."

was he referring to my tyrannosaurid ways i'd been spending my whole life to avoid?

suddenly stopping whiro became very distracted by something afar. he turned to face it. just as i contemplated running again, whatever it was hit me too...

it was as though a shock wave from a nuclear blast had hit me... but yet not. i was unbelievably dizzy. something majorly magic had just happened! i suspected i knew what it was.

indeed my suspicion was correct... for back at the auckland museum part of my plan had panned out in a way i'd never anticipated...

remember that panel i'd been really stressed about in the marae. well there was a very good reason i was stressed about it. take a really close look at the picture...

did you notice the kete basket i'd hidden in the panel? well that's what i did.

the plan had been to hide it there, and hope i could distract whiro long enough for ms. rhonwyn to arrange for someone else to go and retrieve the basket and get it to picton.

only something very unexpected happened...

despite my having spent a few hours in the auckland museum and it doing nothing, now the basket suddenly decided that there was actually enough mana in the marae and that it was going to finally phase out of our reality...

somehow my plan had worked!!!!!!!!!!

i certainly wasn't expecting any of that to work out.

I'D ACCOMPLISHED THE MISSION!

not that i was going to get to enjoy the fruits of my victory.

as the pulse wave from the basket disappearing subsided (i'm thinking it was that much stronger a pulse of magic because the whole set of baskets had now gone) whiro snapped around to me. there was no need to guess what was going through his rock head.

gone was the composed god. before me was a crazed beast. he hunched over in a frightful manner, and emitted a most vicious growl. in this feral stance he advanced on me, mere posed before him.

as he closed, whiro pounced into the air to bring his entirety down upon me for the finished strike...

my life flashed before my eyes... wow had i seriously done so much and yet so little in my nearly five years of life?!?

i can remember in vivid detail, him descending on me in slow motion. my magic sense kicked in as an intense dizziness hit me once more. i thought this was my detecting my mystic natured doom finishing my existence...

little did i know behind me something was materializing...

before i know it a second greenstone figure swung in from over top me, and smashed whiro out of mid air! it was the awesome combat move i'd ever seen! (probably because it saved my life rather than it's kung funess). this new atua's (god i was assuming) hit sent whiro flying back several metres, and his mere flying from his clawed hands.

the comer took up a clearly aggressive stance between me and whiro (i smartly hid behind that statue). "you are to cease this at once whiro, and depart this realm forever!" it commanded in a really pissed off voice.

whiro's voice hissed in reply "so you finally dare to show yourself brother," ah i was right, the new comer was a god... as all the maori gods were related to each other. "this was your doing wasn't it. sending the kete back to the upper heavens. you and you're pathetic champion may have thwarted my reclaiming them, but neither of you shall live to enjoy your victory!!!"

suddenly a loud buzz filled the air as a great shadow fell from the sky to surround whiro. it was a massive army of his minions, the mosquitoes and sandflies, just like the ones that had attacked me in rotorua only there were way more of them here!... for a moment they menacingly, and very intimidatingly swarmed above their master...

than in unnaturally organized columns the legion of bugs charged my defender full on. sending him reeling from their impact. within seconds he was overwhelmed by the pests. though individually they were nothing. as an army their power was incredible. as the buzzing of their efforts grew deafeningly loud one could hear over the crunch and crack of rock... despite his greenstone composition my guardian was literally breaking under their assault!!!

just as all hope seemed lost for both him and me there came from under the buzzing and crunching a echoed voice, that despite being quite inaudible, resounded.

there was a great light, and my magic dizziness went into overdrive, as my defender finished casting his spell or incantation. the swarm of insects ignited as the powerful enchantment simply vaporized them (or something... i'm no wizard, and couldn't tell you the technical terminology for it... all i can say is they weren't there anymore).

my defender pulled himself off the ground. the breaks and fissures in his once smooth flawless greenstone body were now evident as this damage caused him to creak and crack as he moved.

"i warned you whiro," he bellowed in a both furious, but yet sadly disappointed tone. "just as i did thousands of years ago. once again you leave me no choice but to use the kete tuateu against you."

whiro who till now had been amazed and shocked into inaction by the destruction of his minions once again snapped into his bestial state and blindly rushed his brother.

once again my defender began his unearthly echoing chant, and a very very intense spell shot forth... striking whiro...

i could just make out through the humming of the spell, and the loud echo of my guardian's chanting whiro scream "i will not return to rarohenga [maori underworld]!" with this resolve he seemed to shoulder off the blast for a moment, but than the chanting increased volume and whiro started to demateralize!

moments later it was done whiro had been engulfed and swallowed by the blinding energy.

just like that the quest was over. both the kete AND whiro were gone... yet there remained something to remind me of what had just been happening.

my guardian walked over to me as i lay on the ground in a my exhausted, terrorified, and quizzy pile. looking up at him i expected him to speak. yet he said nothing. he just tilted his head so that it was alined with my own.

there we stayed for, what felt like anyway, a few minutes.

than from behind my saviour a bright glow erupted from... well it looked kinda like a crack through... thin air. he started to turn towards it as though to make his exit...

in all the confusion, action, and near death experience i hadn't pondered with my small brain who this might be. suddenly my neurons fired up on the subject, and i figured it out quick! like normal big brained human quick!!!

could this be tane? maori god of the forest. the one who had acquired the kete o te wananga in the first place.

rather than answer my questions about my guardian it simply raised more.

• why had he saved me?
• why hadn't he intervened sooner?
• if he could have sent whiro back to the underworld why hadn't he done that sooner?
  
• if he didn't want the baskets to fall into whiro's hands why hadn't he just taken them?
• why were the baskets going back the higher plains of reality now after being on earth for so long?
• was ms. rhonwyn in on all this?
• could he help me with my new magic problem?
• what was going to happen next? was i going to have to worry about whiro escaping?

as the glow increased, and he started to walk into it desperate for some answers i called out. "tane?"

with his back still turned to me the god stopped for a moment. rather than answer my question it simply said "i thank you."

it than resumed walking into the light which was incredibly intense now. a second later snapped off as though by a switch, and the god (tane???) was gone now just like whiro and the baskets...

THE END...

of the museum quest anyways... my life would go on... and in ways i couldn't possibly imagine. which is saying something considering what i saw today!

(Production Note: So now begins Traumador: Year 1.5)

no where to run... (museum quest part 26)

Location: Auckland War Memorial Museum

Baskets Left: 1

it should have been over people of the web wide world...

i'd hit (nearly) every stop on ms. rhonwyn's list, yet i still had one of the flax artifact baskets. even after going round the auckland museum's maori hall twice it was still here...

this was a big problem, though not an entirely unsolvable one mind you.

i'd been forced to skip all my stops in picton, by what i think most would consider acceptable reasons. if i could figure out a way to get back to picton than i'd probably be okay. not that it was going to be easy. ms. rhonwyn had given me a set of rental vouchers, free tickets, and money to get from one end of new zealand to the other. all of it was gone now. she'd been specific that i not miss stops so i won't have to back track...

now i was half a country from where i needed to be.

that was just the problem if i were keeping it solvable mind you... of course it wasn't anymore.

due to a brand new factor, literally walking onto the scene.

whiro the maori god of darkness had finally caught up with me... which was almost an extraordinary event (if not for the peril it caused anyway). i hadn't seen him on the north island at all... only his minions... i'd been wondering if he'd been able to make the crossing to the north island or not. apparently he could it would seem.

the only good bit of news out of all of it, was that whiro didn't know where i was in the museum.

i'd managed to hide just in time when he arrived (if not for my newly acquired "magic sense" i'd have had it!). not that it was going to really save me for long...

he seemed to have an uncanny ability to track me... the only time i can think of that i lost him was at the mirror lakes (he just walked off into the woods for some reason)... so even if i managed to sneak past him out of the building he was bound to catch up quick.

that wasn't even mentioning i had no transport. i'd returned my last rental car when i got into auckland. meaning i'd have to find a car or something out of town... which would take time... last time i had whiro right on my tail there was no way i would have been able to get to rental place and hit the road. so i didn't see how this time was going to be different.

i suddenly realized all this thinking had distracted me for a good minute. i peeked around from my hiding spot to discover whiro was no where to be seen...

stupid tiny brain! heavy thinking like this always slows me down big time...

i reminded myself not to panic. it was important not to panic. the good news was whiro obviously couldn't pinpoint me in the museum... though for how long that was true i wasn't sure... to be fair he could also have been toying with me.

i needed a plan of action, and i needed it yesterday!

the weird part as unlike normal i didn't need huge amounts of time to think. for whatever reason, probably the panic, i came up with a really fast plan.

even right at that moment i thought of it, that alone thinking about it now, it was the worst plan i'd EVER come up with!

what choice did i have though???

okay don't actually answer that people of the web wide world... the obvious choice was to take a few minutes and come up with something better... but its always easier when looking back in time. for all i knew whiro was about to pounce, and let me assure you he may not be scary to read about, but he sure is scary in person!

so off i went to enact the first foolhardy idea i'd come up. even i could tell i was doomed from the start...

i sprinted to the maori gallery trying to get to the marae, but you'll never guess what i nearly ran into... yeah it was whiro... okay that was a lame game of guess who i admit, but considering the stress of today please cut me some slack people of the innerweb.

despite nearly barrelling into him, whiro didn't notice me. which is pretty amazing considering the loud screech i made clawing my way to a halt on the slippery tiled floor.

i stumbled around for what must have been the age of the earth to find a hiding spot... though in a review of the security tape i'm told 24 seconds... when i finally found one i was still amazed that whiro hadn't taken notice.

in fact as i watched him, whiro seemed very distance. zoned out in fact. it was like he was... this will sound stupid, but it's true... following his nose. wait why'd i say that... pretend i hadn't written that last bit, and this is what i said instead of the nose thing... like he was following an invisible trail.

i realized after watching for a couple minutes that whiro was seriously following my path through the museum. somehow he was taking the EXACT same route as i had... wait i'd seen this before. when he tracked me down at the mirror lakes... somehow he was either sensing something me or the baskets were leaving behind.

suddenly my plan altered a little bit... which i knew even then, must mean i was even more doomed than before. if my plan could be that easily changed... too late though.

finally whiro wandered out of the maori court, and i snuck into the marae.

here was the moment of truth. either i go through with my more than likely critically flawed scheme or listen to sober second thought and try and think of something intelligent...

so of course i opened the dare basket!

immediately i was dizzy and tingly. than just like it had the first time i'd opened a basket the dosage of mystic gradient energy turned up... or sorry mystic gradient energy is fancy sciency talk for magic...

again i could feel the magic flow through every millimetre of my body. there is nothing grosser or more uncomfortable than feeling all the organs and soft gooey parts of your body people of the innerweb. seriously i felt everything down to the little ends of my nerves.

i also once again got a massive flashback/slide show version of maori mysticism. for a moment i knew it all as though i had the brain of a smart person. sadly i lost most of the knowledge when the effects of the basket wore off. with this peek i can safely say this was kete tuateu the tomb of all the maori black arts and deadly magics (what little i remember typically shows up in my nightmares...)... this was the same basket i'd opened up before.

the secrets of the maori dark arts, i definitely didn't want whiro getting his hands on these!.. and what had i done. turned on the loudest mystic beacon i could as to my whereabouts!

instantly after the basket had finished bombarding me and the room with mystical gradient energy, the place went insane! i'd seen what baskets could do to a place while their magic was sealed up in wellington (here and here). i sure wasn't prepared for the effect it'd have on maori artifacts (though i really shouldn't be surprised. the baskets did make pearl harbour new zealand into the best war reenactment of the movie ever!)

suddenly all the dozens of totems and statues of the marae were really animated. well okay fortunately just their mouths. otherwise i would have been in trouble... cause they were all really mad at me!!!

from all around me (the walls were made of these guys after all) came a none stop chatter of them screaming stuff like: "you foolish mortal!" "what have you done kauwheke te kura?" "you have broken tapu!" "may the gods curse you forever!" "you dare release such terrible powers on the world?!?" at me.

though it was quite insulting and frankly irritating (i now know what the phrase "if these walls could talk" means!) i was relieved. it was kind of part of my plan. though i'd never imagined the building itself would become such a character in all this. i'd just been counting on a magic over dose... i was suspecting that was how whiro had been following me the entire quest.

he hadn't picked up my trail until i'd stupidly opened the basket. had i never done that than he'd probably never have found me in this big country... to late to cry over spelt magic though.

the only part of my plan that made sense was to use his magic hound sense against him.

quickly i ran over to the wall furthest from the door. the wall totems really didn't like that, and i had to not lean too close or they'd bite at me. several of them had sharp carved teeth!

i prepared the key part of my plan.

though i finished with time to spare it couldn't have been long enough really. a few minutes later a familiar clicking sound of stone on tile could be heard getting closer, and moving very quickly towards the marae.

whiro appeared at the entrance, but cautiously entered as though adjusting to the dark...

as he stepped inside the totems on the wall all began to register their hatred and fear of whiro. well apart from one or two interestingly. they were deity butt kissers, who clearly didn't like him, but were trying to kiss up to him...

even though the totems had all seen what i'd done, not a single one ratted me out though. phew! it'd have been game over if they had.

"silence you fools!" whiro hissed above their combined chatter. instantly the totems all quieted down some visibly recoiling despite being unable to actual move. "you dare address an atua such as myself in this manner?!? do you not realize what i in my infinite power could do to you?" i wasn't sure how much of his talk was just for show or not, but these carvings of great ancient warriors and demi-gods clearly were really scared of him.

"why i should not invoke tapu upon you now i do not know. it is because of your ancestors and iwi abandoning the old ways we gods have been brought to brink of oblvion," whiro contemplated aloud. than i realized why. he was trying to scare them into helping him. "it is so bright in here. if one of you tell me where the kete is that i seek you shall be rewarded in my ascession."

no i just realized, he was overcome by the crazy amount of magic inside not the dark! he couldn't see properly because of my bombarding the place... just like i'd planned!

wait a second. he'd asked the totems to tell him where the kete is, and i wasn't prepared...

as whiro walked into the middle of the room awaiting an answer, i crept towards the door. as i went i very anxiously looked back at the panel where i'd been "hiding". me as my brain and limbs went numb as fear and doubt overwhelmed me... everything depended on that one panel. the stupidity and recklessness of my "plan" hit me all at once as i stepped into the doorway...

than like that i had to get into game mode.

one of the sucking up totems spoke up. "oh great atua, whiro, the kete which you seek..." it started. oh no!

fortunantely a few of the other nobler and braver totems began screaming at and over the cowardly one drowning out the rest of the sentence. if i was going to keep my so far working plan on the tracks i had to kick it into high gear now!

as i got into the door i purposely tripped. i was rewarded with a very unearthly frightening growl (it made gozer's roar in ghostbusters seem like a little girl growling!) as whiro noticed my attempted escape.

with my juvenile tyrannosaur legs (which are of course built for speed compared to the heavier adult) i bolted out of there. much to the shock and annoyance of the normal visitors to the museum. they couldn't see whiro though. i'd noticed most peope don't seem attuned to magical stuff unless their exposed to it properly.

trust me though, if you'd seen him sprinting after me you'd have been terrified too!

as i ran from the museum i could hear him on my tail till i got out the front door (or was it back? auckland has two main entrances...)

as i made it halfway across the grass i realized i'd lost him... why?

as i stood panicedly thinking the situation over, and what i was going to do next... i needed him to follow me away from the museum... i clawed anxiously at the grass.

the soft vegetation under foot was kinda soothing despite the dire situation i was in, and it made me crave a nice lay down back home in the botanic garden in dunedin... i could just imagine lying my head down on that nice soft moss pillow and closing my... wait a second! MOSS that was it!!!

there was moss at the mirror lakes... oh sorry people of the innerweb, euphorias muck up my at the best of times strained thinking... remember when whiro had me trapped at the mirror lakes, and followed my trail perfectly till it came to the bit off the path... well this was just like that.

he'd been following me in the museum fine, but now that i was in "nature" he seemed to be unable to get my "scent"...

i couldn't let him back track and figure out what'd i'd been up to it would have been game over...

but how was i going to get his attention now?...

than it hit me. ms. rhonwyn had said not to phone after mystic gradient radiation exposure because the phone connection applified it into a magical becon...

so guess who i dialed?

ms. rhonwyn answered the phone with no rings. "traumador our tracking sateillites have been picking up spectacular MGR spikes in auckland. does this mean you've completed the mission?" she sounded hopeful

i couldn't lie or even pretend my plan was going to work. "no, i've failed," i sadly admitted thinking through the situation one more time.

"ms. rhonwyn i'm so sorry i couldn't pull this off for you, and i hope you forgive me when i'm gone," which i suspected would right after this phone call. "i failed in the marae at the auckland museum. send someone to follow up my efforts there, and there might still be some hope."

"traumador?" ms. rhonwyn's voice was completely shocked. i could tell she knew what i mean, and that she had realized this was quite possibly the last time she'd ever speak to me again.

i tried to think of something kinda touching or fitting to say... you know like the people in the movies do. famous last words or something... when i looked up and saw something that made me drop the phone...

the weird black statue that'd given me the weird feeling when i got to the the museum. the weird feeling was back... kinda like deja vu... only i knew that something pivital was ABOUT to happen...

suddenly from behind me there came another great unearthly growl just like in the marae.

you see while running through the museum i'd lost whiro initially due to his making a stop at one of the exhibits...

a rather destructive one at that. he spotted an artifact that could be of great use to him. so he simply took it...

now armed with a particularly renowned mere, or short club, with which to hunt me down once and for all whiro resumed trying to hunt me down.

only by this time i'd hit the lawn, and he lost my trail...

with my phone call, whiro literally lept back into action!

at which point i saw the statue... only to have him come up behind me, and emit his bone chilling battle cry.

with him now "safely" on my tail again i proceeded to run away from the museum.

the only thing was i had no idea why at this point!

my plan really hadn't been the solid to begin with. i'd never anticipated getting this far with it, and now with whiro chasing me there was little certainty that i'd live to tell the end of this tale. that alone whether my small hope of keeping him from the basket would pay off...

to be CONCLUDED!!!