right so the situation brief. after foolishly answering a phone call from my special talent agent peter bond, i'd quite possibly given away my location to the maori deity whiro. as you'll remember its been chasing me to try and get the 3 ancient (at least i think their ancient... old in any case) flax baskets my boss ms. rhownyn has entrusted me to escort around new zealand... the purpose of this heading around new zealand is beyond me at moment other than to make them "disappear".
to be honest it's not ms. rhownyn's fault i haven't got a clue what whiro is or the baskets are or were. rather my own. not taking this mission seriously till recently i didn't bother to look these things up. next thing on the agenda once i've made sure i'm in the clear again is to get on that info tracking pronto!
sadly central otago is very similar to the fiordland. once your in it, its kinda hard to get out of. the roads here are very long and isolated with few places to turn off and lose pursuers. my only hope was to make it to queenstown where highways and junctions were plentiful...
an hour after peter's call though my hopes of making it to a road junctions died. in my rear view mirror a eerie and alien yet all together too familiar green glow was catching up to me...the car er rather whiro, who as far as i can tell seems to be able to possess or assimilate cars, was gaining on me... FAST!
again my own fault. i didn't want to get arrested or lose my license speeding stupidly. not to mention kiwis appear to never have heard of straight roads!?! i couldn't do this job if i was in a wreck somewhere...
whiro on the other hand had no such problem, and was way way above the speed limit...
even if i was to go max speed in this SUV (again not a type of transport i'm proud to be using, but what choice do i have now?) i was no match for speedier car whiro.
despite this, i tried foolishly for a few minutes to try and keep ahead of it. quickly it became apparent it didn't care. it knew that while i was driving it couldn't get me. sooner or later i was going to have to stop (if even just to sleep, not to mention things i like to do like eat, stretch, and uh go to the little dinosaur room... okay i don't like going to the dinosaur room, but it feels good after you've been there...), and when i came to a halt that was when it was going to get me...
cheeky little deity!
realizing this strategy of its after the few minutes of playing the game i had an idea...
i pulled over to the side of the highway. i was even nice and indicated my attention with the signal light, and cruised to a stop gently on a designated pull off...
whiro seemed weary of this move on my part, and slowed down well before it closed in on me.
which wasn't good. it scratched my idea completely...
than suddenly something i hadn't anticipated happened... whiro peeled himself off his car (well i actually think it was someones car he'd stolen in either dunedin or milford sound).
as the scary supernatural being cleared the safety of his metal host body a new bolder plan popped in my brain the size of a peanut (i'm going to level with you people of the innerweb i didn't have a plan when i pulled over, but once whiro was in the open a plan did occur to me!).
whiro meanwhile proceeded to walk straight for me in a manner that gave me the wigging's... more so than simply his being a monster ghost! (i really don't like ghosts people of the web wide world!).
i threw my truck into reverse, and flew backwards as quick as i could. the whole time whiro creepily kept coming at me, and didn't seem phased by what i was doing one bit.
i thought nothing of this, and enacted my somewhat simple, but devastating seeming plan...
i swapped to the drive gear and poured on the gas. hurtling my huge *BEEP* SUV right into the maori demon.
the SUV shuttered at the impact of what felt like a giant rock (which considering whiro's appearance of organic jade makes this seem logical... man i need to read up on this stuff!). a loud screech came from under the truck as i could hear the spark inducing friction of whiro being dragged against the concrete.
there was no way it was going to survive this i thought to myself!
suddenly there was a new thump from the front grill...
whiro had dragged itself from under the car onto the front of the SUV, and a strange hum seemed to vibrate the cab around me...
the hum was being made by whiro... not sure how best to describe it... melting, uh well sort of. gooifying i guess... gooifying over the surface of the SUV, and merging with my ride!?!?!?!
that had been its plan all along i think. to wait till i'd stop long enough for it to take over my car, and thus have me and the baskets trapped inside...
i panicked... i'd played right into the monster's hands... i hit the breaks...
it was about that moment that whiro had finished taking over the car. i know this because the steering wheel suddenly ripped out of my claws on a hard turn...
the only problem was i hadn't released the breaks yet, and this being a big top heavy SUV meant we had nothing to do but flip...
meaning we were a wreck within another 10 seconds. i nearly passed out from the spinning and impacts. the only reason i was probably alive and in one piece was my seat belt... all at once people of the webwide world the morale of the story is... i can't hear you one more time ;p
whiro on the other hand didn't seem to have fared as well through the accident. between the various hissing and creaking of the broken machine around me i heard whiro quiver and vibrate as though twitching or convulsing. i think the crash knocked him out. what with his taking the burden of the car flipping this seems a pretty fair guess to me...
in any case i wasn't about to find out for sure what would happen staying "inside" it. i grabbed the envelope that the baskets were in, and ensured they all were still inside... lucky dinosaur that i am, discovered they had all miraculously stayed in this flimsy container (i was going to have to buy something better to carry them around in).
i lept out of the smoking wreckage of my SUV/whiro. what was i going to do? how could i possibly get away from the monster now? that alone get the baskets around new zealand?
looking around in desperation i could think of nothing... that is till the speck way down the road from where we'd come from sunk in. whiro's old car was about a km down the road sitting idly, and was free now...
i didn't need to think twice. bolting as fast as i could, i headed straight to my ticket out of here...
as i drove past the smoking wreck of my rental (sure hope ms. rhownyn got some ancient god insurance on it!) i let out a breath of relief. despite some visible ripples on the surface, whiro hadn't recovered from the crash yet, and more to the point he was merged to a useless piece of rubbish now. even if he woke up now he wouldn't have any means of following me!
with that slight bit of relief i decided a bit of speeding couldn't hurt at moment. i had escaped certain failure once again, but i didn't delude myself. i wasn't out of danger yet. knowing how relentless whiro had been i probably hadn't seen the last of him yet... that alone any other ancient maori spooks looking for me out there...
to be continued...
4 comments:
I don't think ancient-god attacks are covered on the insurance in most countries. Too many theological ramifications and gods to keep track of. How would you prove it was Zeus and not Thor? Put them in a line-up?
However, damage caused by the process of gooifying usually is.
Tell me about it. It's even tougher these days for god ID in the modern monotheist climate. Most insurance reps don't even know that more than one god is possible!
As for the gooifying be careful on your policy next time you're negotiating. Most companies try to put a clause in the fine print exempting coverage on the gooifying. It doesn't just trash the paint job, but the body and even the engine often...
Not that it's a big deal in this case. I just let Whiro keep the SUV he gooifyed.
I just hope the rental place accepts this car I took instead!
Just tell them that's the one they gave you. Turn it in at a different location and act innocent.
And I'm really glad you made it through that.
Ridger- Hopefully they buy the act. At least their the same colour of vechile...
I'm glad I made it through myself ;)
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