the seabus?!?

62.3 million BC

man did i look silly. there i was sitting waiting for the seabus when this boat pulled into the port. a bunch of people started getting on and off it, and i wondered when the bus was going to get here so i could leave too. stupid boat people were getting their ride early. the bus should have gotten here not a dumb boat.

then one of the boat operating guys looks over at me sitting on the bench and is like

"sir why are you waiting there? aren't you wanting to get across the bay?"

of course i did, but i'd bought a seabus ticket, not a boat ticket. after i told him that he laughed at me...

"no it's not a real bus sir. it's just a fun name for this boat. hope aboard!"

well would have been nice if someone had let me in on the joke! i do only have a brain the size of a peanut! what kinda of public transporting system do these guys have anyway. playing practical jokes on us in need of transporting!!!

well turns out that the seabus is the same boat i saw with the telyscope going back and forth...

getting onboard it i suddenly realized i was going to be floating across REALLY REALLY deep water! i think sea critters are cool and all, but at the same time i pay attention in movies, and they can be REALLY REALLY dangerous! in fact i think i have scientific theory that can related the deepness of the water to the dangerousness of the critters living in it...

that and i can't swim!

however i had a lot at stake at this point. this was hopefully going to be the last major hurtle in my attempt to get to 65 million BC. if i chickened out i wouldn't be able to make it (well except maybe in that rowed boat... but i realized it'd be way easier for jawed or godzilla to get me in that thing). so i got into the seabus and took a seat.

just as the boat started i almost shouted out in terror, but it only came out as a cry fortunently! then this announcment came out that told us all the safety features on the boat. that made me feel a lot better! i had a personal floating device under my seat. i kinda wanted to try it out anyway. i figure it'd really be entertaining to float around inside the seabus during the trip.

come to think of it why do they even need the seabus if they could just give you a personal floating device? maybe it's like a heelium ballon, and you'd float into space! okay now i'm not feeling so safe again!

by this point we were almost half way across the bay... if a sea monster was going to do something now would be the time...

nothing happened though. man was that a relief! it was at that point i realized i'd completely left north vancouver... i could see the WHOLE place out the window!

true vancouver and 65 million BC here i come!!!

the port terminal (boardwalk part 3)

62.3 million BC

so i need to catch an aquatic bus... sounds silly i know, but that's what peter told me. one thing i'm learning quick here this week is to listen to peter. he knows what he's talking about!

for the first hour of trying to find this seabus i thought people were going to think i'm crazy if i asked where to find it. cause hey the idea of a busy driving on water is pretty crazy...

then i was approached by a guy who noticed i looked lost. he asked what i was looking for, and though i hesitated he insisted i tell him... to my amazement he didn't laugh at me or anything. he just pointed to a building on the boardwalk and said it was the port.

i think he meant terminal. cause boats are in ports. buses are from terminals... even i know that!

well i'm definately by the ocean. there were all these cool sea type artyfacts scattered around the place. i'm kinda nervous. i've never crossed the ocean before, and before this trip i'd only seen it on TV...

not sure i feel comfortable crossing it on a bus... but peter said this is a good idea.

well as i got to the port i noticed a old dude in a rowing boat. if i chicken out with the bus at least i have a backup.

so here i am waiting at this "port" and they say the bus will be here in about 5 minutes

the venture pact (agent part 2)

62.3 million BC

okay peter arrrived and it was time to get to business... or at least that is how the saying goes... though neither peter nor i wore a business suit which if i follow what i see on TV is what makes business business (that and being SO boring! which this was not!)


first were the pleasantries...

then down to business! again not sure how, but none the less that's what peter said. (you'll notice how we're both intently looking at true vancouver... well you would if the camera were facing it, and not in front of it, and you were there with us seeing how the camera was on the railing...vancouver is behind the camera okay!)


so peter wanted to talk to me about the "fallout" from the eco centre incident...

he said it did great things for getting my name out there... we just needed to get over this whole "primal savage beast" persona i picked up...

when i told him my plans in true vancouver he said it was a good idea. then he said to me this:

"traumador i think it's great you're looking for your roots. their important. their what a man stands firmly on or rather i guess in your case a tyrannosaur *he laughed* that's besides the point though. you can only look to where you came from for so long. after that the roots they aren't holding you up anymore traumador. their bringing you down. the past is a great thing to reference. just not live your life in..."

i was captivated it was like captain kirk was talking to me!

"it may sound good to live with your own kind, but that then just makes you one of the ordinary people. if there's one thing you don't want in this world traumador is to be normal! if you're normal then people will take you forgranted, and not take notice of you. it'll be easier for them to sweep you under the rug, and make it like you never existed!"


wow he was right. this sounded just like my getting kicked out of the tyrrell!!!


"i know it hits you hard traumador... as your agent it hurts me to have to hurt you. i just want you to realize there is a whole world out there. you shouldn't settle for just anywhere in it! so if and when you find your dinosaur friends there over in V town i just want you to make sure they really appreciate you before you decide to join them permenantly. cause after all as my client you won't be meeting your full potiential as just another old dinosaur..."

well of course they were going to appreciate me when i got there... weren't they. i mean i'm a t-rex king of the dinosaurs. of course the other dinosaurs were going to take me in... just like uh... oh man... hasn't happened yet, but it will... won't it...

well thinking about it i agreed to peter's asking me to keep wandering if vancouver didn't work out...

seeing he'd got me down peter was like

"cheer up kid. you'll love it over there, and see some other dinos will do you good! come on i'll show you how to get over there."

i'm glad he cheered me back up. this trip has been kinda unfun on achieving my goal...

but i think it's about to pay off. i get to take a bus across the ocean!

so much to do! (boardwalk part 2)

62.3 million BC

alright so i've made it to the lower level of the boardwalk, and there a lot of neat stuff down here. haven't even notice the time go by. peter gets here in a few minutes, and i could easily spend the whole day checking this place out!

first there was tommy the tugboat! though have to say it is unfortuntely true that celebrities can be real jerks in real life. i asked tommy like a hundred times for an autograph, and he didn't say a thing to me. finally this guy on the boardwalk is like "yo dude the boat ain't going to talk to you!" how rude! tommy could of at least told me, and not had one of his bodyguards do it!

then there was of course that fountain. i really like the raising triangle in the middle of it. reminds me of a triangle!

perhaps the coolest thing though was the telyscope! after my confusion at frank's slide with their telyscope this one was easy to make work!

i'm trying to do some prescouting scouting in true vancouver. no 65 million BC yet, but at least i know it is not along the waterline!

that and i'm noticing one boat unlike the rest is landing both on this side of the bay, and the other... none of the other boats are doing that... i wonder what that means?

quite a view (boardwalk part 1)

62.3 million BC

i'm excited about today. the reason... i'm going to true vancouver!!!

now i hear it can be a scary place... which only makes too much sense since 65 million BC lies within it, and we dinos are a somewhat scary lot (if you ask me)... what this means though is that peter has insisted that i check in with him before i leave north vancouver.

though he is doing that to make sure that nothing bad happens to me his client, it works fine for me... i have no idea how to get across the ocean anyway...

we're going to meet at the north vancouver waterfront boardwalk. it's among the few places in north vancouver i haven't explored yet. so i've headed down early to check it out cause i expect once i meet with peter it's off to true vancouver with me...

you get an awesome view of north vancouver from up here! i can see all sorts of places i've checked out this last week! i'm getting why it's called a boardwalk, what with all these boards i'm walking on. as for the waterfront though not sure i get that?

never mind... got it!

i'm liking the boardwalk a lot so far! great high up view of all sorts of neat things. including a really nifty fountain. going to have to check that one out a lot closer up here...

before i do that though. there it is. true vancouver, and somewhere in that 65 million BC...

it's hard to believe that after searching so long that it might actually be over. i'm not saying i'm not happy about it. just after the month of looking it started to feel like i'd never find my goal. looking across this nice tranquilized ocean full of boats and birds i feel like maybe i finally have found what i'm looking for...

cool piles

62.1 million BC

well now that i'm on a paid holiday from the eco centre i figured time to finish scouting north vancouver. the good news i've succeeded. the bad news still haven't quite got to 65 million BC.

one of the cool discoveries i made was in a park...

there were some toe-tim poles! these piles of crazy looking critters that go straight up into the air! how someone managed to balance them all like that i'm not sure?

definately one of the more interesting aspects of these late BCs i've found so far...

speaking of the late BCs i've run out of them to explore here in the realm of north vancouver... after this park there is a big bay full of ocean.

beyond that though lies true vancouver, and in it i suspect 65 million BC! i'm not going to head over there till i meet up with an expert to go over a game plan... though after the funness of a game we should also figure out my exploring vancouver!

so i'm just going to chill out here with the stacked critters of the toe-tim pole, and wait to hear back from peter...

sweet sweet freedom (the centre part 7)

61.6 million BC

well people of the innerweb it's official. i am a pardoned tyrannosaur, but it was pretty touch and go for a while... uh i'm not sure what that saying means actually, there was no touching of anything and definately no going anywhere. more sitting in a cell whistling (they wouldn't give me a harmonica!). they just say touch and go on star trek all the time!

now i don't want to bore you with a lot of details... well actually i'd rather just forget this whole incident... here's what happened in a fast fashion

i went to prison on friday. for all of saturday i just sat in a jail cell... it's pretty boring. not sure if the prison guards knew that or not. they should really look into that. makes jail almost a punishment or something...

anyways sunday was my hearing. now when they asked me who my representation was i thought the answer was pretty obvious. my talent agent peter bond!

turns out they wanted a lawyer... man just when i thought jail was boring. now i was going to be in a real life court show. i HATE lawyer shows. their sooooo boring. no explosions or kung fu or dinosaurs!

well they'd already called peter when they realized i'd asked for my agent. in the midst of trying to find my a lawyer mr. bond showed up, and learning of the situation said for me not to panic. in addition to being a talent agent he was also an attorney at law on the side... you know to supplement his income. he doesn't like to boost this mr. bond...

so the hearing went quick. peter was way cooler then a TV lawyer! before opening statements he leaps up "your honor" (not sure why you'd address a judges honor directly... they look kinda scary with those black robes they wear and the white wigs... and if they have honor it means they fought someone for it!)

"this case is a farce! not only do you have no authority charging that alone convicting my client, but you are violating the law of the jungle!"

so turns out they can't charge me with murder as i'm not human. this being a t-rex thing is really paying off these days! not only that but in the law of the jungle it is stated that one must eat or be eaten, and as i was the eater i am not only innocent, but i could pursue legal action against the centre...

alright! i thought FINALLY some action! well sadly the judge dismissed the case before any kung fu started. the good news was they released me... wish lawyer shows were over that fast on TV! be more time for star trek then!


peter was happy with the results... but he was even happier with the response outside! there were all kinds of reporters who wanted to talk to me!!! so i told them all about my adventures...

peter says things can only go up from here.

though mike said he wouldn't need me to come into work tomorrow... or ever again, but that he'd keep paying me. so long as i never came near him or the centre again...

isn't that sweet people of the innerweb. i get a paid vaccation!!!

well in which case time to start looking for 65 million BC again!

worst lunch ever! (the centre part 6)

61.504 million BC

okay well the last 24 hours have been a little crazy...

it all started yesterday when mike took my out for lunch to the toefood barn.

it started off really nice and normal seeming. my first clue there'd be trouble... checking out the menu i had no idea what i should order. i asked mike to recommend the most meat like product on the menu. he said the toefood sampler would have something i'd like.

after we'd made the order mike wanted to talk to me about the big opening of the play in the afternoon. he was really counting on us to give a good performance. i was feeling up to it... so long as i had some food in me. man was i hunger

finally they brought us out the appetizers. man were they really gross. each piece of it was jellyfied vegtables... after washing each of them down with lots of water i couldn't wait to get my main course.

well turned out that was the main course! at least i wasn't hungry. i was just the MOST sick to my stomach i'd ever been!

getting back to the centre i staggered through the preperation of the show. barely getting my makeup on, and i didn't even notice the time leading up to curtains up. fortunently i had till the end of act 1 before i had anything to do...

i won't gross you out with details of my not feeling so good. i know they say during a show your supposed to get butterflies in your stomach, but i didn't know that they were killer vampire butterflies!!!

fortuently i felt much better in time for my first lines...

the show was going great. i felt fantastic. act 2 was going incredibely well, and then WHAM! i got hit with hunger...

well rather then tell you about the fun that was, peter told me i should just post this news broadcast about the incident. he said no publicity is bad publicity...



they make it out like i meant to eat them... i was just really really really hungry! though i think i had another instinctive t-rex moment...

the bad news i spent the rest of the night trying to out run the really grumpy police dogs in the woods. they eventually caught me due to a tip from some stupid boyscouts!

now i'm in jail here today, and waiting for my trial. worst part was i wasted my one phone call calling peter who just told me to post the newstory and enter a new post on my blog...

i'm scared about my future people of the innerweb. i've seen what happens to people in prison. i don't want a tattoo!!!

show of the minute (the centre part 5)

61.4 million BC

well here today mike decided that i needed to be kept on my toes... which is a little silly cause we theropods (that is meating eating) dinosaurs always walk on our toes. we're not lazy like you heel resting mammals...

anyways he assigned me to the theatre to help out with the nature shows that we put on here everyday.

so i got to try out acting again! it's been a little while... last time i seriously tried out acting was that time i auditioned for the part of the T-Rex in jurassic park... still can't believe they gave the part to my cousin larry! not my fault i'm one foot tall while he is forty feet long!?!

fortuently this part isn't as stressful. though it's also not as high profile. best i can hope to win with this part is a golden globe...

the show is called "Nature: better then Xbox!"... don't ask me about the title. mike said it was designed to appeal to our child "demoautograph" or something like that... even i know that it is bad grammer though!

i play the part of the pollution-techonology destroyer of the environment span of evil bad humans monster... uh yeah i know. certainly no speilberg script, and i know speilberg scripts when i see them! though tom cruising would fit right in i think...

my coworkers in the show are awesome though. zoe the zebra is the hero of the story "mike"... wait a minute! that is outrageous! i'll have to tell mike to rewrite his script... mike is a boys name, and zoe is a girl... that's just silly have a girl play a boy!

we also managed to cast willy the orca whale in the role of the side kick...

what an all star cast i have to say!

well this morning was spent just practising and rehersing our lines. fortuently mine consist of pretty much roaring and evil laughing all show.

though it is here at just before lunch i hit my first problem here at work. mike came in on our practising and asked

"whose lunch is this? with the meat?!?" he sounded kinda mad

"uh mine. why?" i answered, and well asked i guess.

"traumador we are trying to teach environmentally friendliness here at the centre. part of that is not eating fellow earth passengers." he said steerly.

"but mike. i'm a carnivore." i replied


"no traumador. that's just what corporations and the media have taught you. you have to let go of this barbaric habit..." he said while throwing out my lunch!!! "today you're in for a treat. a vegetarian baptism! i'm taking you out to the best place ever! the tofoo barn."

well i guess i'll forgive him for throwing out my lunch. getting taken out by the boss on only my third day of work. that's exciting. i've never done this well at a job before. that alone in my first week.

just wonder what "toe food" is. maybe it's like chicken feet. i LOVE chicken feet...

getting bugged at work (the centre part 3)

61.4 million BC

well today was the first day of actual work. mike assigned me to the insect corner. my job is to monitor our monsteriously enlargened insects, and make sure they don't hurt our guests.

the point of the display is to teach why humans shouldn't apply science to mad applications like growing things to unnaturally bigger sizes (well that and splicing them together... you know like paris hilt-is-on). there were a number of educational documentaries made in the 1960's, and for a while the number of giant insect attacks declined. in modern years though with the lessons of the past forgotten more and more insects are getting mutated to larger sizes!

wait a minute. aren't we contributing by growing these bugs ourselves? huh have to talk to mike about that...


i like the giant ants. their hardworking, superstrong, crafty, and all women. everything i want to have when i grow up!

these guys can be dangerous though if they get out. they'd start building super anthills, and tear down human cities to do it! worse yet sometimes one in every few thousand enlargened ants gets smart and learns to talk, and then all they do is walk around demanding the formula that did it in the first place!

okay it won't be work if everything was fun like the ants. mike decided that the display needed a bit more reinforcment. ants were dandy to grow in the 1950's but this is the new millenniumfalcon, and mad science won't settle for giant ants anymore.

so to illustrate this mike has grown giant mosquitoes. now i thought after this summer at badlands science camp that they were annouying (man there was a TON after all the rain last year. you'd turn black if you stood still for 20 seconds!). try one the size of your head! i'd rather fight dracula (and he is REALLY scary! but only one of him, and he's not as noisy at least... all i heard all day BUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZBUZZ)

the worst of all though... i suspect mike went a little frankenstien (not the monster who is also SCARY!!! but the sciency dude) and made the worst large insect of them all... the giant wasp!!!
okay so i admit the small ones scary me as much as vampires and big reanimated monsters... i've been stung on the nose a few too many times.

mike's super wasps were too much... i kinda ran away from them whenever i went to check the cage. fortuently they haven't figured out how to open doors yet... or i mean glass cases...

i'm just going to go make sure mike hide the formula well on my way home...