a webcited

well still no word on that job innerweb people,

but this sitting around fort macleod waiting for an answer has given me a great chance to experiment with my magic box or co-puter... and check out the wonderful world of the web wide world!

i also started up this thing called a webbed site...

it's all about me. though it's not very cool yet... hopefully i'll get sometime here waiting in the parking lot to make it better

but check it out

http://www.myspace.com/traumador

rethinking everything...

i'm not sure people of the web wide world,

i don't think i'm going to get that job as a mountainy police officer... i'm going to wait a few more days here in fort macleod just to see if i get the job.

if not though that trip to devil's coulee, and hanging with those kidosaurus has made me kinda think back on my roots... cause now that i think about it i never really have sat down and examined my dinosaur heritage... maybe there's a solution in that legacy that will help solve all my current problems


so i'll start figuring out how to do that here in my car. while i wait out here in fort macleod to see if i get the police job. wish me luck!

totally different possible career

well my journey must go on... and so it has.

i find myself in fort macleod. a place with no dinosaurs!

even cooler they have a museum. not a dinosaur museum of course (which are the best kind of course) but it's almost as cool. it's a fort museum, and i LOVE forts!!!

man did i learn a bunch...

the biggest being they sure don't build forts like they used to. can you believe that it is only in our modern age that forts have been built with pillows?!? i know that's totally crazy! back in the olden days they used a bunch of dead trees... man no wonder people died so much younger in those days... all that unnessecary work... especially since early pillow technology existed... so sad


i also learned about the mountianies... canada's premire policing force... fort macleod was one of their major outposts... so cool sounds like an episode of star trek...

anyways i couldn't help but notice their uniform was the exact same color as mine! then i had a great idea... i could be a mountained police officer!

i've put in my application... can't wait to hear back on it...

too good to be true... (devil's coulee part 4)

so after putting all the baby burgers to sleep... hadrosaur children are so trusting... the director of the museum came up to me and said what a great job i was doing in supervising and taking care of all the duckbill's... well except for one she couldn't find, uh not that i had anything thing to do with it's disappearance burp...

the director told me though that there was one dinosaur i hadn't met yet, and that he was the main reason i was here... he was a theropod (meating eating dino) child, and was a bit uppity.
now fortuently through my experience at badlands science camp i'd dealt with a few badly behaved human children... i couldn't see a little theropod being any worse... i should have known better


it was one of my baby brothers! now don't get me wrong i love my mother, but why she had to have another clutch of eggs after mine is beyond me... 6 childern wasn't enough... NOOOOOO she had to have a bigger family to insure some of her offsprings survivial... despite the fact we no longer live in the pre-stone age!

now me and my sibblings don't get along so well... i think our having to compete for mom's affection and food as infants had something to do with it... but alas this little guy wasn't going to listen to me


after arguing with him for an hour about nap time i wasn't making any progress other then waking up all the duckbills...

finally we both tried to out whine the other to the director... she got really mad at both of us really quick... she then yelled at him to take his nap, and demanded i come to her office...

so she wasn't very impressed with the way that i behaved the same as my brother. even worse she figured out that i'd eaten one of the hadrosaur hatchlings... ooops i gotta learn to throw the bones out after i eat....

due to these two factor she had no choice (or so she claims anyway... i still think she had other choices) but to fire me...

man this has so not been my month!

babysitting (devil's coulee part 3)

man i forgot how much i love kids!


so i started my new job today... inside the museum is pretty sweet. they've got a lot of Dino stuff, and no adult Dinos working here...


alot of baby dinosaurs though. it is definately different then the tyrrell that way... there it's almost all grown up, career minded dinos, and if they have kids the kids are there to work too!

here their all babies, and are just kinding doing their own thing... cute, cuddely baby type things.

it's good that their getting exposed to the harsh world of public entertaining/educating early though... i never learned this sorta stuff till it was too late!

their pretty good kids too. much to young to leave the nest. so my job is pretty easy

the best part about this job though is that if i forget my lunch it's not a problem... mmmmm veal...

touring a nest site (devil's coulee part 2)

devil's coulee is really cool!

i feel like i'm at home here... though it's a micro home. cause the badlands here are only in small patches. the rest of the area is a vast sea of prairie.

to get out here you need to follow a tour guide through a bunch of country roads... i was expecting some of them cowboy ninjas to pop out and try and steal my car... but we made it to the dinosaur nesting site without too much happening.


first thing is first this place has almost as many hoodoos as milky river! man drumheller needs to get with the hoodoo times!

though these ones are made of a really weird sandstone... but man are they fun to play in... their like a big rock maze!


then it was down to business. fortunently they had a lot of information... and fun to read. what with the lack of words and all!

so according to this sign dinosaurs... or at least food dinos... raise their young pretty intensely.

the problem this is all about hadrosaurs childhoods... i don't care as much about a hamburgers upbringing... especially since it might take the fun out of eating!


i decieded to skip the reading approach of research, and get into this like a palaeontologist! i started my search of a dino nest...

it only took me 15 mins to find the first remenant of a dino egg!!! man that was cool...

i could feel the connection to my roots... i am a dinosaur even if i was brought up by humans...

the tour itself was very cool, and the tour guide was very nice and smart amd nice. her name is trish, and she is originally from england. so just like me she's a stranger to this nest. i started to talk to her, and after she heard my story of being in search of place that needs dinos she was like "you could come work at our museum. we need a dino babysitter."

so just like that! i think all my problems have been solved!

getting back to my roots (devil's coulee part 1)

okay people of the innerweb i need to do some serious soul searching... though why one would look at the bottom of their shoes in a time of crisis is beyond me.

so i figured why not go back to my formative years, and try to figure out if my childhood somehow played a part in my recent downfall with dinosaur kind. now i didn't growup quite like other dinosaurs... i was raised by humans. maybe this has somehow thrown off my dinosauriness.


so to get to the bottom of this i've decided the next stop on my road trip should be a good old fashion dinosaur family community, and check out how they bring up normal babyosaurus. the best of the best of these in alberta is in warner... which is just a little ways away from milky river!


i'm seeing a good sign... hahahahahaha get it cause it's a sign, and it has a picture of a burger on it!


anyways i came across a museum in town that looks perfect for my exploration of natural dinosaur upbringings. the devil's coulee dinosaur heritage museum. how perfect right after i decide to look into the topic i find a museum on the heritage of dinosaurs!

even better just as i walked in the nice lady at the till was like "we're about to do our last tour of the dinosaur nest site of the year. would you like to sign up?"... and i'm like of course!!!

keep you posted ppl of the innerweb

phoning it in

okay i can take a lot, but gump from my own species is the limit!

i was so mad at the shabby welcome i recieved here at the milk river visitor's center (well okay the center itself is very nice... just not their tyrannosaur) i phone milk river city hall...

they seemed very concerned by what i had to tell them... they were speechless! though they didn't say it, in fact they didn't say anything... it was so shocking... action is going to be taken against their big bullysaurus rex soon!
so i can leave milk river feeling that i've achieved some dinosaurian justice!

the milky way

well my journey is underway!

i just started driving from drumheller last night down a whole bunch of random roads to see where i'd end up... well that and i have no idea where i'm going or where anything is...

i seem to have made my way down into southeastern alberta on the so called fourth highway... that's kinda a lie though, it's the fifth one i've been on! someone with the road company needs to get their facts straight!

theres been a whole bunch of towns along the way though. i stopped in them all seeing if any of them need dinosaurs, and their all like "why would we need one? go check in milk river".


so taking that advice i proceeded towards this milky river of which they spoke. man what a nice town... though it all seems to be grain elevators and hoodoos... there is no sign of this river made of milk though... again with the false advertising that this area seems to be all over...



i really love the hoodoos though... their a lot of fun! and all over the place in this town... these milky riverians are a clever people. they've figured out how to grow hoodoos using cement based fertilizer... drumheller is running out of hoodoos! they should get in touch with these people, and grew some more of their own !



then i found the vistor's center. i was going to see if there was anyway i could become a non visitor, as i'd heard it needed dinos. instead i found another tyrannosaur roaming the premises!!!

i couldn't believe it! i'd come all this way to see if they needed a dinosaur. not only did they need a dinosaur, they didn't need a t-rex either... of all the nerve!

i demanded to know this rather hulking giant his name. he asked mine... now as he bared his teeth (which are almost the size of my head) i felt i should answer first... though i clearly asked first. after telling him my name he said he thought it might be me. he'd heard of me through the grape veins...

he refused to tell me his name. instead asked if i was here looking for work. to which i said yeah. he just started laughing and then finally said in between chackling "they don't have enough of a budget for anymore tyrannosaurs. you know how much i can get paid compared to you."


i said we could do a split system, where i could work when he took time off. he said no! "why would anyone want to see a shrimp like you? might as well hire a Ornitholestes, their not on our pay scale"...

so alas i must move on... clearly they have enough tyrannosaur in milky river for a whole city... JERK! i never did find out his name either...

end of an era

hello there people of the web wide world,

well to make a long story short there are no more jobs in drumheller for dinosaurs...


i guess there really are too many of us here. so many that there are dinos lined up on the street all over town looking for work, and pestering tourists for money! i don't want to wide up like them.


having slept in my car last night i figure there's no reason to unbuild the nest i made in the back seat. i'm going to live in here a while. i'm not staying in drum though. i've decided i must try my luck somewhere else out there... i'm going on a road trip!

i'm a little scared though. it's a big world out there, and i'm just a small dinosaur. i've never been really away from the museum, and i'm not coming back to it either. this could be the beginning of a whole new life for me...

but betters can't be choosers... or was that beggers get to be choosers... or were choosers beggers?

oh hey! there is one bit of good news. all my friends at the musuem kirsten, christa, cam, and tyler they all pitched in and bought me this shiny (well it's not really shiny) new portable magic box. yeah with this toplab i'll be able to keep you on the innerweb up to date.

where i'm off to i'm not entirely sure... but i leave for it today

going down memory lane (laid off part 2)

for a minute i thought that today was all a horrible horrible dream... so like in the movies when their stuck in a nightmare i went to sleep. that way i'd wake up and everything would be back to normal...

instead i woke up to find that in addition to being laid off, one of the salamanders in the garden had pooped on me. that and i'd wasted my last day as an employee! man why do movies lie to me all the time?

hearing the annoucement over the PA that the museum was closing in 5 min i figured i should do the right thing, and as a new member of the public i'd have to leave the building. man what a march of pain that was... and i know all about marches of pain! i've worked at badlands sciency camp!


there was all the gang in the dino hall doing their thing. the thing that they were here to do. i'd always thought someday i'd get to do it with them. i mean hey i'm a dinosaur just like them why shouldn't i have been in the dino hall too? but i was too small, too dumb, and got there after all the other dinos had.

if only i'd hit my growth spurt, or had a bigger brain, or been born before the museum originally opened...

even my mom had nothing to say to comfort me... i know she only speaks when she has something important to say, but i think this would have been the time!


walking toward the exit i couldn't help but wonder what was going to become of me. i didn't just loss my job, but i also lost my home, and even more i'd lost my place in dinosaur utopia. this is where we still rule the earth. people come from all over to see us. i'd always thought someday it would be me that the little kiddies would walk up to, and have their eyes light up and scream "it's a dinosaur! the best i've ever seen!".

drumheller may be the dinosaur captial of canada, but even us dinos have to pay rent... and this valley's stuffed to the brim with us... i am going to have to see if i can get a job somewhere else... there must be a way!

keep your fingers crossed for me people of the innerweb... i'm going to need all the help i can get!

the END?!?!?!?!? (Laid Off part 1)

oh no!!!

i knew i forgot something yesterday! the museum was going to figure out what my job for the fall was going to be... and uh well this whole lillian thing kinda got outta hand... so much so that my hiding in sheer terror meant i missed the meeting about my job!

uh i'm not sure how to say this but... they FIRED ME!!!

it was horrible. cam stumbled on me while i was hiding behind the puzzle monkey tree... which by the way makes an excellent hiding place if ever you need to find one in the cretaceous garden. especially if being hunted by a large predator... where was i again... OH YEAH! FIRED!!!

so there i was hiding when cam walks up and is like "uh dude what are you doing here?" and i'm all like "hiding from lillian! keep your voice down!" and then cam says "uh dude. you were supposed to be at the meeting yesterday. you better come with me"


so i followed him into the museum lobby where he went over the meeting of the big cheeses...yummy... or i mean the big bosses (though in fairness their actually really small compared to most of the dinos in the museum... just bigger then me) who decided that they have enough dinosaurs, and that at this time there is currently no need for my services at the museum for the time being...

i don't i don't know what i'm going to do people of the interweb...

sanctuary (lillian part 4)

oh man...

i've been lying low in the cretaceous garden for like a day... hoping lillian can't find me... you can hear her stalking the museum (especially at night) from in here...

fortunetly i blend in very as you can see....


i think everyone is getting worried about me though... they've called my name over the PA a bunch of times... i just don't want to risk leaving here and getting eaten is all!!!

in all of this fisaco i can't help but think i'm forgetting something else that was supposed to happen yesterday... hmmmm what was it?

what happened? (lillian part 3)

hey there people of the innerweb...

i don't know quite what happened... but everything is no good!

well here's how i best recall it.

there i was finishing my lunch...

when i noticed lillian had returned from her lunch, and was back in her corner of the gallery.

so i was all like "hey here's my chance", and i marched right on over to talk to her.


i started to tell her how i felt about her. i thought it was going really well... she didn't ask me to stop or anything...


then i happened to ask about the rumours of her leaving, and suddenly SWABAMOO!!!... she got really angry and was like "what do you mean?!? me the star attraction leave? how dare you imply i'm expendable pathetic spec!!!"... next thing i know she is trying to KILL ME!?!


i got out of there as fast as i could!

now i'm hiding in the library with the magic box waiting to see what happens next...

chickened out (lillian part 2)

okay so i chickened...

but i had a good reason. the triceratops i was going eat with her smelt so good... i uh kinda started without her...


by the time i came out of my feeding frenzy lillian had already left for lunch...


have to come up with a new plan... after lunch!

the plan (lillian part 1)

okay people of the innerweb,

i'm a little scared... their supposed to tell me, sometime this afternoon, what my job at the museum is going to be till next summer.... but even more important though today is the day that i ask lillian out...

based on all the helpful suggestions of my friends here at the museum (thanks christa, peter, and especially kirstin!) i'm actually going to do it... i won't chicken out. promise!

i have a plan... based on what kirsten tells me lillian's favorite food is ceratopsian. so i'm going to invite lillian to join me in eat some ceratopsian... mmmmmm burger.


so now all i have to do is not chicken out, and do it. yes no chickening out!

i love the museum!

okay people of the web wide world,

today is a important day. i have make sure i'm very professional, and show the bosses what i can do. tomorrow they are going to figure out my future position at the museum.


i figured at get things off to a good start so i consulted joe as to what he thought i should do. (joe tyrrell is who the museum was named after). well he didn't have a whole lot to say on the matter. so i figured that meant carry on as i have been.

which meant another day cruising the museum. man i love this job.

i get to catch up with all the dinos of the museum... can you believe the joke they were pulling. all of them were like "who are you?" and "when did you start here at the museum?"... such kidders



i also get to eat whenever, and whoever i wanted!

while wandering i also couldn't help but notice lillian......... drool


my friend kirsten in the lab has informed me of a very startling rumour that lillian might be leaving!!! i'm going to have to make my move soon then. while i still have the chance

yummy breakfast

hey there people of the innerweb!

today's been great so far, and i've only been up for ten minutes.

i get to goto my favorite eating place in drumheller. old grouchs...


if your ever through drumheller make sure you stop in! its on the way to the museum, and if you're going there make sure you come to visit me!

there i'm going to have the bestest best breakfast one can ever have...


the grouch burger mmmmmm yummy... look at how big it is compared to that tiny normal burger... the grouch burger is almost as big as me... well enough talking about it.... their all waiting for me out front in the car

talk to you when we get back!

homeward bound (DPP part 4)

well digging is all done sadly...

we got 12 bags of micro fossil matrix (that is to say we have 12 bags full fossil rich dirt!) which is pretty good... took me a little while to load them all into the truck mind you. tony and dr. brinkman were still tired from supervising me dig.

due to the long day we're simply heading straight back to the museum to unload our precious cargo.

we are taking one quick stop though at the dpp gas station... thus my chance to hop on dr. brinkman's portable co-puter...


they have a really good dino employment plan out here around dpp. the security guard was an albertosaurus. i chatted to him for a few minutes, and it turns out he is related to lillian... mmmmmm lillian so hot... but he won't tell me who she likes or put in a good word for me... he said i was not her type... jerk! oh well he's only a distant relative.

i can't wait to get to the museum, and tell everyone that i traumador went on a dig. that'll impress them!!! hopefully especially lillian...

buried treasure!!! (DPP part 3)

who knew that being a palaeontologist was so much work?!?

i mean we all hear about the fame, fortune, and or course girls... can you believe the ladies actually give palaeontologists full access to their, ummm, anatomy... lucky smucks is all i have to say!


at least they have to work for it, i discovered today. arriving at the micro fossil site dr. brinkman got right to work with the excavating (that's a pro term for digging f.y.i.)


it was worth it though. we knocked loose tons of solid chunks of matrix (no not keanu! that's what sciency people call the rock around fossils of both the micro and uh non-mirco kind) within were the little prehistoric treasures we were looking for!


but it's such hardwork that after only two minutes dr. brinkman got so tired that he let me do the digging! he said that there was no way he could continue so while i dug him and tony sat by supervising me... though i didn't know that sitting under an umberlla and drinking iced tea was supervising, but that's what dr. b said, and he's the expert!

no such thing as lunch? (DPP part 2)

wow!

been a while since i've been to the dpp's field station... they've made it all bigger and cooler! and to think it was out of comission for a whole year...

have to say though its a bit racey for a family establishment... what with the really pretty girl in the front lobby. baring everything for the world to see, have they no shame?!? i might have to write a letter to the minister...



well after both the shock and perusaling... or uh i mean disgust... it was time to find some lunch. after all one doesn't go into the field looking for fossils on an empty stomach...

i was in the mood for a steak, but sadly the local pack had already jumped all over the selection... ever since jurassic park them raptors think they owe the place... if only my mom, dad, brother, sister, cousin larry, or any other big t-rex were here. they'd remind them who the king of the dinosaurs was!


fortuently there was a nice burger just around the gallery. so after i'm done with this guy it's off to find fossils... wish us luck!