Needle in a Drumheller

(From the active case files of the Palaeo Central Initiative. Personal log of Palaeo-Prime: Professor Alvar Paradigm.)


This has not been one of my better days.

Despite our successful capture of Case #132-09's poaching racket, my personal participation in the operation was less than ideal.

However today has been the first time I have ever been thwarted in hand to hand combat by two separate combatants!

My second altercation was quite an unexpected surprise however, especially in who I clashed with.


What the hell is Jaden [Spectre] doing here in Drumheller???

The logical conclusion is he was somehow involved in the poaching. That does not make sense though.

He has known about the Vivus egg layer in the Horseshoe Canyon as long as I have. More to the point he would never resort to employing anyone else to excavate for him. He is far to skilled and capable to need hired help. Not to mention his pride!


No, there must be something else behind his presence here, but I don't have time to figure it out now!

Jaden has abducted TMP 2003. 12. 7., known to most as "Traumador". Being taken by Jaden means the Tyrannosaur only has a few hours left, unless I can track them both down!

I think I know what Jaden is up to. Or so I hope. I have made a crucial call to the International Palaeontological Committee publishing house. I am going to need them to rush something through a peer review in the next hour if there is any hope of stopping Jaden.

Naturally Jaden was smart enough to not leave me anything resembling a useful trail. His tracks end at the Dinosaur Trail highway. Meaning he could be anywhere in the greater Drumheller area by now. He is not foolish enough to try and leave the area, as he or his captive might be found if I were to order a road closure.

It has been a long time since the two of us have played cat and mouse in Drum. Nine years, two months, and five days to be precise. His choice of hideouts in the area has altered a great deal in the past decade, and like always I don't have much time to figure out which!


I can immediately eliminate two of his classic haunts from the list. Both the old abandoned Prehistoric Park and Antler Museum sites have been thankfully demolished in the last few year, and thus he can't fall back on familiar ground or the previously installed defences.


At the same time there is no shortage of potential new sites for him to use around town. All Jaden needs is privacy and access to the barest basic utilities and he is fully operable.

[Photo courtest of David Lloyd]

I fear he may yet, one of these days, resort to using one of the several dozen old dilapidated farm buildings in the area. He has never done this in his exploits in Canada, but there is always a first time in this country. Which would prove disastrous, I do not have the time to check them all.

Based on our encounter earlier today though I am willing to gamble he will not be using this tactic today. He went out of his way to ensure I survived our battle, and I have fought him enough to know the difference. No, Jaden wants me to know exactly what he is doing to TMP 2003. 12. 7, and thus he will have chosen a hideout that will be obvious so I can find it.

[Photo courtesy of David Lloyd]

My first stop, Jaden's still standing second base in Drumheller. The Bleriot Ferry. In 1986 during his attempt to illegally break into the Tyrrell's type specimen collection, Jaden used the Ferry's mechanical shed as his base of operations.

However here in 2009 there is no sign that he has been here in the past twenty years.

When Jaden is pulling one of his more showy schemes, he likes to go as grandiose as he can on his venue. Having a flair of theatrical sense, Jaden tends to pick historic sites for these occasions.

You can not get much more historic or flashy then the Atlas 5 coal mine site.

I wagered it 40% likely I'd find Jaden and Traumador here at the mine, it turns out that my 60% reservations were correct.

Clearly Jaden wants to be found, but not too easily. If he is going to attempt what I think he is, then this makes sense. He can not afford me finding him too soon. I need to really get in Jaden's headspace right now if I am to save the Tyrannosaur!

Jaden is very fond of abandoned facilities, for the clear advantages they provide to someone with his agenda. His usual two the Prehistoric Park and Antler museum no longer exist, but as small cities and towns tend to do, Drumheller has produced a few new such places for him to choose from.

A fire last year, rendered the former high school completely useless. Making it perfect for Jaden's purposes, especially since it is right in the heart of the city and very close to electrical and water systems that can be tapped into.

If I gave the Atlas mine 40% likelihood, then the high school was 50%. The boarded up front was almost like Jaden's version of a welcoming mat.

Yet after an extensive search of the building I was astounded to find the high school had simply been abandoned.

Which did not bode well for me or the Tyrannosaur! Those were the only clear places I could think of, and Drumheller was a town I knew particularly well.

A last possible location occurred to me, though I did not bother to investigate it.

The new "museum" being constructed 5 minutes down North Dinosaur Trail from the Tyrrell.

The thought of this abomination of an institute feels me with intense rage. Despite the Tyrrell's, my own, and even the International Palaeontological Committee's efforts to block them, the Annex Corporation has been allowed to build this tourism branch in Alberta. I can not even properly express my disgust over this situation. If this is a sign of things to come, than my efforts to combat the company have been for nothing!

`

I digress though. Such a new facility only being partially complete, it would make an ideal temporary base for Jaden. Yet, I can thankfully dismiss the Annex Corp. museum without a second thought. Despite our disagreements in the past, Jaden and I still share an absolute disdain for the company. He would not ally himself with them under many circumstances, and getting back at me through the Tyrannosaur certainly would not be one of them!

`

No, Jaden has to have come up with a far cleverer hiding place then these. I just wish I could think of where the hell it is?!?

To be continued... In the last place anyone would think to look!

In the Shadows...

(From the personal files of Professor Alvar Paradigm. Highlighted sections note those which Mike the Librarian thought were most interesting in connection to the supposed top secret Palaeo Central Initiative.)

I had visited Australia 12 times before this year, and every time this continent/country has proved more than worth the visit. Of course not all these trips were under favourable circumstances, the 1996 Broome incident coming to mind in particular. Fortunately the majority had been for purely scientific and academic reasons, and the specimens and findings that have been coming to light are truly exciting for science.

However considering all that I have seen and had happen in these 12 previous trips, even if they were combined, they pale compared to this my 13th visit "down under". This was just supposed to be a minor and care free week long visit. There were no incidents or cases for me to get involved in when I arrived, and fortunately there still aren't any technically thank the sediment, yet the past 6 days have felt as though all hell has broken loose around me. I haven't had so much to deal with since the last time Spectre and my paths last crossed.

The most unpredictable thing of all, has been the sudden re-appearance of TMP-2003. 44. 7 [a Royal Tyrrell Museum catalogue number] here in Melbourne. "Traumador" as 2003. 44. 7 has come to be called, disappeared nearly 2 years ago from Canada, and I'd been unable to track him down. I'd assumed the worst, and that he had ended up in a private collection or similar such fate. Instead the truth has proven more bizarre than anything I've ever encountered before.

Traumador not only managed to smuggle himself into New Zealand in 2006, which now explains Larry Tyrannosaurus' presence in the country last year, but 2003. 44. 7 has managed to become highly involved in its museum infrastructure as well. Apart from my having tasked vivus-Dinosaurs to work for me, I have never heard of a Dinosaur being given so much responsibility as this one. Which is remarkable that he'd be so trusted from what I remember of this particular specimen.

Traumador's supervisor, who is attached loosely with the Otago Museum, approaching me about a work related incident that happened to the small Tyrannosaur this year. She wanted me to ensure that he wasn't harmed by his experience. The results from my examination have thus far been astonishing, and I expect the rest to be no less amazing.

Not only is this the first time a Dinosaur has been exposed to any real amount of Mystic Gradient Energy, but it is showing us a whole new aspect of this radiation's nature. Unlike exposed mammals , Traumador is showing that Dinosaurs (and possibly by extension Archosaurs, but this of course needs to be tested) actually absorb MGR and process it in their biologic system. This is all I'm willing to record at moment in such an insecure database until formal publication of these findings however.

The coincidences just extended for around me from here however. Another former Tyrrell Museum specimen TMP 85. 14. 1 is also here in Melbourne for no connected reason. "Lillian" has become a definite point of concern, due to her current affiliation and employment by the Annex Corporation. I will come to my current plan of action on this problem shortly.

Fortunately I was able to focus time and energy on the primary purpose for my visit in Melbourne.

That of course being my grad student BA 4204 [Melbourne Museum catalogue number], or "Dip" as many of the staff of the museum have come to call her.

After my discussions with her on both her status and progress, I have to say I'm more than pleased with Dip's progress. In fact this is an understatement. I'm very proud of her. Especially considering the limited attention and time I've been able to give her since she started studying with me as the master of her studies.

Indeed my constant state of travel around the globe has made me a poor excuse for a supervisor. That is being too lenient to myself really. My role is to be more than a mere academic authority to Dip. I should be a mentor and guide to her along this difficult road. Yet due to the constant nature of the battle we face I've had to make sacrifices. There is not a day I do not feel them either.

Despite my failures, Dip has been demonstrating incredible self reliance and resilience. With the exception of the extreme supportive nature of the staff here at the museum and from the rest of the Australian scientific community, for which I'm very grateful, poor Dip has been meeting a great deal of resistance and hostility to what she is trying to do. If she did not have me and the initiative to back her, I fear Dip's dream of being the first Dinosaur palaeontologist would remain just that. A dream. Yet she is making it a reality one day at a time.

Dip has managed to keep on schedule with her thesis, and I expect her to graduate her PHD as planned late next year. This is impressive considering the many limitations her Dinosaurian anatomy places on her. Writing and typing are very difficult given her lack of proper grasping digits. My schedule has continually delayed the acquisition of specially designed equipment to make this easier for her. Yet she has overcome this with the use of her head and in particular beak.

Also the ceratopsian lack of stereoscopic vision has provided her with interesting challenges with reading as well. I am in the process of having special glasses fashioned for her that may remedy this problem (although it remains to be seen if her visual cortex can actually process a unified field of view. I look forward to the possible realms of research this 'experiment' will provide).

So despite my inability, even while in Australia it seems, to provide her the full magnitude of my attention Dip has still been prevailing.

If only the other new issues of this week were so easy to see to completion.

In particular the Annex Corporation situation has me on edge. I always worry about where vivus-fossils end up in today's increasingly materialistic world. It is bad enough to consider the fate of many standard fossils, but to have the last living remains of the world's past end up in private collections and be kept from the greater scientific community, it puts me greatly at unease.

It is far worse when the company is involved! I've spent the better part of the last two decades fighting off their ever increasing incursions into the realm of palaeontology. All to no avail it seems, or at least feels like sometimes, especially when the crown jewel of Alberta's leading palaeontological institution ends up as a simple prop piece in one of Annex corp.'s travelling shows. This was not a problem back when I began the initiative in the 70's.

Of course there is a whole new range of issues that have arisen since those "simpler days".

My lead saurian Lieutenant ROM 975 [Royal Ontario Museum Catalogue Number], being one of them. Now this is not for a moment to insinuate that "Lance" is not a most capable assistant. In the three years he has been acting as advisor and bodyguard I have had few concerns with his abilities or capability. However his excessive paranoia of theropods is one of those few concerns I do have.

In the course of my briefing Lance about my current plans at dealing with the Annex Corp. situation Lance interrupted me. He proceeded to rant about how he was certain Traumador was a planted spy of the Pack of the Primordial Feather whose purpose was to monitor the greater Dinosaur community.

Now I don't entirely blame Lance for his fears of theropods given what they've done to him over the years. Combine that with the training I've been giving him since he was a hatchling, and you would expect some degree of adversarial distrust. Sadly though Lance has recently given into something of a theropod bogeyman syndrome. Not a single one of them is to be trusted in his mind, and they are all out to destroy him and his fellow herbivorous Dinosaurs.

Again I do not blame him for these fears either. They are, only to an extent mind you, based on a real threat. Yet another new trend of this new millennium are "the Packs". Suddenly there is a drive within the vivus-theropod community to unify into large blocks for purposes that are so far their own. I am not sure whether the purpose of these select groupings is merely for a sense of security in numbers or whether it is for a more organized cause. In either actuality these Packs amount to something very similar to human gangs. They are destructive, corruptive, and in general a large nuisiance. I have enough to worry about that alone what the fossils I'm trying to protect are up to.

At the same time, Traumador is certainly not one of the theropods he should be wasting time or energy worrying about. If anything I am much more concerned with the prospect of having to now extend Traumador a curtain of protection, especially considering how much he has currently put himself out in certain aspects of the museum world.

Sadly I was only able to get Lance to moderate his distrust for the small Tyrannosaur. We did both agree however he is most certainly becoming a definite player in our sphere of influence. Whether this is a long term situation or just a short lived anomaly remains to be seen. I also worry about Traumador's current lack of 'friendly' guidance and supervision. This 'Ms. Rhonwyn' is new to me, and I do not have the time to current waste checking into her back ground. I need to get someone I know and trust already to monitor Traumador. I do have a possible solution in mind for this I shall have to look into activating when I return to Canada next.

Lance also informed me of yet another strange development on this trip that occurred yesterday. Traumador has resumed his attempt to court Lillian. Odd considering his famed failure in the fall of 2006. Even I received word about that while in China of all places! A most curious development indeed. We shall have to wait to see what comes of it. Especially considering the drastic nature of my intended intervention on Lillian's current employment situation.

Which brought Lance to a side project of his own. I brought him along on this trip solely due to his role as my bodyguard. My purpose was supposed to merely be checking in on Dip. Now of course with the huge number of tangent distractions I have allowed myself to be distracted by, Lance has taken this to mean he can himself fall into such a trap too.

Lance voiced interest in approaching Lillian about the taskforce. An interesting suggestion on his part, especially given his aforementioned aversion to theropods. Yet I was forced to disagree with him.

Despite her very public, and I note, current lack of affiliation with the Pack of the Primordial Feather, this did not necessarily denote she was a prime candidate. Not that I don't appreciate his thinking. A theropod would bring a bit more desperately needed diversity to the project, and a Tyrannosaurid would definitely have its uses on the team.

Yet I question Lillian herself. She has not yet figured out who she is as an individual. The past two years of her life have been nothing but a constant attempt at regaining her former star attraction glory. Who is to say that when push came to shove, which it will sadly be coming to very soon, she will not just cave in and finally join the Pack. I personally still see this as a distinct possibility.

Lance did not agree with me, and in his typical stubborn told me that his instinct told him she was good natured at heart. Very high praise considering the source, but Lance has been wrong before where I have not. My decision stands. We will execute my plan for dealing with the Annex Corp. complication and than watch, from a far at first, how Lillian deals with the realities that exist for a vivus-dinosaur such as herself. A cold stance I know, but sadly the only viable one. I can not have the Pack of the Primordial Feather continue to corrode my efforts to the extent that they have been recently.

As for Traumador, the time for watching him from a far came and went undetected as he himself has gone undetected. He has most certainly become a player, even if it is as far as the Pack is concerned. If I can monitor him closely than perhaps through him I can learn more of the Pack of the Primordial Feather. For if there is one thing that is certain about this unpredictable little theropod it is that the Pack of the Primordial Feather will be making a move for or against him. Soon.

primal love... (lillian part 0)

i discovered the most unexpected thing today on my museum quest for ms. rhonwyn (my boss at the otago museum). while here at new Zealand's national museum te papa in wellington, i stumbled across an advert that has caused me both immense excitedness but also sadness...
_

as many of you probably know, new zealand is not an overly abundant source for dinosaur fossils. i can now confirm that first hand, having seen the majority of their 10ish dinosaur bones all in one incredibly small display case here at te papa! none of the bones even came from the same individual let alone articulate with each other!

_

so if a new zealand museum wanted to put on a dinosaur display they'd have to borrow the dinosaurs from somewhere else...

_

well te papa just hosted such an exhibit a couple months ago, people of the innerweb, and finding out where they got some of their dinosaurs really hit "home" for me...

_

not just because this means more dinosaurs are coming over here to my "supposedly" saurian-free zone. not because i missed the exhibition... though this does irritate me since i love to keep up to date with what my kind has to do to make a living in the human world.... it hit home for me, people of the web wide world because of the star attraction of the travelling dinosaur exhibition they brought in...

_

the annex co. international dinosaur exhibition show cased many cool specimens. fossil skeletons and remains from all over the world (in fact looking at the advert i can't help but notice a brilliant world-wide and cross time period coverage! this looks like it was one heck of an amazing exhibition!), interactive displays and activities, a daily puppet show (got to love puppet shows!), but the biggest draw of all was non other than lillian the albertosaur!!!

_

now for those of you out there on the innerweb who don't know who lillian is here's the short version... cause i could talk about her all day... so hot! oh man just thinking about her there caused me to drool on myself!

_

for the longest time lillian was the star attraction at the royal tyrrell museum. to give you an idea how big a star, she was among the only 4 living dinosaurs allowed in the museum's main dinosaur hall while tourists were in the building! (i can't even count how many of the rest of us drumheller based dinosaurs wished we were in that boat!).

_

despite the other three, lillian was the poster hatchling... er child of the lot. after all who wants to see an edmontonia, stegoceras, or struthiomimus more than a glorious tyrannosaurid goddess like lillian?

i of course, met her during this period. the whole time i grew up and worked at the tyrrell i'd see lillian standing magnificently in the dinosaur hall with crowds gathered around her. by the time i was 3 years old i was head over heel claws for lillian. i'd never (and still haven't) seen a more beautiful coelurosaur in all my life...

_

which leads us to the hardship and tragedy of this particular tale. you see i fancied her so much that well i... well kinda sorta... oh this is embarrassing to say people of the web wide world... i kinda asked her out...

i know! i KNOW! what was i thinking?!? what could a bomb-shell from the cretaceous like her possibly ever see in a pathetic little runt of a king lizard like me???

anyways when i asked her out i might have accidentally mentioned some rumours going around at the time about the museum thinking about letting her go. she really didn't like that, and got unbelievably angry with me (well okay unbelievably angry for a human... as far as female tyrannosaurids go this was believable i guess), and obviously didn't go out with me...

after i left the tyrrell (i was fired a day after that!) lillian ended up being let go as well. so it wasn't just a rumour i'd heard. so it proved my good intentions in telling her were justified, and she'd tried to kill the messenger... not the message!

turns out the museum let her go due to the interventions of my JERK! of a cousin larry. he wanted to get back at lillian for not joining his stupid coelurosaur only club the pack of the primordial feather...

i had no idea what had happened to her after this. she disappeared from drumheller, and i had no way of finding out where she'd gone or what had happened to her...

i guess she got on with the annex co. exhibition after this, and managed to stay a star. that makes me happy!

making me very sad and miserable though, people of the innerweb is the fact i missed seeing her by a mere month!!!

now i've spent the whole afternoon pining over it! i mean a lot has changed in both our lives. neither of us is still stuck in dinosaur overflowing drumheller. it's been a long time (almost 2 years) since all that went down. i've got a lot more going for me, and i feel a lot more confident (though a growth spurt would be handy) and capable than i did at the tyrrell.

what if we'd bumped into each other? maybe i could have had a second chance!

just imagine it people of the innerweb...

once upon a time... er a month ago time...

i'd have been wandering through te papa exploring its scary maze like interior, and getting lost like i did here today. only a month ago i'd have made an unbelievably happy discovery!

i can just see it in my tiny brain the size of a peanut...

_

across the lobby i'd spot lillian in all her glorious beauty... oh man especially those legs. er sorry... _

the thought of just seeing her again makes me feel giddy people of the innerweb!

_

now how cool would it be if i spotted her, and she didn't see me! oh that would be the perfect set up for getting myself back into her life... i could go on a tyrannosaur style hunt. not for prey, but for love... her not knowing i was here well that'd be the first step in emotional prowling!

_

i'd have to play it cool when i finally approached her. couldn't make it seemed like too forced a run in. casual. definitely needs to seem casual...

in the main lobby would be the perfect spot... i could just stand there 'minding my own business', and suddenly turned around surprised. "why lillian albertosaur! what are you doing here in new zealand?" i could ask pleasantly astonished.

"oh me, i moved here 2 years ago after leaving the tyrrell," i'd reply matter of factly when she asked what i was doing in new zealand. it'd be key i didn't show my annoyance or pain of getting rejected by the tyrrell... i can't seem like i'm still hung up over the place. cause though i still miss it on occasion, i sometimes feel i'm better off down here than i was up there. sometimes...

now would come the tricky part. the getting through the ackwardness that was our last interaction in drumheller. i couldn't let that linger or go unsaid. i needed to start on a fresh page, and to make sure of that i'd want to confront it right away...

so after slickly talking away the misunderstanding, and getting her to see i was trying to help her i'd hopefully have her interested in catching up a little more. how hard could all that really be? it seems so easy when i'm imagining it...

_

here she'd find out we have a lot in common. we're both tyrannosaurids trying to make it in the harsh, and often misunderstanding human world. neither of us likes my cousin larry! both of us refused to join the pack of the primordial feather. uh... i'm sure loads of other stuff would come to the surface...

anyways after this pleasant conversation and smooth reentry into her sphere of existence (come to think of it did she even know my name back in the day?) we'd both have things to do that day, places to go. so i'd cleverly ask in passing as we prepared to go our separate ways "would you care to meet sometime tomorrow for a bite to eat?"

she'd think about it and suggest after her shift tomorrow... no better she'd insist i pick her up after work!

i'd say i'd meet her back in the lobby at closing time sharp (with the devious plan of being just a touch late to not come off as too desperate!).

so than how would i prepare for this dinner "date"... i use the quotations because though we didn't formally call it a date she'd know... right?

hmmmm i'd have to bring something. i've watched enough human movies to know that the boy has to bring the girl something nice at the beginning... only what do you get a female albertosaur?!?

i still haven't made a final choice (maybe the only good reason i'm a month late. be kinda hard to pull this off, and still not know what i'm bringing!!!), but here's what i've thought of so far:

A. Flowers

i know humans give each other flowers. only i'm not sure it'd be best for lillian.

_

the point of flowers is to keep them around your home and make the place prettier. only most tyrannosaurids, especially now road show lillian wouldn't have anywhere to keep them...

so to fix that problem...

B. Flowers in a vase

if i brought her flowers in their own good looking container that'd do the trick.

however it still leaves the problem of whether lillian would like them or not...

see tyrannosaurids don't have the fixation on making our homes pretty. in fact in our natural state we don't really have permanent homes, and even a packs home range could change a lot.

come to think of it flowers were still kind of primitive in the cretaceous, and i'm not sure they were as pretty as today. all i know is that i have no tyrannosaur instincts telling me i like flowers. i think i picked that up growing up among humans!

okay so rethinking flowers for the gift i came at it from a different angle!

C. Pizza

now my logic here is what do human boys bring girls if not flowers? why chocolates of course!

the problem here is we theropods are such big fans of sweet human foods. their being based on sugar cane PLANTS and all.

so what has the same sort of bad for you flavour? tomato sauceless modified dough meat lovers pizza. not only does it have lots of yummy meat, but cheese being a real novelty animal product (we dinosaurs of course don't lactate like you mammals so milk is just a really whacky food experience for us in the modern world!).

however i thought maybe some parts of this gift, especially the dough, might be a bit hard to come by. so i came up with another food...

D. Squid

now i won't lie to you people of the web wide world. i'm not sure why squid came into my peanut sized brain. i think i might have used up all my thinking capacity on those first ideas.

squid is tasty, but a bit too rubbery.

that and come to think of it food based gifts would ruin lillian's appetite, and that would then ruin our date. food is a big part of the date.

so i was going to need something completely different...

E. Rock Hammer

okay i hear what you're saying people of the innerweb. "traumador why a rock hammer?!?"... the problem is i can't answer you!

i really do think my first few ideas has worn out my poor little brain.

in fact thinking it through now a rock hammer is just a WEIRD gift. not just in human terms, but for a dinosaur living today you have to understand a rock hammer has a lot of connotations attached to it.

they're our life line into the cenozoic, and are typically how humans 'rescue' our eggs from the limbo of deep time. at the same time giving one to a dinosaur as a gift is kinda like saying you're a loser, and you need this to find and dig up a friend.

so yeah scratch that last idea from the list!

again though i ask you people of the innerweb; what do you give an albertosaur on a date?

after the gift it would time to go on the date.

as i asked her out to dinner, we're going to have to go to dinner.

now for a human such as yourself dinner is merely the act of sitting down and eating. it can of course be a very enjoyable activity for people, but afterwards they typically need to engage in another 'bonding' experience.

for us tyrannosaurs getting something to eat wasn't just a part of the daily routine, it is our lifestyle. being the dominant predator means you have to be on top of not just your eating habits but your eating choices. the best part about our hunting was it was often a social event.

so rather than take lillian out to some fancy boring human resturant, where i'd have to blow my entire earnings as a museum security guard, i'd take her to the most common site (and sight i guess... how do you like that pun!?!) in new zealand...

a field of sheep...

which would be so easy. i couldn't get lost finding 'the place' even if i tried. just pick a direction and head out of town. no matter which way you headed you'd be at a sheep station in no time...

when you think about it a farm pen is just like a resturant for a theropod. it would combine the thrill of the hunt, with the ease of an controlled eating environment. you'd have to catch and kill your prey, but there's no risk of it escaping during the chase!

i can just picture our anticipation as we stalked into a paddock.

the herd of sheep shifting uneasily as it detected our presence. unlike our standard saurian prey of ceratopsians or even way less hardcore hadrosaurs, sheep can't pull any dangerous defenses. none of that mass stampeding towards us (your average horned or duckbilled dinosaur weighing 2 tons, with really big duck billed dinos being 4 tons would mean a whole highway worth of traffic rushing at you!!!), or organized defence patterns, and or run the other way from you.

oh the anticipation... i think. to be honest i've never really done the proper tyrannosaur thing. i'm getting excited thinking about it, and hope it'd be as fun in real life as in my head. hopefully lillian has done it before, or we could go hungry that night come to think of it...

okay so first thing in the hunt is to size up the herd, and try to spook it into disunity. that'd be fun. with lillian's beautiful massive size (tyrannosaurid females are the hotter the bigger they are) of just under 2 tonnes, the puny pathetic sheep would be a nice fun easy spooking.

then the really fun part! the rush!!!

we'd charge the herd, and try to seperate a few of the weaker ones from the majority. heck cause we're on a fun date maybe we could even pull a human move and choose stronger individuals for the kill.

this is going to be the real shared experience of the date. the key social bonding in tyrannosaurids comes from our pack coordination. if i could impress lillian here than progressing things between us from here would be easy...

though lillian brings sheer power and brute strength to the hunt, on account of being a full sized adult, even her jaws, the most powerful in the natural world can't bring down a puny sheep if she can't catch it. that's where i come in. just like in the old days of the cretaceous i'd be the sprinter with my juvenille tyrannosaurid body. i'd chase the sheep right to where she could...

_

finish off the fun. there would be no point in being quick about it mind you. again its not like our dinner is getting away or anything. so we could prolong the hunt, and chase the herd from one end of the paddock to the other to our hearts content!

with us eventually making the kill... though the best part is unlike 65 million years ago (or 75 million i guess if we were going for lillian's era) if we wanted seconds we won't have to goto great lengths to track them down!

in the end i just know lillian would be extremely statisfied with our performance. not only would we have a tasty supper, but she definitely would get to be the dominiant one when it came to moving and presenting dinner.

tyrannosaurid females as the matriarchs of the pack are thus the boss, and they like to be in charge of everything food related. due to my small size i couldn't move a dead sheep even if i wanted to (so much blood... won't want to risk staining my shirt!), so lillian would have to do the moving, which would make her in charge of the kill, and i'm pretty sure she'd be more than happy with that!

having eaten our fill, timed perfectly with the sunset we'd sit watching it and talking about sweet nothings. i could impress her with all my thinking on various topics like modern dinosaurs' place in the modern world, or why squid is such underrated theropod meal, and how much my cousin larry sucks and his stupid pack of the primordial feather!

the best part being as we got more and more comfortable around each other i could finally make my move. this is something i won't dare risk (again) until lillian was quite at ease. after filling her belly, and a nice calming conversation lillian would be much more relaxed than normal.

tyrannosaurids are irritable things at the best of times. there's plenty of examples in the fossil record of where we tried to rip each other to pieces. females being the bigger and scarier of us tyrannosaurids, were the worst. try to place the mac too soon, and you're dead meat. especially if you're a bite sized me!

my move would be to mate with her...

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there's only one problem people of the innerweb... i have NO idea what mating is or what it means!!!

i've seen, heard, and read the word mating tons of times in nature shows, documentaries, and books. it's what boy and girl animals do to finalize their courtships, but they never say anything beyond that...

back when i was a hatchling still living with my discoverer and legal guardian craig i asked him what mating meant. he said he'd tell me when i was older. when i asked how old was old enough, craig replied that my instincts would kick in and i'd know what to do anyway, but that i could ask then... problem is that i moved out shortly after that, and to boot forgot to ask about it everytime i saw him after that!

when i tried to look it up on the innerweb just now hit either a bunch of sites that needed me to be older than 18 (that's a tyrannosaur senior citizen we only live into our 20's!!! i'm ALMOST 5 for crying out loud! if i was growing normally i'd look like a near fully grown coelurosaur... stupid dinosaurist human rules!) and one site that said something about birds and bees...

what does birds and bees have to do with two tyrannosaurs courting? i guess we're the birds? so than i guess i'll have to research a sheep farm beside a bee keepers!... wait what did dinosaurs and other animals do before the cretaceous when bees hadn't evolved yet?!?

anyways it won't matter. i know that after this perfect night, and perfect date that my second courtship of lillian would go off without a hitch...

and we would live happily ever after...

that people of the innerweb is what i would do if i ever bumped into lillian the albertosaur again... with a plan this tight what could go wrong?

Production Note: The answer to poor Traumador's question will be coming to the Tyrannosaur Chronicles in June 2008... After the completion of the, sadly rather drawn out, museum quest the Chronicles will be making a more permanant shift towards Dinosaur and prehistoric themes so be sure to check back in with us, and in the meantime follow Traum on his visits of the various museums throughout New Zealand.



Also be sure to check out the rest of the Prehistoric Insanity Production's affliate blogs' entries into the Boneyard #20 contest.

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* Peter Bond takes us on a tour of Canada's largest fossil collection

* Prehistoric Insanity Productions takes you on a behind the scenes making of this meeting a 3D Lillian Prehistoric Creature.

* The Weapon of Mass Imagination takes us through his amateur but yet not dull adventures in palaeontology.

Also be sure to hit Laelaps to check out the other entries, and most important to vote. You simply have to leave a comment on the Laelaps post to register your vote.

Thanks for stopping by, and hopefully see you again in the future!