22.5.07

signs of success

well things have been fairly uneventful in my life people of the innerweb as of late. a bit of a shock to hear i'm sure, cause it has been a shock to me!

this week a fairly noteworthy event has occurred to disrupt my newly emerging normality though...

i stand here at the entrance to the dell (my new home here in the botanic garden) and admire the new OFFICIAL sign denoting my occupancy of the area.

it's official issue from the department of conservation, and is part of my new protection program. man that just sounds so cool, having my own conservation program... and it is even cooler then it sounds!

oh wait how rude of me people of the innerweb... i haven't told you that story yet have i!

well it all started yesterday morning...

a visitor arrived bright and early in the morning at the park... not an unusual occurrence i guess, come to think of it. we do get a LOT of visitors here a day!... but this would be no ordinary visitor...

she probably would have gone unnoticed like the countless hundreds others who have passed through the gardens since i moved in, but there was something about her that was different...

a presence i guess would be the best way to describe it... the very way she walked about the upper gardens with a sense of purpose denoted something unusual about her being here...

like the very capable and diligent headmaster of the gardens that he is, ben the gardener picked up on her within only a few minutes. being a much braver creature then me (it must be noted people of the innerweb despite my being a potentially fierce t-rex i'm something of a "chicken"... well in more then one way i guess. we t-rexs are related to chickens...) ben went up to personally investigate our new comer...

he was surprised to learn that she already knew who he was. even more surprising was her request for him to assist her in finding me...

now of course at the time i was unaware of any of this going on below me in the main part of the garden. all i know is that i got a phone call on my still newish "cell" phone from ben asking me to come meet as he put it a "special visitor".

so like a good tenant i started on my way to meet up with my landlord, and who ever this mysterious visitor ben had spoken of... having no clue as to just how important a meeting this would end up being...

ben in the meantime being the great guy he is tried to be a friendly host/facilitator by making small talk. our guest though would have none of it...

leaving poor ben in something of a lurch. he's not the sort to have people be unsociable to him (which is funny i guess... you'd think someone who spends a lot of time around plants would be used to not being talked to...)

instead the stranger seemed to be observing and scrutinizing everything as she walked. sizing up the whole garden for some unknown reason...

it was about this time that i entered the picture... in more then one way in fact! cause hey here i am in this picture hehehehe...

ben proceeded to introduce me to the stranger. from whom he had only gotten a name... and who she worked for.

"traumador this is agent hamiliton. she's from the department of conservation, and she's here to see you" ben said as politely as he could, though it was clear he wanted to leave the presence of our slight icy guest...

for a second i was really excited! man i'd been waiting for the D.O.C. (that's fancy movie type talk for department of conservation! who thought i'd get to cut down a big long title like that just like a movie boy oh boy!) to contact me for a little while here. cutting my enthusiasm short...

"excellent. thank you for your assistance," agent hamiliton said to ben. "you may go now."

wow that was almost rude i thought. she then turned to me. "we can get started now mr. tyrannosaur."

oh man i was primed. get started on my conservation program... not that i knew what that actually meant, but it sounded big and impressive...

"i'll need to see exactly where you've established your new habitat," requested (well almost came across as more of an order come to think of it) agent hamilton.

as i lead the way to the dell i started asking a ton of questions about agent hamilton, the D.O.C., and all sorts of other stuff... come to think of it why i asked her whether santa was ACTUALLY real may have been bad for a first impression...

much to my surprise she simply ignored my questions and was writing things down in her notebook... which as far as i can tell is part of her arm. cause she never puts it down...

due to her lack of talking to me... which was quite disconcerting i assure you people of the innerweb... the walk up to the dell seemed to take forever... it probably didn't help that we slowed down a number of times cause she had to take notes...

at the entrance to the dell we stopped. that surprised me as i was going to take her down to show her my home.

"i'm not properly appraised nor equipped for that in depth an investigation today," she countered my direct invitation to go into the dell.

i was confused...

"mr. tyrannosaur the purpose of my visit today is simply to establish the baseline for your protection program," agent hamilton started noting my confounded look. "if i were to enter into your habitat today without proper knowledge of your behaviour or biologic needs, i could cause critical disruptions to your well being."

"uh but i just offered," i said thinking this was 'proper knowledge' enough.

"now i'm going to need to know a few things," she kept going ignoring me. "what is the approximate extent of your territory in the dell?"

"uh," i hesitated. based on her thus far stern and very serious nature i didn't want to answer the part of the dell that wasn't part of ben's fabled scary maze. so i opted for answering"the usable part."

"am i correct in assuming you establish a territory then?" she seemed to be interrogating me... like on a TV show or something...

"i guess so," i was kinda scared now that i'd answer wrong and fail a test or something.

"are you meeting your basic sustenance and shelter needs in this range?" she eyed me.

"huh?" i've never taken a basic sustaining shelter course before!

"you have enough food and acceptable shelter here," agent hamilton seemed to be getting impatient with me.

"oh. yeah, and if not there's a fish and chips shop just across the road," i replied. realizing i hadn't been specific. "uh that's for either more food or shelter."

"right," she seemed unhappy with that response as she wrote in her notes. "lastly what impacts have humans been having directly on your range?"

now as i've been trying to improve my out look on life and not focus on the negatives lately, people of the web wide world i haven't mentioned one of the problems with my new home...

"people walking through the dell or the rest of the garden have... well been kinda, getting scared when they see me," i answered.

"and?" agent hamilton didn't seem happy about that answer either...

"it's just i don't like making people scream is all," i hesitantly replied. i didn't want to get people in trouble, and i worried maybe my answer might do just that...

"consider it taken care of," hamilton looked up from the last note she scribbled down. "we were going to zone this off anyway. i'll just make sure it happens immediately so this noise pollution doesn't bother you anymore."

what? zone off? am i playing a sport suddenly that i was unaware of?

"right," she interrupted my pondering of her last statement. "that concludes my initial queries for now."

agent hamilton turned and started to walk away from the dell back towards the main gardens...

i was kinda caught off guard by this, and had to run to catch up with her. when i did without looking agent hamilton started talking to me...

"now mr. tyrannosaur for the last month and a half you're existence here in new zealand was, to put it gently nebulous," what does my life have to do with space clouds?

"as of this morning you and your case have been completely registered within the department of conservation, and as of such you are now our responsibility. we are going to be taking every precaution and measure we can to ease your integration into new zealand's biosphere, while at the same time hopefully impacting on your existence as little as possible."

"at the same time it must be said that unlike the month and half leading up to now things are going to be a little different," she almost turned to look at me. "you've been allowed to settle into your new surroundings and hopefully adapt to the native ecosystem without interference. more to the point you haven't had to deal with us at the department much. as of today that changes mr. tyrannosaur."

"from here on in you will be officially monitored and checked up on as per standard procedure for endangered species such as yourself. furthermore i must once again remind you of the official protocols and procedures placed on you by your conservation directives. you must remember to adhere to those directives ALL the time from here on in."

"apart from that this concludes this official first checkup," she reached into her pocket. "here is my contact information should you need to contact me about anything, especially your directives. i will be your contact to the department, and as of such don't feel hesitant to talk to me about any problems you might be experiencing."

though i had a gazillion questions i didn't want to invoke her stern look or make her mad by asking them so with that she promptly made her way out of the park...

this morning i was awoken by the sound of what sounded like drills...

investigating i was shocked to discover someone had posted a number of these signs at the entrances to the dell...

their again official issue from the department of conservation which is kinda cool.

so there we go people of the innerweb. quite a bit has happened from one visitor...

all i'm left wondering is why does the sign say "beware" of tyrannosaur... don't you think that will just make people more scared of me?...

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