just like before!

61.4 million BC

okay so my exploration of vancouver goes on! today i've continued my journey through the foresty realm of north vancouver. man i need to learn if there are elves or something living in here...

i came across something again here today! who knew? you get out and explore the world and this seems to happen to me at least once a day... what's up with that?

it was a big fence, even more hardcore then the one around dinotown... it said people had lost their lives on the other side. it was easily thick enough (compared to those ninny fences outside dinotown) to hold in a theropod! the resemblence to jurassic park is just stupid, and considering how close i am to 65 million could this in fact be my goal?

did they put up this fence in the lands of vancouver to hold in the primal rage that is my kind? or was their some other explanation?

well i can't tell you at moment. though this fence is signficantly more sturdy then the dinotown one it is way less electricy, but MAN does it have a good lock. i've been tugging on this for 30 min and it isn't giving!

lesson learned (dinotown part 6)

43 000 009 BC

well i'm giving up my mission to get into dinotown. clearly this isn't the refuge it was meant to be. more a hostile fortress against us t-rexs...

even mother nature is giving me my que to leave. after all four of my top secret plans failed, and i was trying to figure out what to do next... clouds rolled into the valley and blanketed the nice view.

it sure does look like jurassic park here now. only the fences aren't being turned off!

so with one last view of the dinner that never was, i depart. i've wasted too much time here. i need to make sure i don't stall getting to 65 million BC.

i did however learn something about us dinosaurs today. so i guess this debacle wasn't for nothing.

some of us are jerks!

well at least the plant eaters...

the real lesson here is that i should get used to being unpopular. who knew that the cost of being the top of the food chain would so expensive? well i guess that money was more making my own dinotown... but being a t-rex seems to make you unpopular with the other dinos too. where's one of those credit card commericals to tell me how much that costs?

have to make sure once i find the other t-rexes at 65 million that we keep the plant eaters there from banding together like these here at dinotown. their scary when they work together... should have seen this coming. i saw disneys dinosaur. man these guys were the more civilized version of that wandering gang calling itself a herd...

well time for the long walk back to the car... in the rain. those clouds just starting pouring...

the (not so) great breakin (dinotown part 5)

43 000 016 BC

okay so i needed to bust into dinotown for a bunch of really righteous reasons...

after spending the night at my car considering my options only one course was clear. or rather a bunch of courses. okay i'm confused too... i think my brains a little jolted after today's events

so this morning i had to come up with what i was going to do. now i've watched movies like impossible mission, peter bond 007, and home alone. the key to this sort of thing is to come up with a plan...

so that's what i did...

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plan 1

operation: chain fence link (a popular evolutionary theory by the way)

objective: to scale the protective fence around enemy stronghold

procedure: climb the fence

planned implementation: 1100 hours

debrief:

11:09 all operatives carried out phase 1 without incident. enemy position was approached with extreme stealth (just like batman!).

11:14 team leader codenamed peanut fountain initiated phase 2 at approximately 1120 hours. enemy fence proved deceptively easy to climb

11:15 mid phase 3 (reaching top of fence) team met with extreme enemy resistance.

11:23 after the initial lose of cohesion and clear leadership, team was able to regroup... one casualty was identified in the field. team member codenamed juciy fruit was reported lost in combat...

supplemental:

okay so climbing the fence wasn't the best idea i've ever had. who would have known those electricy fence looking wires at the top would ACTUALLY be electricy?!?

so these planteaters may have kaputted that idea... what fun would it have been to win so easy... oh wait, a lot!

STUPID planteaters. oh well i had another plan that was sure to succeed

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plan 2

operation: great wall of BC

objective: to surprise assualt enemy defensive wall

procedure: sneak up on wall and climb it!

planned implementation: 1200 hours

debrief:

1206 operatives using extreme caution and stealth (like batman!) were able to faint retreat, and sneak into forest to approach enemies flank.

1212 enemy fortifications detected, and within strike teams projected attack vectors (that's military lingo for... uh you know classified type stuff).

1213 enemy peripheral defenses tripped. team caught in midst of gorilla ambush (it was actaully a lot more electricity... though the switch could have been thrown by a damn dirty ape!).

1246 yet more casualties were identified in aftermath of this defeat. operative codenamed shortterm memory lost in action...

supplemental:

man i'm getting sick of this electrocution thing! man these guys are good. planting electric weeds! wonder how much those seeds cost them, and how hard they are too grow?

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plan 3

operation: trojan town

objective: build replica dinotown to lure enemy out their position

procedure: build my own way cooler dinotown, and

when locals of real dinotown go to move in, i get into their dinotown

implementation: 1400 hours

debrief:

1405 contact local design, and develop blueprint of planned decoy location. also contracters and workers are hired to build neo dinotown

1415 all nessecary plans and people are in place. construction on neo dinotown begin

1535 constuction on neo dinotown complete.

1547 no sign of enemy reconnaissance. however a bus of swedish tourists arrive to check out neo dinotown due to the big sign

1555 strike team approaches enemy fortress, and begin loud casual conversation about "new better then the old dinotown". enemy commications intercepted in which enemy expresses how neo dinotown is too commerical and touristy, and thus they will stay where they are.

supplemental:

okay so maybe i shoulda thought this one through a bit more before i spent my whole life savings and took out 3 bank loans on this new town... one the plus side the swedish bought 4 t-shirts for $19.99 a piece. at that rate i should be outta debt in a thousand years!

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plan 4

operation: stringray (coolest operation name ever!)

objective: to scale the protective fence around enemy stronghold

procedure: climb the fence

planned implementation: 1600 hours

debrief:

1602 operatives were able to sneak up on enemy position with relative ease... agent codenamed common sense has vague feeling this is all too familiar...

1605 after initiating operation team meets predictable resistence.

1606 operative codenamed dignified pride declared killed in action...

supplemental:

right the electricyness of the fence...

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oh man this is no good! i'm outta plans people of the innerweb! unless a movie type miracle happens i'm not getting into dinotown...

so rambo should show up now with a boozeoka and fix this... okay now!... now???

barriers to success... (dinotown part 4)

43 000 012 BC (i can see some blocks in dinotown!)

okay well i've now walked all the way around dinotown. it either has fence or stone wall around it. leaving no clear way in...

the real kicker not even being that i haven't made any headway getting in. i'm STILL hungry, and that edmontosaur is just standing there just not being eaten... or i mean rather grazing (have to keep up good first impressions with the locals and all...)

after standing here a little while i was finally able to get the attention of some of the townsdinos


though they stood very clearly on their side of the wall. they didn't say anything just glared at me... like a western standoff or something.

i asked what the deal was. cause i mean a big fence around the coolest town of BC. what is the deal?

"outsiders are not welcome!" they shouted in unison.

man, they been practicing or something cause it was creepy how good that came out.

couldn't quite see how i was an outsider. like most times my mouth asked it out loud as i thought it... good skill to have!

"you come from the land of the humans." one started...

" the humans that drove us from our rule." another chatted after

"the humans that hated us." followed yet another...

then you guessed yet another added "the humans that harmed us"

okay i may need to be told things like a million times before i get it, not my fault with a brain the size of a peanut, but i was getting the picture! before the next one of them could say something all together creepy like i guessed

"are you going to say 'the humans'? "

the sauropod was about to say it, i bet you money, and then thought for a second and was like "yeah..."

"enough with what the humans did. what about em?" i demanded

the stegosaur stepped forward "you smell of the hated humans. you dress like the hated humans. you talk like the hated humans. most important of all you come from the land of the hated humans."

i think these guys have been locked away in the mountains a bit too long...

anyways i told them the story of the last few months since the summer...

"indeed it is as I've said. you have lived among humans too long to be one of us..."

okay i may have lived among, been raised by, and spent nearly all my time among humans but i was not uh or am a uh... oh man where was i going with this???

i tried to plead with them that was why i was here. to get back in touch with my dinosaur roots. to learn what it is to be a thunder lizard.

"no. you can not learn that here. you are not a true dinosaur. a true dinosaur would not have allowed himself to be bullied by humans as you have..." stated the stegosaur.

the long silence made it sound like the final word... my heart sank. was it true. was i not really a true dinosaur as the wise sounded ornithischian had stated...

then just as i was about to retrace the route to my car, crushed in this recent development, the silence was broken by the sauropod.

"that and your a meat eater..." he dumbly called out.

man and i thought my brain was small. well that turned things around. i figured it out. why hadn't i seen it before... oh yeah my brain is smallish. just not as small as the long necks.

no wonder there was a huge stone wall, and electric fence. it wasn't to keep humans out. it was to keep us meat eaters out. cause looking at all of them standing there it dawned on me. not a single theropod in the crowd!

they'd banished my kind from dinotown all those years ago... i stood there helplessly starring into the land denied my ancestors, as the oppresive plant eaters casually wandered back into their scandalous town...

i wasn't going to allow this misjustice to stand. i vowed then and there that i would not only avenge my kind. i'd also make dinotown truely a community for ALL dinosaurs!!!

where dinosaurs roam the earth (dinotown part 3)

43.000 001 BC

well i can now confirm there are indeed dinosaurs here in BC! however that's about all i can tell you at this moment... er well i'll tell you everything that's happened till now

so i was following the road trying to find dinotown, when something on the other side of the stone wall caught my eye (remember the wall i found yesterday, and that runs alongside the road). it looked like one of the trees was moving. it was no tree though

i only saw it for a few seconds, but that tree was actually a sauropod, or long necked dinosaur! it had to have seen me (or at least heard, cause i was screaming "hey over here! it's great to see a fellow dinosaur!"). as i ran up to the wall though it vanished into the forest. not cause he was fast or anything, quite the opposite, but rather it's just a really foresty forest...

now i knew i had to be on the right trail. heading down the road i took advantage of every rock or tree i could get up on (which can be hard, i've got really small arms remember) to peek over the wall...

for the next hour or so nothing... but then on the 7th rock i saw something

there was no mistaken it. though it was heading off into the forest as fast as it could, that was the back of a stegosaurus. just like the sauropod it was running into the forest too...

i was of course getting more and more confused, but yet excited.

there were dinosaurs here! just why were they all booking it off into the forest in the general direction of that the road lead to? that must mean this was the way to dinotown. maybe they were just heading off to organize a surprise welcome party (i promised the trees that i'd act surprised even though i'd figured it out)

then the road came to an end, and i could see the bestest thing i'd seen all day. an edmontosaurus. man all that walking, hiking, searching, and not eating had made me hungry! right there though a steak just standing there waiting to be eaten!

man when these dinotown guys throw a party they sure deliever on the meal side of things!

just one problem... running towards my soon to be lunch i discovered a new obstacle. in addition to the stonewall was a fence blocking me from not just my meal, but just beyond him DINOTOWN!

so here i stand just on the other side of freedom (or at enclosed and contained safety) writing this blog. all i have to say is what gives?!?

signs of dinosaurs (dinotown part 2)

43.000 001 BC

while still following the stone wall around a possible town of dinosaurs i encountered definate proof of their existence (just wasn't sure if it was recent or not...)


i found a road leading further into the forest, and beside that road was a sign like non i'd seen before. a dinosaur sign! i'm from drumheller land of a hundred dinosaurs, and they don't have signs like this one...

well this had to mean i was on the right track! so i followed the road for some distance. all the while i noticed the stone wall still ran just off in the forest. i wonder who put it there. my dinosaur brothern or the mean humans of hope!



interupting my curiosity about the origins of the wall, i found the greatest sign of a dinosaur presence here in BC. the official marker for... DINOTOWN!

it wasn't run down or made of stone. so if movies are right (and they seldom are wrong in my experience) this is a modern sign. meaning down this road i should find other dinosaurs and a possible new home!

well i've wasted enough time updating you people of the innerweb. my puter break is over now. i'm going to push on now. it's dinotown or BUST!!!

hope of no dinosaurs... (dinotown part 1)

b43 million BC!

well a few days ago i finally made it through the burning of manning park. got a nice tan too!

i woulda posted on the innerweb sooner, but i got kinda distracted.

i made it to a town called hope. though i am not far from my goal of 65 million, the other day presented an odd twist in my quest.

while getting gas for, hopefully, the last leg to 65 million BC i noticed that the gas attendents were staring at me. when i approached them they were really surprised.

"you've left your town?!?" they said.

i was like, "uh yeah. how'd you know?"

they just looked at me in puzzlement for a moment. i thought i'd broken their brains or something. then it hit me. these guys must have been reading my blog!

before i could ask them what they thought of this blog they really surprised me by saying

"of course we can tell you left your town. your kind was to stay out of our town. has been so since the ancient times..."

had i just stepped into a movie? cause that statement sure sounded like one!

then it occurred to me "your kind" did they just refer to my being a dinosaur? that would mean that there were other dinosaurs around here. the first i'd have come across in BC! asking them if there were other dinosaurs in this place they said...

"clearly you are not from around here little one... for indeed other dinosaurs once roamed this very town as we are not far from the BCs that your kind ruled... however we humans could not exist with your kind in the same town. too many of us were being eaten, squished, or forced to be action heroes...

then one day in the ancient times we humans took action!... your kind were driven from this town. for their rule on the BCs had ended, and we humans were sick of them keep us up at night with their roaring... when they left the dinosaurs did not go back into the deeper BCs to their own lands. rather they went deep into the forest and built their own town. the last refuge of dinosaurs beyond 65 million BC...

this town was to be a fortress designed at keeping them or any others from coming out of the deep BCs to threaten man's rule over the earth. it was thusly named hope. in hope of no more dinosaurs!"

man i need to learn more about the history of BC... and why we dinosaurs don't rule the earth anymore!

then it hit me. they said that there were dinosaurs here at 43 million BC. dinosaurs that had managed to make their own town outside of 65 million as a refuge! just the kinda place i'm looking for!!!


so people of the innerweb i set out into the mountains around hope to look for this town of dinosaurs... i hadn't found much for the last couple days. again why i haven't blogged. then just this morning i stumbled across a giant stone wall! it seems to surround an area that'd be perfect for a town... that or jurassic park...