so stopping in at the canterbury museum didn't really help me get rid of these maori flax artifacts (oh did i forget to mention these artifacts happen to contain all the mystic knowledge of the maori people!) for my boss ms. rhonwyn. so far whiro, the maori god of darkness, hasn't shown up. nor have any other mythical creatures or personalities... so far.
with the museum done and out of the way i saw no point in sticking around christchurch much longer... so i caught one of the many trams (spelt very similar to my name i can't help but notice) to have a bit of a fun trip back to my car.
turned out to be a lot more fun than i'd anticipated. unlike other trains i'd been on this one went through a lot of things trains normally don't go through... even buildings!
in one of them was the funniest clock i'd seen in a while. a kiwi clock (get it?... instead of a cuckoo clock!).
they also had a pretty nice statue of edmund hillary. he was the first guy to ever climb the biggest mountain in the world... what did they call it again... mt. earnest?i hear that edmund died just a little while ago... it's pretty sad. all the kiwis really liked him...
as i made it to cathedral square, which my car was just across, a really interesting thing occurred...a guy in a really old looking suit started to shout out for attention... he sure got mine.
"hear ye hear ye. the most amazing and capable wizard of new zealand approaches the square for all who seek an audience with him."
this guy i learned was the town crier, whose job is to alert people to stuff.
as for this wizard he mentioned. that sounded like somebody i could sure talk too!!!
not only was i being stalked by the magical whiro, but i'd been overdosed with magical energies when i stupidly opened one of the baskets... who better to get some help from on such matters than a wizard!
after waiting for about 20 minutes (which again as i didn't want to stay in one place too long this was amounting to a considerable chunk of time) the strangest car pulled up...
at first i didn't know why it caught my attention as being strange, but something in my peanut sized brain didn't like it...
i mean hey it was just a beetle. with a front end and...
another front end... wait a minute!
i think i'd found the wizard's car... but the wizard himself...
than i caught sight of an equally strange dude walking across the square. he was dressed in a very old skool robe and carrying a ladder...
now i'm not the world's biggest expert on wizards (or anything else really for that matter), but i was willing guess this might be my guy... though aren't they supposed to wear pointy hats?
as i made my way over to him he setup his ladder and climbed atop it, and started to blow a horn... yeah like as in a viking style horn...
"all who seek wisdom and knowledge i the wizard have arrived to dispense it," he hollered loudly so that all in the square could hear him.
alright i thought... i'm in need of both knowledge and wisdom here we go...
you see i wasn't the only one who'd come to see the wizard. a whole crowd had gathered to do so as well, and he just started talking us all...
not what i'd hoped for. i'd kinda wanted to ask him one on one about my current magic type problems. now i was going to have to ask him publicly... if i even got the chance.
cause you see he just kept talking, and about big brain type stuff i didn't get.
things like how the world has been run by different people varying from wizards to the church to business people. he thought that the world was upside down, and that we needed a new map of the world. lastly he thought the universe was inside out and that the earth was actually the inner side of the sphere of existence...
yeah my brain hurt too, and to top it all off he didn't talk about magic once!
he talked about these things for over an hour, and normally i'd have loved to listen, but i was in a hurry. i finally plucked up the courage to interrupt him...
"uh excuse me," i cut in.
he looked slightly puzzled at me for a moment. "why yes little dragon?" he asked bemused.
"i'm sorry to take your time sir," i mumbled kinda embarrassed now that all the people in the crowd were looking at me and were whispering to each other. "it's just i'm in a spot of magic trouble, and i was wondering if you could help me?"
he chuckled to himself. "what sort of trouble might that be?"
"where do i start," i said relieved. "first of all i exposed myself to a ton of magic from one of the kete o te wananga, and that's going to leave a mark let me tell you, and the god whiro is hot on my trail plus there might be other monsters out there looking for me..."
i stopped as the wizard raised his hand wanting me to stop. he was laughing louder now. "no no my little friend. though i like a good imaginary tale like fairies and goblins i do not claim to dispense that sort of knowledge. you'd be best to find group of children for that sort of thing."
"but i thought wizard's dealt with magic?" i pleaded.
he smiled. "we do my little friend, but magic has always just been knowledge beyond the grasp of the lay man. hence why we wizards are here to spread it!" he said spreading his arms in a grand gesture as the audience clapped. the wizard carried on with his speech.
as i hung my head in sadness and wandered back to my car i murmured "but i do have a magic problem."
why wouldn't the wizard help me?
i felt very alone on my mission at that moment, and wanted very much to leave christchurch and its wizard behind me.
next it was on to the continental shelf and the biggest predators of the modern world...
He's a fake, Traumador!
ReplyDeleteI don't trust wizards very much. I don't think anyone can.
ReplyDeleteNeat Kiwi Clock, though!